30

Chapter 30 Poor Taste

Healer Pye declared Severus recovered from his concussion shortly after lunch, and told him that someone from Hogwarts would be over to collect him this afternoon.

Lily's healer came by a bit later, after Severus spent some time in the loo, getting his clothes from yesterday cleaned before he changed into them. He also gave Lily a handful of knuts and a few sickles for newspapers, suggesting that she might also want the evening edition for a couple days.

The prognosis for Lily was that she may be able to leave St. Mungo's tomorrow. Her shoulders needed a bit more work for the soreness she still felt, but their appearance now was as good as they'd get. After seeing Mary's condition, Lily didn't feel she had a right to complain, but with magic, both of them should look a hell of a lot better.

Severus looked at her back afterwards and suggested dittany might lessen the redness, but with the dragonpox not faded, the coloration was impossible to guess. With the wounds being cursed, it would not be a simple matter to improve their appearance. They could look in the library and see if there were any ideas. Wizards had been attacked by werewolves for years, but as far as Severus knew, if there was a way to improve the appearance of the scars, St. Mungo's should be employing it.

Trying to make light of it, Lily joked, "I guess I'll need new bathing suits and summer clothes. Don't you need to get a bathing suit too?"

"What for?"

"For our seaside holiday this summer."

"I remember you said you wanted us to go, but I don't recall anything about swimming. I won't need one, but whatever you'd like to do is fine with me, Lily."

"You don't need to know how to swim to wear a bathing suit. Everyone wears them on the beach."

"Not me. I don't like being undressed in front of others."

"Sev, it's not like when they … everyone wears them. Little boys all the way up to real old men."

"I will only make a concession to wear a short-sleeved shirt."

"You'll change your mind once you see. You should have one. Is there a wizard beach, or do they just mix in with muggles?"

"I don't know. I can't recall any of the Slytherins talking about more than a cottage with a lovely view of the water."

"I think we can blend in with muggles."

"I'm sure we could."

"Actually, I do remember some of the blokes wearing colorful shirts with their swimsuits, with buttons up the front and with short sleeves. I'll have to keep my eyes out for something like that for you," Lily said, without revealing that to Severus that she was thinking of a Hawaiian shirt. There had to be one in existence that he didn't find objectionable.

"Will I have some input into that choice?"

Lily shrugged and airily said, "Not if you're going to be difficult."

"I won't disagree with you, Lily, until I have an idea what you mean, but undressed from the waist up in public is out of the question."

"Do you find my summer clothes offensive, Severus?"

"No, I'm talking about my personal preference for myself."

"We can try to fatten you up a bit first."

Severus sighed. Although this conversation took Lily's mind off herself and her girlfriends, it was rather pointless. Either way she meant this, either planning her holiday that was months away or some ploy to get him undressed was inappropriate at this time. Although some people drifted through life with a 'better them than me' attitude when something unfortunate happened, Severus had not considered Lily one of them. Had her ire burned itself out until she saw the next newspaper?

"Well?" Lily asked, when her friend didn't reply.

"It's hard for me to concentrate on something that seems so far away."

For Lily, it was even longer now that Severus brought up that she may not see her family till June. That's why she was already wishing it was here already. She asked, "Are you going to be all right, going back to school without any of us from last night?"

"What do you propose? Should I trot out of here and find my way to the train station to head home?"

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

"I don't know what you mean, Lily. What choice do I have?"

Lily stopped herself in time before the old adage 'we all have choices' flew out of her mouth. Unless she caused Severus a significant injury that would take time to heal, he had to leave St. Mungo's. Someone from the school was coming to collect him, and if it was anyone competent, they wouldn't leave without him, even if he left to hike to the train station this very moment.

"I'm simply concerned," Lily explained.

"Hopefully something happened at the school. I can't see parents willing to leave their children at risk if all that self-serving idiot does is hand out more detentions. Parkin was Gryffindor's quidditch captain. If she wasn't safe, no one is."

"Where would they go?"

"I suppose they could try to transfer to another school, but I'm not sure if that's ever done. I don't recall any students transferring to Hogwarts since we've been there."

"Which other school is closest?"

"I'm not sure. They're also unplottable so I just have a general idea. At Beauxbatons, they speak French, and Durmstrang may be in Bulgaria."

"Bulgaria? Isn't there another school where they speak English?"

"Not our English, but there's a school in Australia, Canada and there might be a couple schools in the United States. I don't remember which country in South America has their school. If I had to pick a school for myself on a whim, maybe Egypt."

"Why?"

"It's older than Hogwarts. That's got to be worth something."

"Hogwarts would do something first, wouldn't they?"

"I don't know. Whenever I've gotten my hopes up that perhaps the Marauders have gone too far, they haven't gotten punished, or real punishment. Taking points when the whole house mocks the point system is nothing to them."

"McGonagall changed that."

"What good did it do? Don't they sneak out of detention anyway?"

"Pettigrew was only caught that one time."

"If Pettigrew sneaks out, I'm sure the others do."

"Probably."

"Will you write me?"

"Aren't you coming back tomorrow?"

"We won't know till then, Sev. If you write tonight, I may get your letter tomorrow morning."

"I don't know what I'll find out in a couple of hours."

"Use your Slytherin cunning. Trade information if you have to."

"What information?"

"You were there. Any nincompoop that reads The Prophet knows they're hiding something."

