38. Smiling

Alex's POV

People kept trying to talk to me, but I felt like I couldn't hear over the constant fight in my head. Why did I listen to the voice?

The first worldly sound I heard in what felt like years came as a little baby's whining cry. The fighting ceased for a few seconds, and I managed to catch the rest of the voice that happened to be my brother's. "I figured you would want to see him after all of this time. Uh, don't worry, we've been taking care of him. Our father barely let me bring him down here, but I managed to convince him."

Ally brought me my son? My father excepts the baby? "Dan-Daniel... His name is Daniel." It was the first words I had spoken in days, and my voice was very scratchy.

"That's an amazing name, 'Lex. It really suits him." I smiled at the compliment.

"You think so?"

"Mhmm."

I managed to gather up enough strength to face Ally, and the sides inside of my chest began fighting again at the sight of my beautiful son. Only this time, the light was getting somewhere. When Dan shouted out to me, I found a rare smile gracing my lips. "Can I hold him?"

Ally looked like he was seriously pondering the question, and I realized how bad I looked. I appear to the world like a boy who lost it simply because someone close to me died. He may have been close to me, but I let the darkness in. "You have to promise me I can have him back, and I want to see you eat some food."

"I'll do anything." Ally crawled towards me, and I could feel his warm knees against mine. My child was pushed into my arms, and when I looked into his eyes not unlike mine, I felt joy, loss, sadness, but overall protectiveness. "Thank you." I need to protect this boy with everything I have, and I know that the light has to win. I pushed harder against the darkness, but he held on tightly. Suddenly, a plate with a sandwich was placed on my lap, and my stomach clenched at the sight of food. However, a deal is a deal. Ally took Dan out of my arms, but I didn't mind. The baby is probably safer with him than with me; my actions can be unpredictable.

As soon as the first bite passed my lips, I realized how famished I was, and I gobbled up the rest of the food. The nourishment helped against the darkness, but perhaps what helped even more was Ally's touch on the side of my head. No one has dared to touch me for a month, so I naturally leaned against his hand.

"I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"Bring Daniel." I knew that I was lost without the little boy.

"Don't worry, I will. Get some good sleep." Oh please, like that's possible.

"Bye."

"Bye."

He left hand in hand with Vic, and I rolled back over to stare at the wall. Now that my beacon was gone, the light side of my began to lose again, but we had taken down a good portion of the darkness. My fingers began to twitch again, and I buried them into my longer than usual brown hair. There's a reason my hair is currently falling out, and it isn't just from the darkness. I'm slowly losing it all alone, but I know if I mix with them, it will be dangerous.

Suddenly, a familiar scent reached my nose, and I looked up in confusion. I saw a familiar clothing item, and I crawled towards it. It feels so long ago that Ash wore this, but I could remember it like yesterday.

"Hey, baby, I bought a new hoodie!" Ash chirped while showing off the clothing item.

"Mmm... It looks really nice." I was lying. It made him look like the embodiment of a god. The silver cloth hugged him in just the right spots, and I could feel a blush running up my cheeks.

"I love you."

"Love you, too, idiot."

I lifted the fabric and took it back away from the door, but I couldn't stop breathing in his sweet scent. The light attacked with a vengeance, but just the scent of my vampire wasn't enough to fight away the darkness; I would need the real thing. My legs came up into my chest, and for the first time I let my tears fall. He's somewhere up in the sky all alone like I am down here on earth, and I just wanted to see him again.

When I heard yet another plate of food slide in through the door, I actually looked at it. The meal was another ham sandwich, and I found the strength in myself to nibble at the meal again. Clearly the trick to beating the darkness is keeping a solid head and healthy lifestyle, so I have to take care of myself.

I laid down on my back and allowed the hoodie to fall over my face. Now, it's like I'm in the center of the smell, and I'm back in our bedroom with Ash beside me. However, when I reached my hand out, it was just the cold hard cell floor. I want him back!

"I never should have left. Its just that you wanted me to, and I couldn't disobey your words. I thought that leaving would help us, but you just ended up dead." Suddenly, a little clang sounded on the floor of my cell, and I looked down. I lifted up a small locket, and I recognized it as the one Ash would always wear. When I opened it up, there was a picture of him smiling while I slept in his arms. I guess he's kind of right about me being a cute sleeper.

However, it was his image that drew my attention. He had such genuine smile on his face, and I could even see the slight cringle on his eye corners. Suddenly, I felt a searing pain travel up my spine, and I shouted aloud from the pain. I became aware that the light was forcing the darkness out of my body, and I continued to look at the picture.

I held the locket in a tight grip, and finally the pain ceased. When I looked inward, I was free of the darkness, but there were still remains that would never let me forget. I still felt pain, but it was just the normal kind one would feel after losing a soulmate. A kind of emptiness in the middle of my chest that would serve as a constant reminder. The darkness was still prodding at my head telling me about how he could take away the pain, but I ignored the disturbing presence.

I smiled at the victory, but the tears still poured. Only crazy people cry and smile at the same time, so I guess that makes me insane. I thought about the horrors of the last month, and I swore to myself to never give in to the dark side of my personality again. Finally, I managed to sink into a dreamless sleep, and I longed for the next day when I could see Dan again.