13

Chapter 13 Gin in a Teacup

The next morning was bright and sunny. Truly a lovely day as Lily wolfed down her breakfast, and then pulled Severus out the back door.

"River?" he suggested.

"I want to keep my feet clean at least one day after all of Tunie's hard work," Lily replied, and then tilted her right foot back on its heel and waved her toes about to show off her pedicure.

Severus obligingly gazed down at Lily's foot. She was wearing different sandals than yesterday. "Very nice," he commented, thinking Petunia had something to do with Lily's sandals. If Lily liked them, he liked them.

"How about we go sit under the tree up on the hill?" Lily recommended as an alternative to walking along the river.

Severus shrugged. It hadn't rained lately so the ground would be dry.

"I've been meaning to ask … or maybe tell you, Sev. Uh, Mary and Helen said they were going to play a joke on me and write letters to you this summer. You haven't gotten any from them, have you?"

"No, haven't gotten any. How is it a joke on you if they write to me?"

"My point exactly, Sev. I told them it wouldn't be funny."

"Hmmm"

"Have you gotten letters from anyone yet? I mean, I don't mean to pry, but I've already gotten a few and school's been out less than a month. They must be really bored waiting for their OWL results."

"No."

"Uh … none?"

"No."

"Well, aren't you expecting some?"

"No." Severus stopped and turned to Lily. "I may get a letter once the test results are out. They'll find out what summer assignments they have, and when they finally get to working on them, they'll need help. So maybe late August," he smirked at his calculation. "If I get a letter, I'll show it to you. I know it's pretty boring till we know our schoolwork, but is it so bad that you are dying to know what Evan Rosier is doing over the holiday?"

Lily laughed, "When you put it that way, Sev, I guess I do sound rather desperate."

They walked on in silence as Lily eliminated the possibility that Severus could spend some time at a friend's house. Or at another friend's house.

They sat down side by side with their backs to the trunk of a large shady elm on a modest hill that afforded a view of a few backyards including laundry hung out to dry.

Severus began, "In January, we'll be seventeen. Next summer we can apparate places."

"What if we don't pass the test?"

"Apparition's just power and focus. If you don't pass, you can sidealong with me."

"Oh no! You should be saying if you don't pass, I'll sidealong your skinny bum. And then I choose where we're going."

Severus looked at Lily expectantly. "Where are we going?"

"We're going for a seaside holiday, Sev." When Lily saw his lack of enthusiasm, she explained, "You just don't know how much you'll like it yet 'cause you've never been." She leaned back, reached over and tugged on his elbow. "You just need some practice. Lay down."

Severus acquiesced and lay on his back. "Too shady?" he questioned, looking up at the leaves overhead.

"Got to take it in small steps. If we were really at the shore, we'd have brought some suncream."

"But of course."

After five minutes of laying in silence, Severus turned his head to look at Lily. "I might not be able to show you all my letters. I can read parts to you of the ones you can't see."

"Secret Slytherin stuff you need to hide?" Lily asked teasingly, but in her heart she feared that it could be the rumored connection between Slytherin house and He Who Must Not Be Named … the future death eaters club.

Severus snorted, "Right." He rolled onto his side and put an arm under his head. "My housemates can be kind of disgusting. They might write to brag about some of their exploits."

Lily turned on her side to face Severus. "Hurting people?"

"No … girls," he clarified with a note of irritation. "I guess they could hurt them, but I don't think that'd be worth boasting about. Is that what the Gryffindors like to do?"

"Uh … I don't know what they do, but it's a relief I suppose that you don't hear that kind of stuff from them."

Severus's free hand joined with Lily's between them. For a long time, they lay on their sides staring into each other's eyes. The breeze picked up and rustled the leaves overhead, creating brief patches of sun on their faces.

Lily sensed Severus had something to say. His breathing was still deep and slow, but he had started blinking more rapidly in advance of slightly creasing his forehead in thought.

His forehead smoothed, and then he softly said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For … for Hogwarts. I made it sound better to you than it really is."

"Hogwarts is brilliant, Sev."

"Yes … and no. There is brilliant parts, but then there's bad parts too."

"I love it there. I wouldn't want to go to school anywhere else."

Severus nodded his head slowly. "Well, it's only two more years."

Lily waited for Severus to elaborate with some sort of explanation, but he lapsed back to silently staring into her eyes. She wondered if his eyes were a different color other than the impenetrable black if there would be an answer there.

The wind increased as they lay together beneath the tree. When a gust blew Severus's hair over his face, Lily unclasped her hand from his, and pushed it out of his eyes.

While Lily's hand was still over his face, Severus spoke again. "Next year, when we go for our apparition tests, Lily, can we schedule them on the same day at the Ministry and then get married?"