"What if I don't want to talk about it?" Severus replied. Unlike his Gryffindor foes, he had nothing in common with them. Rehashing 'victories' wasn't in his nature, especially when last night did not leave him feeling the least bit victorious. He did not want to press whatever newfound luck he had that allowed him to escape unharmed with Lily alive. Strutting around as a defeater of werewolves would put a big target on his back.

"Think of it as a plot to foil the Ministry's obliviators."

"That's no laughing matter."

Lily was getting nowhere with Severus. If they were split up, and she went back to Hogwarts first, she'd write to let him know what had happened there, rather than letting him just stroll in unawares. Of course, Lily would be able to find out more in Gryffindor house. Pettigrew would be broadcasting it in their common room for everyone to hear.

She reached out, and Severus took her hand. Lily was afraid, but did not want to show it. She didn't want to admit that other students would try to kill any of them. It was not an accident. Helen was dead, and it wasn't from falling off her broom to smash into the ground. She was viciously torn apart, and a boy from their house set up the death trap.

Even though he hadn't meant it for Helen, Sirius Black didn't like her and made no secret of it. Would he just shrug his shoulders, plaster a cocky smirk on his face, and hope to have better luck next time? Would Dumbledore allow Black to have a next time? If not Black, what about Potter? He was a bullying, possibly equally murderous, bastard too, who also did not like Helen Parkin. Pettigrew … well, Pettigrew was a lot of talk and inspired the younger Gryffindors to imitate their heroes. Pettigrew by himself was nothing much. And finally, Lupin. Well, Lupin stayed out of the fighting, ready to provide their alibi if they were caught out of bounds. But Lily had the true measure of Remus Lupin. He was a callous abuser of rules too. She'd never forget how he said he returned for the Hogsmeade weekend after his grandmother was so sick that he needed to go home. He may pretend he was the nice one, but Lupin was as shallow as the others.

It was while Lily was in this dark frame of mind that Headmaster Dumbledore entered their hospital room. He pleasantly said, "Ah, here you are together. I just finished visiting with the MacDonalds down the hall."

Neither Severus or Lily said anything in response. Lily glared at his periwinkle robes with matching hat and shoes with lavender sparkling moons and stars, including a silver cresent moon dangling from the tip of his hat. Even if Lily had such a fine selection of robes, she would have chosen something a bit more somber to visit students attacked by a werewolf. The projected levity of his attire was insulting.

Severus did not care what Dumbledore wore. It was constructed to draw attention to him, which is exactly why Severus paid it no mind. It went with Slughorn's crap, dress like you are important and people will think you are important. Severus heard it, but he had no options to dress important. His father's old clothes were all he had in addition to his frequently targeted school uniforms. Though he failed to see how fancy pajamas were supposed to command respect, unless the viewer made the assumption that the wearer's daytime garb was equally grand. It was all an act to cover up nothing of importance would be said, and even less action would be taken.

Undeterred by their lack of greeting, Albus noted they were holding hands. This time Miss Evans was in bed, and Mr. Snape was her visitor. With the dragonpox, he may have overlooked this connection which led to the interesting combination of three Slytherin lads with three Gryffindor lasses last night, working together as a team. The disease had been explained due to their homes being so close, but perhaps it was something more. Atlas's theory about the spell put them in closer proximity, and Albus was now positive that Severus Snape was somehow important. This was the second attempt on his life in three, maybe four, months.

"How are you this afternoon, Miss Evans?"

Rather than settling for a polite response that conveyed that she was fine, Lily answered, "One of my friends was ripped apart. My best friend picked up the pieces of her body. My other girlfriend had her wand hand bitten off, is definitely a werewolf now, and may not be able to come back to school. Both of them had big plans for the future, and now they don't.

"I may be a werewolf. I'm sixteen. I feel horrible. Even if I'm not a werewolf, I will see that beast in my mind for the rest of my life. The scars on my shoulders, they're cursed, so they'll always be there even when I'm dead and cold."

Lily thought Severus was signaling his support by the slight tightening of his hand. If he wanted to warn her to be quiet, he would squeeze it harder.

"I'll have to see what I can do."

"See what you can do? Have you done anything yet?"

"Hogwarts is working closely with Magical Law Enforcement. They already have Remus Lupin, who was the werewolf."

Together Severus and Lily repeated, "Lupin?"

Severus backed off. If someone was going to be impudent, a Gryffindor would get further with Dumbledore. After a glance at Severus, Lily continued, "Did you know?"

"Yes, I feel Hogwarts should be open to all students, including muggleborns too."

Lily ignored his hint that she might not have been enrolled, and continued, "Why was he just left loose? Doesn't he need to be confined for safety?

"He was."

"No, he wasn't. He was loose in that building, and which staff member was assigned to keep watch on him? An unsupervised, unfettered werewolf at the end of a secret passage is what we walked into."

"A werewolf is unable to leave through the whomping willow by itself."

"What makes you say that? From what I saw, he could take quite a beating and keep going. The whomping willow wouldn't have stopped it, if it was determined to get out. And why is Sirius Black sending other students in there to get killed by his pet werewolf? You say it couldn't do anything by itself, but Black's sending it unwitting victims. He was taking advantage of your laxness."

"I agree he was. Mr. Lupin's roommates had investigated his disappearance each month, found out, and Mr. Lupin did not report it. Even he could not have imagined how his friend would abuse that trust."

