37. Past

Connor's POV

I sat down at his command, but my eyes still couldn't shift away from the dried blood on his face. If I had the will to do it, I would reach out and wipe it off. However, because of recent events, I couldn't. I don't want to lose my fingers today, thanks. I just wish that he would clean it off himself. Then again, he probably knows how much it bothers me, and that's why it's still there. I know that he probably wants to get under my skin now that we are going through so much choppy water.

"It begins with my great grandmother, who fell in love with some human."

"Aren't you a human-"

"Shut your fucking mouth, or I won't continue."

"Got it."

"Their offspring was half-human, half-vampire. The two parents were happy together. That is until my great-grandmother realized that the child was showing more human than vampire. She was upset with the man she married and left him alone to raise the son he had. Devastated by the loss, he raised his son to hunt supernatural beings so that one day he could see the pain in their faces as he had felt. Of course, his child married another human who shared his hate of the universe, and they made even more hate babies.

"That cycle continued for a while until it got to me. My parents were so full of it that they didn't see value in me once I showed signs of a gift. They kicked my baby brother and me out of their house without any hesitation. We were alone, with nowhere else to go. We knew that there would be supernatural people in the woods, but it was the only place we could go. The city streets are dangerous, and I didn't want to be separated from Orion.

"We didn't really meet anyone in the first few years we were there, so we kind of assumed it was safe and let our guard down. Then, someone from your pack randomly patrolled by our cave and captured us. We both spent long, hard years in the underground prisons. I did my best to keep Orion from going insane, but I was doing so myself. It was a horrible situation, and I don't want it for anyone else.

"Anyways, we were finally let out after some event when the locks on our door malfunctioned enough to make a run for it. We went back to the cave together, and I was just trying to keep my little brother from getting hurt. I was following in the steps of my parents as far as the hatred goes. I just wanted to make you feel the same pain that I felt for my whole life. I wished for the stupid fucking supernaturals to realize just how bad it was to be held up in captivity.

"So, when the government came to me with a plan to make all of you pay, I took it right away. We were told to stay in the same cave, but our safety would be guaranteed by people who would watch us. You were not part of my plan. I thought that I could do it without any strings attached, but I ended up being bonded with you. I didn't let that stop my mission, though. Did anyone really think it would?

"I continued to live a double life with you. I never dropped the thought that I was going to end up betraying you in the end. After a while there, I even began to feel as if I really did love you. I know that it's hard to believe that I would hurt you if I did, but I was just keeping my promises. As much as it bugs you to break yours, it tortures me more. Ever since I promised Orion I would keep him safe forever, I never broke one. How could I when I was holding one so close to my chest?

"Anyways, when the time came that they wanted to know the information, I told them. I wasn't aware how many people important to your culture were there. In a way, that made me feel prouder about myself. I maximized the destruction that was directed to the people who left me feeling so cold and alone. It was really nothing personal to you; it was more directed at your father.

"After that, I got the pleasure of watching all of you trapped away just like I was. However, I soon found that I wasn't happy anymore with the decision I made. I continued to damn myself farther than ever before because that was all I knew how to do. The day that I got so fed up that I left Larp all alone... I'll never forget that day. I broke my promise to him that Papa would never hurt him... I regret it greatly, but there isn't a way for me to change it now."

When I was sure he was done talking, I opened my mouth to ask a question. Of course, it took a lot more effort than it should have to get words out, but I did manage. "How much of you is a vampire? I'm just wondering because a lot of hybrid humans never get gifts the way that your healing is."

"I am about 1.53% vampire. I don't know how much luck was involved in getting my ability, but that isn't the point. I guess that at some point, someone in my family tree had it. I was just the lucky generation to get it from them."

"How did you manage to betray me even with a bond?"

"Our soulmate bond was connected with only that small percentage of my soul. It wasn't that hard for me to do it as horrible as that may sound."

"Why did you do this to me? I want a real answer this time, not the one you've been giving me the past few times I've asked you."

"As I said, it wasn't personal to you. I wanted everyone to suffer; you just so happened to be in the way."

"Varian, there's a better way than violence."

"Not the way that I see it."

"Orion is dead; he passed away a long time ago from old age. Why are you still doing this?"

"I hate you even more for that. I never wanted to die after Orion because I couldn't live without him. He's my brother, but also my best friend."

"How dare you behave this way. He wouldn't want you to be wreaking havoc on everyone. He would hope that you would live the way he wanted you to live."

"He's the one that convinced me I needed to fight back for what happened to us."

"But he was an innocent kid? How would he even know about violence."

"We were raised in constant turbulence; we were taught how to load a gun at 5. It really isn't that hard to believe that my baby brother could carry negative thoughts. He wanted justice just as much as I did, and we both got it. Now I'm here. So tell me, Connor, do you forgive me yet or not? Because it wasn't my plan for us to be over."