"Uh … what … where ... I mean this is so sudden, Sev. We haven't even … uh... gone to Hogsmeade together yet." Lily's face got red at the graceless response to what seemed like a real proposal of marriage, knowing Sev. Where did that come from? And why would he even ask when they hadn't ever even kissed or gone on a date? They'd have another year of school after that, no place to live, no money, no jobs … it was insanity! Why couldn't he talk about normal stuff?

Severus's brow creased again as he processed Lily's reply. "Right. Hogsmeade. I suppose I should get permission to go there then."

"You haven't?" Lily asked, racking her brain to try to figure out if Severus was being sarcastic about her rejection.

"I didn't bother because I have no pocket money. That's all they do in Hogsmeade, isn't it? Honeydukes, Zonko's, and a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?"

Somehow when Severus described a day in Hogsmeade, it sounded shallow and smacked of hollow pleasures. If Lily realized this earlier, she … she would what? Severus wasn't likely to want her to buy him a butterbeer. "Yup, that's pretty much it. But if you were with me, then we'd be on a date."

"All right then."

At that point, the rain began. It started small, with the sound of drops hitting the leaves overhead. They both sat up and looked overhead, and then there was a sudden deluge that clustered on the leaves so larger drops fell onto them in their leafy shelter. If the day had been hotter, it would have been refreshing. However, it wasn't that hot and the rain chilled Lily who was in a halter top, short and sandals.

Lily stood, and was puzzled when Severus did not do likewise. He was pulling his jumper over his head, and then thrusted it towards Lily. Severus's undershirt looked like it had been rescued from the bin, used as a rag, then thrown in the bin again before he put it on.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked.

"You need it."

"No, put it back on."

"You need it more than me."

"Where are you going to hide your wand?" Lily asked since Severus was now holding it, rather than hiding it in his shirt.

"Why are you being so difficult?" Severus asked while swinging his wet hair in front of his face.

"Why are you?" Lily snapped back at him.

"Because I wore something under my shirt today, and the flowers printed on my underpants are not visible through my wet shorts."

Lily grabbed the jumper and hissed, "You could have cast a drying charm on me."

"What good would that have done? It's coming down in buckets. Besides, I try to restrict my magic to the immediate vicinity of my house so I don't get caught."

"That's just so convenient, isn't it?" she snarled in reply. Severus being right did not cool Lily's temper. Yes, her temper, that's why her face felt so hot and her cheeks were red, and for no other reason than Severus could be such a git. He's just lucky that his borrowed jumper was stretched out enough to reach to mid-thigh. Damn lucky, Lily thought, as she stomped off.

Following Lily, Severus realized that they were going in the wrong direction to return to Lily's house. He caught up to her as she pondered how best to ford across a swift-moving stream that had sprung into being because the street's drains were clogged with garbage.

"Where are you going?"

"You owe me a drying charm, Sev."

"It's still raining," he answered in confusion because he didn't understand why he would dry Lily outside Spinner's End, and then walk back to her house and get wet again.

Lily didn't know why Severus had to state the obvious. He looked wretched with his wet hair and his undershirt soaked against his body. Since the dark circles of his nipples were clearly visible through his thin shirt, Lily could only imagine what she looked like without his jumper.

"The house on the end?" Lily asked when they reached his street.

Severus nodded.

"Front or back door?"

"For what?"

"It's my turn to visit your home," Lily replied like it was perfectly natural, even though she'd never been in his house in all these years. If Petunia didn't want Severus over their place, Lily would come over here for a bit. She wasn't afraid of his parents.

Lily reached the front door of the narrow, one room wide house typical in this area and realized Severus was still in the street, a couple houses back. His arms were wrapped across his chest, and he was staring at Lily through the rain.

As far as Lily knew, Severus's mother was always home. The only time Lily remembered seeing her was at King's Cross for their first year departure to start school. She knocked on the door and waited. There was no noise inside the house that Lily could hear over the rain and the rushing water out of the roof gutters. The heavy faded curtain in the window near the door did not move. Lily determined that it had not moved in some time because there was a heavy layer of dust visible on its surface. A further sign of poor housekeeping was the sizable collection of dead flies visible on the sill inside the house.

Lily was contemplating the flies and the symbolic significance that there was no escape from Spinner's End, when Severus joined her on the step. Contradicting the evidence, he muttered, "My mother is home."

Severus ran his hand down the front of the door and then opened it enough to stick his head in. "Come on," he hissed as he grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her in behind him.

sOnce Severus shut the door behind them, it was dark with a faint line of light at the bottom of the dusty drape. He was still holding her hand and pulled Lily along. There was a definite odor in the air. Lily could only guess that it was stale vomit, and used the hand that Severus wasn't holding to pull the neck of the soaked jumper up over her nose.