Severus fought to keep his lip from lifting into a sneer. Abuse of trust? Lupin was as guilty as Black, if he knew in advance that Potter, Black and Pettigrew knew where he was put away, and how remiss the school was in protecting anyone from getting to him. Lily was right, there should have been a staff member with him, and Lupin should not have had run of that house and tunnel. The whomping willow wouldn't have stopped a werewolf if he decided he liked the smell of Hagrid's cooking, or saw a rabbit or female student hopping across the lawn.

"I could imagine it. What more did they need to do to prove to Lupin that they are untrustworthy, liars and bullies? They attack students, prefects, muggles and even a teacher. He was with them, watching the show with the rest of their admirers," Lily declared. Was she supposed to feel some pity for Lupin? Surely he knew what he was capable of as a werewolf? The whole reason why werewolves were not to be persecuted was they were supposed to show a beyond reasonable degree of safety towards others. Lupin may be sixteen, but if he wanted to throw his life away for a bit of fun with the other lads, he shouldn't have been so selfish as to have no thought for his fellow students.

"Mr. Lupin is regretting his degree of trust. His trial has been scheduled, and it is likely he will be sent to Azkaban."

"And Black?"

"His family's solicitor had him released to his parents, however Magical Law Enforcement continues to build a case against him. At the very least, he is expelled from Hogwarts."

"He should be punished as severely as Lupin," Lily insisted.

Lily's moral outrage was properly placed, but Severus knew that Black didn't need school. He didn't need NEWTs to find employment. If the Ministry let him out the door so quickly, they were already in the process of losing all their notes that this even happened. With Dumbledore favoring Black so much at school, it was unlikely he'd do anything as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. They had Lupin to take the blame, even if he was a fellow Gryffindor. He had heard Gryffindors misdirect blame for years now. Black never admitted anything, even when caught red-handed.

"It's in the hands of the Ministry now. Messrs. Potter and Pettigrew have been suspended, and will return to the school at the beginning of December."

"What was their part in this?"

"Mr. Black informed them about his plan, but they failed to report it. Since they didn't know until after you were attacked, they would have been unable to save you."

Lily's brow furrowed and her mouth opened slightly. Black was a maniac, but Potter and Pettigrew went along with it? If they didn't know they'd be too late to get help, the bum rags should have done something. They were just a big a problem as Black. Wasn't there some sort of legal precedent that if you know a crime is going to be committed, you have a responsibility to report it? In addition to helping the possible victims, they'd have also helped Lupin not kill someone. Another two that Lupin shouldn't have trusted.

If Lily wasn't sitting in bed, she'd need to sit down. She was feeling faint at the thought that all four of the Marauders were so bloodthirsty and uncaring. Black sent others to their deaths, Lupin knew that the other three knew that he was left where anyone could reach him, and Potter and Pettigrew thought it perfectly fine. And the little lads of Gryffindor thought they were their heroes.

"You are rather quiet again, Mr. Snape."

To be annoying, Severus nodded. What did he need to say? He saw it written on Lily's face. It was sad to see her overcome with the realization of how people were, but she had ample opportunity to observe them, along with Severus telling her they were no good. Dumbledore never listened to a word he said in the past anyway so his words would not have added anything to Lily's outrage.

"You were quite the hero I hear. Two life debts?"

There was no keeping the sneer off his face this time. He snarled, "I don't need Evans to owe me anything, and MacDonald has enough to worry about."

Lily blinked. She did owe Severus a life debt. She could feel it in her heart. Was it his choice or hers how she would repay it?

Albus got a very clear picture that went with Severus's denial. He thought Albus only lifted a finger to get others indebted to him, and may arrange their life-threatening situations. Where did Severus's anger and false impression of him come from? He heard rumors of Tom recruiting in Slytherin house, although Horace assured him they were false. It was confusing. Snape and Evans were not purebloods, and wasn't it Tom that wanted Snape eliminated? Albus wanted to protect him and all his students.

"I didn't mean that. I'm sure your reasons were altruistic, my boy."

Severus continued to glower. 'My boy' again. What a pompous ass. What would be next … 'son'? Tobias put more affection into his insults of Severus than Albus Dumbledore did with his false kindness. Dumbledore had a huge part in what happened last night, even if he wasn't physically present. By this afternoon, he'd say 'oh well', and sit down for his sugary banquet with Slughorn and continue planning which parties they'd attend along with what title or award Dumbledore could win next. Now that Dumbledore won Spella Weekly's 'Britain's Best Dressed Wizard Award' again, it was probably time to see if Which Broomstick would sponsor a custard eating contest.

When Severus resumed his silent vigil of Miss Evans, Dumbledore could feel he was hostility at both him and … Horace, but the reason was not clear. Albus had a sneaking suspicion it may involve the Ministry's investigation into physical abuse at Hogwarts. Still, both Horace and Poppy sounded very matter of fact that the boy regularly saw the school nurse for ailments and jinxes, but with the high degree of mischief at the school, someone had stolen pages out of his record and substituted a forged note from Horace. Poppy was quite embarrassed that the incomplete file had been turned over to St. Mungo's in the early stages of her dragonpox crisis. If he was certain of one thing, Poppy was selfless when it came to the welfare of the students.

"Well, I suppose we should be going. Do you have any bags, Mr. Snape?"

"No."

"We can apparate from the lobby."

"I'm sixteen."

"No problem. I can bring you along," Albus replied warmly. Students always found that to be a treat.

