What We Want

Rachael Point Of View:

My arm draped over my forehead. I'm laid down on my back on my mattress after the date with Hannah. There are so many things going through my mind, and I don't know what to think first. There are many questions, and many thoughts scrambled up in my mind.

Who could I talk to about this situation?

That's the first question that I've been asking myself over, and over, who could I talk to in this situation? I want to talk to my parents, but should I? Would they understand this messed up brain within me?

Then after that, why did I say yes? I feel the same, but why did Sam's face pop in my mind after I said yes?

Who did Hannah cheat on during her past relationship?

Who did Hannah cheat on during her past relationship?

Some people know who Hannah cheated on, but I don't, I wish they could just tell me and not just say, someone.

Approximately An Hour Ago

"Who do you think I am, Rachael?" Hannah asks, her lips quivers, and she lets out a shaky breath.

My eyes shot wide open as emptiness filled my mind, trying to find an answer for her. Who do I think Hannah is after she broke down? I look into her hazel colored eyes, my heart quicken, and I have no idea why.

I swallow my spite, but only to know, my mouth feels dry. Hannah looks into my grey eyes waiting patiently for my answer.

"You are someone who -," I started taking a deep breath, trying to think of something to say but got nothing.

I clear my throat and start again," You are a unique person. You're polite, kind, beautiful, and someone who needs to redeem themselves."

I bite my lower lip, and she gives me a questioning look then gives me a slight nod. From the look of her face, I know she wants me to continue, but having an empty brian isn't helping at all.

We look into each other eyes I could feel my body heating up because I got my tongue twisted. After a long silence, Hannah realized that I'm not going to say anything sooner or later.

"You're right about me, the part, when you said I'm someone I should redeem myself. That is true," Hannah says with a small smile. "However, in the other part, you could be describing anyone."

I let out a small dry laugh, "There are so many things about you that words can't describe you."

Her eyes light up, and her smile got bigger.

"Then..." She took a deep breath, holding my hands. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I felt my jaw drop at her sudden...uh question? Or a proposal to be her girlfriend?

"S-sure," I stutter, an uneasy filled up within me, and my mind isn't empty anymore. Somehow, I could see Sam's pained expression in my mind. Her face is flashing in my mind.

Present Time

I roll on my side, grabbing my phone off the nightstand to see if there is any notification. There is, five texts from Hannah, one from Austin, one from Sarah, but one text message got my attention.

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕

I let out a small laugh, remembering the day when I started to call Sam, Nice Ass, Bitch. It's a childish act from me, but she still doesn't know about it. She's someone who I barely know, and recently I found out she's the president of the Student Council. It's amazing. She's amazing. She's a bitch sometimes, but I'm annoying sometimes, too. We are even.

I pull my hair back and open up the message from Sam, it read; Meet me in the library tomorrow morning.

I tilt my head to the side and raising a brow with confusion, why would she want to see me? My fingers hover over the keyboard as I think about what I should type, I've got three options; I could send her a plain okay, or ask her a question, or....just leave on her on seen.

I sat up in my bed, and start texting to her.

~Text Message~

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕: Meet me in the library tomorrow morning.

Rachael: Why?

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕: Cause I said so.

Rachael: 🙄

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕: The more you're going to roll your blind eyeballs, you're going to lose them before you die.

Rachael: 🙄

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕: Rest In Peace to your eyeballs, they deserve better than you.

Rachael: 🤬

Nice Ass, Bitch 🖕: Cute Emoji.

I let out an irritated groan as I flop back on my mattress. I brought my phone above my face as I start texting back to Sam before I could send it, I realized my phone is getting closer and -

"Ow!" I hollered when something smashed into my face, and my hand went up to my nose. "You've got to be kidding me."

I sat up straight again and took my phone by my side. Then I continue texting to Sam as nothing happened. We texted back and forth, talked about yesterday's game, then about our project, and her insult isn't going to end either.

After an hour of texting with her, finally, I set down my phone and stretched. Something caught my eyes, my reflection from my bedroom mirror, I study myself and found myself smiling. I smile wider until I found a pimple on my forehead, you've got to be kidding me. I thought the pimple season is over.

The clock on the wall reads 11:30 AM, so I went back texting to Sam. We continued from our conversation, until, she brought up about the date with Hannah. My body went frozen and paralyzed. I look at her text again, rereading it over and over in my head until I'm whispering it.

"How was the 'date' with Hannah? 😒"

I didn't realize how long I've been still until my phone started to ring. The caller ID read as Nice Ass Bitch🖕, and I went reaching for it. However, I hesitate if I should hang up or answer.

I took a deep breath and answered the call from her.

"You know, you could use your thumb to text each letter in your text box, then you could send it. It's like only a couple of bottoms." Sam says with her raspy voice brought chills down my spine. Her voice is soft at the same time I heard a bark over the phone.

I bite my lip and whisper over the phone, "I know that, Bitch. Do you have a dog?"

"Unless you answer my first, then I'll answer yours, cause I asked first," Sam whispers back, I heard a bark again.

I let out a shaky breath, "...Hannah asked me to be her girlfriend..."

I waited for an answer, feeling sweat start to develop in my palms, and my heartbeat quickens in my chest.

"What did you said?" Sam asks quietly, and I couldn't hear anymore barking noises in the background.

"I - I said sure - " I said shakily, feeling the uneasy filling inside me again. The flashes Sam's face showing pain begins drumming in the back of my mind, again.

"So you said yes," She mumbles over the phone, I almost didn't catch it from how quiet she went. I didn't hear anything except silence. My hand starts to shake, and I look at my phone and saw, we're still on call.

"Yeah," I whisper, my hand tightens its grasp on my phone. I feel lightheaded, and my heartbeat has quickened, my body feels sweaty, and I could feel pain inside me. Tears start to build up in my eyes, and why do I feel like I did something wrong? How come Sam's face is a tattoo in the back of my mind?

"Good Night," Sam snarls over the phone, before hanging up on me.

Silence surrounded me, and the air around me suddenly feels cold. I cried in my pillow as I hug it, and the pain within me is stirring me alive. Do I even like Hannah?