There was a pause as Severus opened a door and then closed it once they went through. Still dark and still smelly were the only things Lily perceived before Severus whispered, "Stairs," and she felt him move forward and pull her from an upward angle as he went up the first riser, leading the way.

At the top, another door was opened and Lily could once again see. The weak light leaking through was yellowish from the heavy layer of dirt caked on the single, thin window. It was a small bedroom with a slender bed against the left hand wall, a school trunk turned on its end to fit, a tall skinny dresser, and an old-fashioned washstand lined up on the opposing wall. Severus pulled Lily further into the room, closed the door, and then slid a thick metal bolt into place, locking the door from the inside.

Lily felt an irrational fear when that bolt clunked into place. Severus was allowed into her bedroom to play (at first), and a few years ago, her parents had asked her to keep the door open or ajar whenever he was in there with her. It hadn't been a problem, and she had never bothered to mention that rule to Severus. It seemed rather silly to be thinking about her parents' rules under another roof.

Severus turned away from the door and waved his wand to cast a drying charm on Lily, then himself. He continued to stand with his back to the door, watching Lily.

Lily's only perceived blessing was the lack of vomit smell in this room. Somehow she knew that if she mentioned it in order to complement Severus that he wouldn't be amused, but that was really the only positive thing she could think of so she remained silent, turning to move closer to the window and looking outside. It was still a downpour, and Spinner's End looked miserable and filthy.

At least there were no dead flies on this window sill, she thought, and turned her glance to the right to the washstand next the window. Initially Lily had thought it odd that an old washstand was crammed into a room this small, but now she realized that Severus actually utilized it. There was a removable, ivory-colored, chipped porcelain basin that had some visible stained cracks. The basin was currently empty, and there was no visible source of water to fill it. There was a brownish yellow hunk of soap covered in dried bubbles laying atop a discolored section of the waist-high wooden stand that had a hole in the middle to hold the basin in place. The small hand towel and flannel could probably have been called dinghy years ago. Her mother had old toothbrushes that she used to clean grout that looked less worn than Severus's, and being life-long user of toothpaste, it wasn't until today that Lily discovered there was an alternate product called tooth powder.

At some point during her inspection, Severus had moved to sit on the edge of the bed. His gaze was concentrated straight ahead on the top of his trunk. Lily went over and sat next to him. She looked towards him and then focused her attention to the shiny red burn scar inside his left elbow. It was old, and she remembered she had first seen it before they even went to Hogwarts.

Things weren't adding up. Petunia, the source of all neighborhood gossip, admitted grudgingly that Severus's father did work. So how could this level of poverty be explained? Lily didn't even know people in Britain still lived like this. And here she was thoughtlessly demanding admittance to his house … like there hadn't been years of clues. She couldn't even blame Severus because putting these conditions in words, well it would sound like he was a liar, wouldn't it? And it's not something he could brag about.

Lily gave herself a mental pep talk – There was no other way out of this. She was going to have to lie like a rug. Suck it up like a Gryffindor, and lie well enough to fool a Slytherin. Yup, piece of cake -

Gushing feigned enthusiasm, Lily observed, "This is perfect, Severus!"

Severus's sudden dark glare at her said it all. He thought Lily was a nutter.

"We can do all the practical work for our summer assignments here, and even read ahead and try some new spells out. It's just so unfair that students with magical parents get to practice over the holiday."

Slowly Severus spelled out what he thought Lily was saying. "You want to sneak into my bedroom to practice schoolwork?"

"Yeeeesss, but it sounds kind of … y'know, when you say it like that. Do you think your mum will be alright with it? Maybe she can give us a couple pointers on the trickier wand movements?"

The 'you're a nutter' look was back as he answered, "I don't think so."

"You think she'd be that strict about you having a friend over?"

"Oh no. I meant 'no' to the foolish wand waving. I don't think she'll care if you're in the house as long as we don't disturb her."

"You'll ask then?" Lily pressed. She could only imagine the trouble she'd be in if she snuck some strange boy into the Evans' house and up to her bedroom.

"Yeah. It might have to wait until I find her in a receptive mood to such a proposal."

"All right."

"And you'll have to get out of the house quick if my father comes home early. He's predictable, and loud enough that we'll have some warning." Severus shifted uncomfortably then said, "I have to go out back. Slide the bolt after I leave the room. I'll knock when I return."

"Out back?"

"The yard," he replied with a vague hand gesture towards the back of the house.

When Lily scrunched her face in confusion, Severus elaborated, "Your mother served me three cups of tea earlier."