"No, you won't. I'll floo to Hogsmeade and walk," Severus replied. What kind of fool did Dumbledore take him for? Could apparate them into the North Sea, and then pop away to his tea party, leaving him to drown or die of exposure.

"We could floo directly into my office, my boy."

"If you insist," Severus snarled. If they could floo directly into the castle, why would apparating to the gates and walking up have been the first offer? He didn't want to spend time getting fresh air and sunshine combined with whatever small talk shit Dumbledore wanted to impart during their stroll.

Lily did receive a letter from Severus the next morning. Since he felt they got the more important facts from Dumbledore, he described how the students appeared. Overall, they were angry. Since none of the Marauders were at school, they could openly show it without fear of reprisal. Severus was not sure how the Gryffindors overall were taking the death of their quidditch captain. He thought the girls were showing their grief, but he wasn't sure if the boys were being stoic or quietly supporting their heroic examples until they returned.

Regulus Black and Barty Crouch, Jr. were opposites on what they thought should happen with Black, Lupin, Potter and Pettigrew. Rather than letting his personal feelings influence him, Barty was positive his father would not allow such a barbarous act go unpunished. Regulus felt that his brother would not get anything severe because 'Blacks did not go to Azkaban'.

Lily felt that Severus's letter was too short. Knowing him, he had probably retreated to the Slytherin dungeons as soon as possible. At least he kept his sarcasm in check, and kept it neutral. There was not a single insult, not even of the Gryffindor lads.

The Daily Prophet did report Remus Lupin as the werewolf, but rather than speculating on him being a student at Hogwarts, easily accessed by other students, the paper rehashed Helen Parkin's unfortunate death. Barnabas Cuffe again. If Lily had not made up her mind to be a healer, she'd give Cuffe a run for his money. Why didn't wizards have responsible and investigative journalists? Female journalists looking to unearth a good story were Lily's favorite heroines on television.

After she visited with Mary, Lily was cleared by her healer to leave St. Mungo's. Prof. McGonagall came to fetch her, and they flooed back, without any suggestion of apparating.

James's parents were attacking him together, and then taking turns so they could rest. James wasn't given that luxury. He understood what the were saying, but until this week, no one's life had been in danger.

He felt their disappointment and honestly tried to evaluate every decision and prank he had made since he first went to Hogwart's. James realized that Sirius and Peter were big factors, but he had no good reason to act so callously towards others. He still wanted to make exceptions. Slytherins, Death Eaters, users of the Dark Arts … all in one person, Severus Snape. Snape was far from being a helpless victim.

His mother ruthlessly dissected James's motivations. How is a first year student a Death Eater and using the dark arts? What did he cast at James? What did James see him cast? Who had he injured, other than James and his friends?

His father also attacked the Slytherin prejudice. Fine wizards emerged from that house. Barty Crouch, Sr. was as ambitious as they come, but a dark wizard and Death Eater? Never. Anyone who met him knew he hated the dark arts with a passion.

All James could come up with was that he and his parents would agree to disagree. Though they presented the oddest argument to close the topic. If this Snape boy and the other Slytherins were users of the Dark Arts and about to become Death Eaters in a couple years, why did Lupin survive meeting them? The three of them were unharmed and capable of casting spells. The Killing Curse would have ended their encounter with Lupin, and it was likely that any of the girls that were still conscious would agree to their story to dispose of the body and claim the werewolf had run off.

It would have been convincing to James, but his parents had never met Snape. He was a freaking, friendless oddball up to the greasy roots of his hair in the dark arts. If he didn't cast the Killing Curse, he had a reason.

Despite the Snape issue, all this introspection was doing James a world of good. He was struck with an epiphany. Could Evans not like him because she perceived him to be an insensitive bully? It seemed unlikely because James had everything a girl could want – looks, charm, money, the Potter name, and was an excellent quidditch player.

Lily became overwhelmed when she entered her bedroom. There were only two beds, and all of Mary's and Helen's items were gone. There were no one's else's trunk here but hers, so Lily did not know if there was a reason for the second bed to be here. She threw herself onto her own bed and began crying.

A few of the other girls stopped by during the evening to talk to her. Her fellow Gryffindor ladies were genuinely sad, rather than just displaying anger and vowing revenge, as they had in the past against the Marauders.

By morning, Lily felt she could attend class. It was going to be difficult, but if she'd have to return to class sometime. No time like the present.

She had Transfiguration with Severus and told him about the changes in her room. He listened, but he had no idea why there was still a second bed there, but speculated that maybe another student, perhaps from 5th year, would join her.

Lily had not thought ahead to Divination. Initially she was sitting alone, but two Hufflepuffs joined her. They were polite and only referred to the werewolf attack obliquely by saying that Lily appeared to know what she was doing in this class. It wasn't until the professor said she received full marks and gave her ten points for Gryffindor that she remembered Severus's chart that she had made a few months ago. If Helen and Mary had done each other's chart, would they have had any clue as to what was coming? Lily doubted they'd pinpoint a werewolf attack, but if either of them saw the Grim, they could have exercised more caution.

With the change in weather, Severus and her ate their lunches with their houses before walking to Herbology together. On the way down, he mentioned, "With Rosier and Wilkes out for a while, our room is being used by some of Mulciber's and Avery's friends."

"I think you should tell someone," Lily insisted. Severus was in the midst of those horrible boys.

"About what? They aren't planning anything. There's some rumor that their Dark Lord is the son of a muggle and a squib."

"What?"

"Exactly. It's insulting, but rather juvenile in composition. Oh, and be wary of anyone using that title, Dark Lord, to refer to He Who Must Not Be Named. They are very consistent in its use."

"Why would they even believe something like that? I mean I know they don't care for someone with one muggle parent or grandparent, but then to add a squib?"

Severus shrugged, "From what I overheard, the friends of theirs that have met him say he's got an air of mystery about him so this brings the questions up again."

"None of them have met him?"

"I'm not sure if any of them have. Gibbon claimed that he ate dinner at their house over the summer holiday, but he lies about most anything."

"Are any of them claiming to be Death Eaters?"

"Not near me. Besides, what service could a student do for him? If they spent their time specifically targeting mudbloods ..."

"Sev!"

"What? That's the word, Lily. If they made it obvious they were after non-purebloods then? They don't like half-bloods either, but their hearts really aren't in it when they insult me. They say 'mudbloods' in a specific way, that they don't use with me.

"So I think Dumbledore would eventually get the hint and do something. He may not care about the Marauders attacking students, especially those younger than them, but he'll want to punish Slytherins for being bullies."

"The Headmaster is not supposed to play favorites, Severus. Besides, he's pretty chummy with Prof. Slughorn."

In Herbology, a Ravenclaw joined them at their table. He was one of the fellows that wanted to discuss the Ministry's policy regarding the Unforgivables with Severus. He did not have much to say today, and limited his comments to their Herbology assignment.

After class, Severus caught Lily's elbow. "Let the others go ahead. I forgot to ask you something."

Lily allowed the group to head up to the castle without them, and they slowly walked up.

"Did anyone from the school say what they were going to do next month for you?"

"Um, Prof. McGonagall said that something would be arranged, but not what."

"Find out in advance. If you transform, and they are as lax with you as they were with Lupin … well, you know who pays the price. You will."

"Right," Lily said in a defeated tone. She had written her parents. Severus did have the right idea when he was concerned that if they received some letter from the school or healer, and nothing from her, they'd grow overly concerned. Not that Lily minded them being concerned because that's what parents do, but she didn't want them to worry incessantly about things that were beyond all their control.

She then asked, "Have you given it any thought, Sev?" If the school wanted a werewolf proof bunker, Severus would be the one to devise it.

"Some. Although there's a sort of humaneness to letting a werewolf have some room to run around, I wouldn't consider that shack ideal. I think outside would be better for a werewolf. For long term, maybe a large fenced in area to include things that werewolves enjoy. I haven't spent any time researching that yet.

"However humane, it is ludicrous to allow people free access to it while transformed."

"I agree."

"So for now, since we don't know, I think a simple strong cage. That should be in a secure area of the school that can be sealed off. A simple charm to detect if you leave the room, should trigger sealing that section and also an alarm to either the Headmaster, or someone on the staff that could be bothered to check. Someone should be present down there, in addition to you.

"I also thought about house elves. They have magic, are a line of defense for the students and the school, and can apparate for help."

"Are house elves afraid of werewolves? Can they get lycanthropy?"

"Those are good questions, Lily. I don't know. They are able to defend themselves when given specific orders, and if you do turn and get loose, any magic they use on you would only temporarily damage you."

"What about you, Sev? Can you be with me, outside the cage, I mean?"

"I would like to, but won't you …," Severus stumbled over his words, then corrected himself, "I would not perceive you being unclothed to be a problem. I can overlook that for the reason why we'd be there."

"Unclothed?" Lily asked.

"If you have on clothes when you transform, they'll be ruined. After the moon sets, they'll still be in tatters."

"Oh, right. Um, I guess a cloak or blanket, and then someone can accio it out so I don't rip that up?"

"That should work."

"I guess Prof. McGonagall would not want you in the room with that um ... lack of propriety."

"If guarding you falls solely on McGonagall's shoulders, maybe myself or male staff member can give her a break between moon rise and set so she can get some rest. There's more male staff than female, and I think Pomfrey needs to stay near the Infirmary."

"She can leave. I've seen her eating in the Great Hall."

"I didn't say she couldn't. The students should also be there too during mealtime, but there might be some charm on the door up there that let's her know she had a patient. However, for hours during the night for a few nights per month … and she can't just floo up there and leave you alone, if there's a rule established that you cannot be left unattended."

"People break rules all the time, Sev."

"I know. That's how we ended up with this situation. Barely any thought given to others' safety by putting Lupin in that shack, both by the school and his parents."

"Oh my, I hadn't given them any thought."

"You have to remember, Lily, all those times he was pretending to be going home. Lupin may not have been close to his family at all."

"Hmm. I guess they would have been told by Dumbledore something about where Lupin would be. If it were my son, I'd probably want to see it, before I allowed him to come here."

"You would, but some would just take Dumbledore's word, or there's even a possibility, probably quite slim, that the burden of having their son become a werewolf at such a young age had taken a toll on them. To have someone else take on that burden, might have been a relief."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but gave it some further thought. She understood what Severus was saying. The only thing close she had to that was when her parents were going out for the night while Petunia and her were still young and hired a sitter. But her parents were still the ones responsible for their well-being and needed to select a responsible individual. Did Lupin's parents consider that Dumbledore sounded responsible, but when the time came for him to do the right thing, he'd let them down? Costing them their son.

This had ruined so many people's lives. Sirius Black was the catalyst, but he wouldn't have been as effective if others had cared.