That got the lightbulb to shine over Lily's head. No wonder Severus thought she was a nutter for calling his house perfect.

After Severus slipped out and Lily rebolted the door, she looked through his dresser drawers. He'd probably expect it, knowing Severus, so she'd hate to disappoint him. Obviously the King of Slytherin was too smart to keep his secret plans to take over the world with his undies, but with Severus, Lily knew that sometimes he would do the unexpected. Getting into the spirit of her imaginary game, Lily looked under the dresser, bed and washstand too before she heard Severus's knock.

Lily imitated the fat lady and asked, "Password?"

"Te Amo" was Severus's reply. Lily didn't recognize that as a spell, could it be a potion or ingredient?

When he came in, Severus asked, "May I have my jumper back, please?" He continued talking as he took some parchment out along with a quill and ink. "My mother's not completely bladdered yet that she'd believe you shared my keen fashion sense. She's lurking in the kitchen so I might as well see if I can get her to grunt out a 'yes'. If she doesn't today, I can ask her again tomorrow."

Lily glanced at her halter top self-consciously to make sure it was completely dry, before moving next to Severus to see what he was writing out on top of his dresser under the veiled pretense of returning his jumper. When she realized that he was writing out a letter regarding Hogsmeade, she rested her chin on his left shoulder. On the bottom, he printed clearly 'Eileen Snape' and then drew a horizontal line above it for the signature.

Once the ink was capped and the quill wiped clean, Severus turned his head slightly to press his cheek against Lily's. With a sigh, he brushed his hand against hers and asked, "Ready?"

Lily responded by stepping back, giving him some elbow room to put his shirt back on.

Severus unbolted the door, opened it, cast a lumos, and stood aside to let Lily out onto the landing, before shutting the door and taking hold of her hand. When the door closed, the surrounding darkness and silence combined with the smell took over Lily's imagination to the extent that she thought Severus' lumos shrunk significantly in response. He led her back down the stairs and through that front room that had the door that opened onto the street. In the dim light of the spell, Lily saw a couple pieces of furniture and books on shelves. She was trying not to look at the floor because she suspected the source of the smell was getting closer.

The sitting room was actually small because they were already at the next door. Severus pushed it open while silently noxing his wand.

Two words immediately came to Lily's mind – Holy … Crap. She could see because the back of the kitchen had windows trying to cast some light on the dark wood surfaces. With the rain, there wasn't much light, but it was better that there was not strong light in this room. The only clear area of floor was where the door swung open, and from the way Severus turned around and put his hands on Lily's shoulders, it was clear this is where he wanted her to remain standing. The floor and horizontal surfaces were piled with empty bottles. Apparently all the same from what Lily could see. Something called Pimms No. 1. That might be adding to the different smell of this room. There was a tainted antiseptic clinging to the stale vomit miasma.

Loudly, Severus addressed the person seated at the table, "Mother."

The dark head of tangled and matted long, black hair moved slightly, and a sound of a leaking tire started, "Ssssss ..."

Rather than torturing both the speaker and listeners, Severus answered to his barely started name, "Yes."

Severus moved close to his mother, and removed a tea cup from her hand, placing it out of her reach on the table. He then put down the Hogsmeade permission letter, inked the quill, and slowly instructed, "I need you to sign this."

His mother did not take the quill so he put it in her hand and assisted her with the signature.

After recapping his ink, Severus found a bottle with a bit of brown liquid remaining in it and topped off the tea cup, before putting it back in his mother's hand. He immediately lost her attention because she turned her head back to its original position to stare out the window.

"Mother," he repeated. This time he snapped his fingers just in front of her face before she noticed him, and he quickly replied, "Yes."

He pointed at Lily, said, "That …," and waited till his mother turned to look at where he indicated, " … is Lily Evans."

Lily couldn't see Mrs. Snape's face clearly because her hair was just an awful mess. She had Severus's dark eyes, but from a distance of just six feet away, they looked lifeless.

Severus slowly continued, "From school. She wants to …," Mrs. Snape turned away again, "... practice magic during the summer holiday here. Yes?"

He waited about fifteen seconds before he snapped his fingers in her face again, and repeated, "Yes?"

As he brought his fingers up to snap a third time, there was a sharp nod. Before turning away from her, Severus spent a moment looking around his mother's immediate area, and then stepped over the bottles to return to Lily.

Lily fought hard against nausea due to the smell, and tried not to let anything show on her face.

Severus did not linger in the kitchen, and led Lily back through the sitting room to the front door. The rain had let up but it was still quite grey out. He exited the house with her, and said, "You should let your parents know that you are going to be entering my house before you visit again."