Remus's parents were his visitors, whenever it was allowed. They brought him clothes and cried. His mother did not seem to stop crying. His father tried to be strong, but sometimes even a man cries.

He cried too. Remus couldn't believe he killed Helen Parkin. Well, he did believe it, but couldn't fathom how she met him as a werewolf. He also cried because MacDonald and Evans were infected. A curse he wished upon no one.

Also tearing him apart was the lack of explanation. No letters and no visits from his friends.

His parents tried to tell him that it was his friends who arranged for the other students to unknowingly come upon him, but he could not believe. No, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew would never do such a thing to him.

The Marauders also promised to stick together. His parents had it all wrong. They were not feigning they hardly knew him to stay out of trouble themselves. They wouldn't.

After dinner, Lily agreed to join him in the library. There she confessed to Severus that she did not want to spend time alone this weekend. He agreed that other than meals and past curfew, he'd be more than willing to keep her company.

The bareness of her room weighed upon her. If it were Severus, he'd find the lack of his Slytherin roommates to be paradise. Spinner's End may be a shithole, but he had his own room there with a lock reinforced to the point that his father could not enter without his mother's aid, which was very unlikely.

Together they did homework and a bit of werewolf research. Rather than the normal Defense curriculum, they were now interested in how one lived with the disease or curse. The first person accounts turned out to be the most informative since there was no guide on how to care and feed a werewolf in the family.

It wasn't till Severus mentioned that he accepted that Lily would be craving meat with every meal that she realized she had been devouring Gryffindor lad-sized portions of bacon, sausage, chicken, roast, and whatever had once lived that got within reach of her since she returned to Hogwarts.

"Does that mean I am definitely a werewolf then, Sev?"

"No, Lily. Anyone who gets a cursed wound craves flesh. I … I don't know much about what makes it appetizing, but I'm willing to learn."

"You don't have to eat it for my sake."

"I wasn't, but I should have some idea of how to tell good from bad and how it's prepared properly."

"Oh, well uh ..." Lily thought this line of talk would lead them back to discussion about their future. Together, if Severus was the sole decision maker. "I can learn too. My dad raves about mum's pot roast."

"Between Mrs. Evans and Hogwarts house elves, I wouldn't need to learn anything."

"True," Lily replied brightly, having avoided that sore subject. She wanted Severus'spleasant company, not his argumentative and stubborn self. Since her best friend was not one to be optimistic, Lily was assured by his presumption that she was a werewolf, and therefore was not the least bit put off by it. He was thinking of how her daily life would change, and what they should do when she transformed. Strange as it may be, it was a relief that her one and only deranged marriage proposal had not been withdrawn.

Severus got a little dreamy, and wondered if their house had a bit of land, would they be able to raise animals on it, or would that be too much trouble? Of course, if Lily saw them more as pets, she wouldn't want to eat them and that would defeat the purpose of raising and taking good care of them.

"Did you want to go up to Ravenclaw tower before curfew?" Lily asked, since the librarian was announcing it was closing time.

"All right. Let me just get out these two books. I'll read them tonight to see if there's something they did, that we haven't thought of."

"At least we know now that this fellow's house elves weren't afraid of him."

"Outside of Hogwarts we don't have house elves so we will need to plan beyond June."

"Yes," Lily agreed, fervently hoping she was not a werewolf. Was there a way to buy a house elf? Lily didn't necessarily want it for housework, but it sounded like an excellent safety measure.

Although they left the library hand in hand, both were alert to their surroundings. The four Gryffindor Marauders were not the only dangerous students in the school. As they got closer to Ravenclaw, they did not see any Slytherins or Gryffindors, other than themselves.

They waited till no Ravenclaws were passing before turning off into the side corridor, and following it around to the last window with the night view of Hogwarts.

Severus suggested, "We can sit on one side, with you leaning against me. The sill is wide enough."

Not sure what Severus meant exactly, Lily agreed, "We can give it a try."

He sat, and put his leg against the window and invited Lily to sit directly in front of him, with her back towards him, then brought his other leg up while putting his arms around her. She could feel him all around her. His legs pressed against hers, which were together between his. His chest against her back, and then his arms. Not holding her tightly, but there.

Lily's mind wandered a bit as she looked out the window. Sev's nose was near her ear, and she could hear him breathing. He moved his head to rub his chin against her shoulder. This would be nice, if Lily wasn't distracted by thinking about how close it was. Just behind her lower back or her bum … Lily shifted to try to feel if it was a broomstick or a sleeping snake.

When Severus asked, "What's wrong, Lily?" she felt guilty. He was being nothing but nice and holding her at a time when Lily really wanted to be held, and she was distracted with thoughts about what was in Sev's pants. What was wrong with her? Yes, he really was asking the right question, but Lily had no answer.

"Uh, the stone's a bit uncomfortable."

"Did you want to fold your robe and put it under you?"

"No," Lily replied. She didn't want more layers of fabric between them.

"Did you want to move to another spot on the sill?"

"No, this is fine."

Severus did not say anything more, but raised his hand and ran his fingers through Lily's hair.

Now she knew she was going crazy. Why would this feel so good? Lily sat still in shock, feeling the way he combed her hair with his fingers, and then traced them over her forehead and over her ears before resuming touching her hair and then walking his fingers over her scalp.

Lily raised her hand and touched the side of Severus's face before working her way back to his ear and then his hair. It was still clean. If he had stopped washing it when he changed medicine, Lily would be able to tell by now.

He stopped moving his hand through her hair, and rested it against her head. Severus then pressed the side of his face against hers and dropped his chin so it rested on her shoulder again.

Turning her head slightly, Lily could see Severus had closed his eyes.

He barely did that when they kissed. As Lily tried to figure out if something as simple as this was what Severus wanted, she felt a slight quiver go through him, most noticeably as his knee jerked against her leg. His eyes stayed closed. He initiated this sort of touching. She supposed if he was getting twitchy because he disliked it, Severus would open his eyes to look for an escape route.

Emboldened, Lily turned more.

Severus opened his eyes slowly to look into hers before she finished bringing her lips to his, worrying her tongue between them to gain entrance.

With her body against his, she felt him stiffen briefly before he allowed her in. She luxuriated in the feel of his mouth that she had missed so much. Lily was also trying to think. It was hard because she knew what she wanted to do, but was trying to remember what she believed would drive Severus to insist they stop. For now, his hands were still on her. One resting on her head, but not holding her mouth to his. The other was still on her arm, and also resting loosely.

She didn't want to argue with him. Snogging was so brilliant. Lily could ask him to try something new before he escaped to the dungeons.

All too soon for Lily, Severus slid his hand from Lily's head, giving her shoulder a nudge to signal they should stop.

She did a quick check on the time, before taking his hand and guiding it to her chest. "Touch me here, Sev."

Severus let Lily place his hand where she wanted it. He cooperated by sliding his hand along the side and then gently weighing her breast in the palm of his hand. With her school sweater, over her blouse and then her undergarments, he wasn't sure what she expected to feel.

Severus looked her in the face. There was no look of rapture that the witches in Mulciber's photos faked, but they were naked, at least from the waist up. That had to be closer to what normal people did because he had only noticed his father treat his mother's like handles when he took her from behind. For the most part, his mother stayed dressed.

"This might be better with bare skin," he suggested. Severus lifted his hand upwards onto the front and then rubbed his thumb around. "I'm not feeling where it is through your uniform."

Lily hesitated. It was unusual for Severus to suggest going further, and she knew undressed was crossing the line. Was he asking permission to put his hand inside her shirt? Once they started something like that, Lily would not want to return to Gryffindor. She started to say, "Well ..."

However, Severus had only begun with his thumb caressing her. He let it slide a little higher, and then lightly pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. They both knew he found the spot when Lily gasped in surprise.

Severus did not let go, but pulled it forward a bit and gave it a slight twist. A jolt went through Lily's body. He tortured her further by digging his other fingers of that hand into her flesh, and then rolling her soft anatomy in his hand while still maintaining his hold on her nub. She shuddered at the sensations. This was a good kind of pain? Not pain, it should be uncomfortable, but oh …

He was pleased as Lily's body began to shake, her mouth dropped open and her gasp shuddered slowly from her. Taking advantage of all her senses focused on his one hand, he slid his other under her skirt and only needed to stroke her knickers a few times before her whole body bucked against his and she screamed his first name, as she did in the Hog's Head.

Denying Lily for a month may have paid off. Severus would not be ignored, nor would he be taken for granted. Would it get to the point where Lily would find it to be a punishment though? He didn't want to become extreme. That didn't seem right.

The way her muscles kept spasming after Severus surprised her felt oddly pleasant.

He had released his grip on her chest as her cry of 'Severus' erupted from her. His hands were now stroking her outer thighs, and did not go higher than where her skirt's hem was, pushed up midway between her knees and waist.

How did he know where to touch her? Not just down there, but the way he just fondled her breast was magnificent.

Severus kissed Lily's earlobe, then took it between his lips and gently nipped it.

"No more, Sev," she protested weakly.

"Mmm," he moaned in her ear, stirring feelings deep in her body. "I suppose we should be going then."

"Yes," was the only word that Lily could get out. When did this get so out of control?

"Did you want to meet when breakfast begins tomorrow? It'll give you an excuse to go to sleep early tonight, if you want."

Sleep? How could she sleep now? Rather than giving Severus the satisfaction of knowing he had totally unhinged her, she agreed, "Sure." There. Her voice was steady, and now all she had to do was try to stand up without falling on her face.

Lily allowed Severus to give her a steadying hand as she slid off the window sill. She found she could both stand and walk. Talking? Uh, what would she say? She should say something before Severus took the stairs down.

He said, "Good night."

"Uh, Sev … I enjoyed spending the evening with you."

Nodding, he replied, "Me too, Lily."

Without time to dillydally, Lily tried to move as fast as her thoughts now that her brain was thawing out. Being this was the second time Severus did such a thing to her, this time she wasn't as shocked. Maybe the mead made her a bit crazed last time. However, this sort of thing was going to have to be better controlled than him just deciding to do it on his own. Lily's face wouldn't be green forever, hiding how hot and flushed her skin felt. And what was that he did to her jubblies. Where'd … how'd … ah Merlin, even when Severus touched her hair it felt good, but when he touched her chest, at first it seemed a disappointment, then it was like he lit a fire low in the pit of her stomach.

Crossing through the common room, Lily tried to act normal. As soon as she was no longer green, she wouldn't let Severus do that sort of thing so close to curfew.

Climbing the stairs, she rationalized that he could not have planned it because she started snogging and then put his hand on her chest. Severus seemed fine with sitting in the window holding her. He didn't reveal anything with what he said, and Lily became so distracted she had no idea if there was any change to his body. She had totally ignored him, exactly what she was advised not to do. Not that she was going to follow that advice since no one knew Severus like her, but the part about taking him for granted … she'd have to do something about that.

Lily had been thinking about that before the werewolf, who she had trouble thinking of as Lupin, so it wasn't this darned life debt thing forcing her to think about Sev and pleasing him.

Severus had said she didn't need to worry about it. If it needed to occur, it would just happen. That was the problem! Lily didn't want something just to happen, she wanted to decide what, where, and when. Her best friend needed help with many things, and Lily was sure she could pay off this debt thing, if she put her mind to it but that wasn't how it worked. Stupid wizards and life debts. Another thing she'd have to research.

And another thing she could blame on that murdering bum hole, Sirius Black. He deserved to be in prison for ruining so many people's lives and getting Helen killed.

By the time Lily finished with her bath and returned to her room in her pajamas, her thoughts strayed back to Severus. He was her best friend and continued to prove it. Without Helen and Mary by her side, the loneliness up here in the Tower magnified how much she missed him. Her girlfriends were fun in ways that Severus was not, and that had to be why she had not missed him while he was down in the dungeons.

Perhaps Sev was right, and another Gryffindor girl would move in with her. Would McGonagall pick someone or look for a volunteer? What if they didn't click?

Mrs. Apolline Black. Her name itself spoke of beauty, refinement, and charm, and she was all his. If she wasn't so perfect, Sirius would think the best thing about marrying at seventeen was moving far away from his idiot parents and all their blathering on about a new start, don't waste his second chance, and what it cost them to arrange this. He'd tell them to shove it up their arse, but no price was too high for Apolline.

They already had a townhouse in France, Paris, the center of culture. Of course, Paris would need to wait until they returned from their honeymoon. Va Va Voom.

Everything could wait till then. Apolline already started teaching him French. Sirius was a quick study and already learned all the important words * wink wink *, and reciprocated by showing Apolline a few of his secret moves.

The French Ministry wasn't as oppressive as the British one, especially with his new father-in-law being so highly placed. So he'd learn apparition from a Frenchie, big deal. He'd probably pick it up in no time.

For now, they would be traveling first class or via portkey, and travel they would.

On Saturday, Lily had been worried, but Severus seemed content to spend all day in the library with her. Between the library closing and curfew, they returned to the window, but this time Lily controlled herself and Severus held her, as he originally had the evening before. By the time Lily was back in the Tower, she was positive Severus was trying to drive her mad.

By Sunday breakfast, Lily thought she had a perfect plan in mind since both of them were done with their homework.

She forgot all about that while reading her copy of The Sunday Prophet.

Lily spluttered at the smiling and kissing photo of Sirius Black and his new bride who he married in France, of all places. What in the name of all that was holy was going on?

She studied the words beneath the picture to unravel what had to be some sort of prank in the poorest of taste. By the fifth read through, she whispered them aloud slowly to comprehend what appeared to be a legitimate wedding announcement. It couldn't be.

Stunned, Lily looked around the Great Hall. It was still early, but Lily had dawdled waiting for her newspaper. Unlike muggle Sunday papers, the Prophet was not a heavier and many times thicker on Sundays.

Hadn't anyone else noticed this photo in their copy? Lily couldn't be the only one who looked on the announcement page looking for students she knew that had graduated before her.

Severus didn't get the paper, but Lily didn't want to run over to the Slytherin table and be the one to bring it to his attention. Plenty of Slytherins got the paper, and could say something.

Lily bit her lower lip. If there was someone who was the epitome of immaturity, it was Sirius Black. If people thought that bastard was old enough to marry ... well, there was something wrong with them. Severus and Lily were not old enough, and had too much to do before they did such a thing. Black hopefully was a fugitive and probably had no desire to work, study, or do much of anything except hear himself talk.

Slowly the noise in the Great Hall grew as the photo was found and shown to anyone that did not receive the paper. For the most part, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were aghast at how easily Sirius Black slipped out of the country and apparently started a new life without consequence.

The female Gryffindors understood that, but their outrage along with the volume was unparalleled since the Ashwinder incident during the holiday pantomime years ago.

Slytherins quietly discussed what could possibly happen next. They knew this was not the end of it. Only murdering idiots publicly wiped their noses on their victims and openly declared where they would be hiding out.

The Gryffindor boys were quiet. Getting their quidditch captain killed and maiming others was not good fun. No one accidentally uses a werewolf as a prank. And now … well now, their hero had chickened out, marrying some foreigner and going to live in France. Gryffindors don't run. And they certainly don't hide behind the snail-eating French.

Remus was still dazed and hoping that at any moment he would wake to find out that this was a horrible nightmare. When his parents brought a copy of the paper, he sat in open-mouthed shock.

To be part of his nightmare, there would have to be some niggling thought in his subconscious. First off, out of the four of them, Sirius was the least likely to marry and proud of it. He also frequently declared his disdain for anything foreign. He didn't even like cuisine, other than British. Very meat and potatoes, or fish and chips.

He had been used and abandoned. Turned into a killer for another's enjoyment. Deceived and discarded. So many negative words came to Remus's mind to describe his situation. He was young and reckless, and now he was truly screwed.

James only thought one thing when he saw the paper – what a brilliant prank! Sirius must have gotten someone at the Prophet to insert this into one copy and ensure its delivery to the Potters'.

Sirius Black would be single long after James'a grandchildren were being born.