I didnt have the confidence to keep you by my side

A deep sigh crosses her lips as she tosses and turns on her bed. The events of last night were fresh in her mind. All morning she waited for Kiryu to call her, but he didn't. Now it was mid-day, and her gaze fell on her phone.

Missed call: Haruka (30)

The thirty missed call signs were something she could not ignore. But Lila watches as it rang again. For some reason, she doesn't want to talk to him. She called him back after Kiryu told her to do so, but after that... It isn't easy, after all. Even though it happened months ago, whenever Lila thought about it, it upset her very much. How could she be okay with her husband having another person's child? It isn't easy for her at all.

But she can't possibly tell Haruka to ask Rikka-san to get rid of it. That would be cruel of her. Besides, what Haruka wanted the most was a family. He wanted children. Lila recalled that when they were in London, he confessed to her that he wished to have a family. How could she possibly take that away from him?

Her thoughts broke off when her phone rang again. Agh- why is he this persistent? In the past, whenever they both had work, and she called him, he never did this.

Lila hesitantly clicked the answer button.

"Wife?"

"Hello."

"Sorry for calling you so many times. But I just wanted to hear your voice."

At that comment, she sighs. "Are you drunk?"

"Mmm, a little."

It seems like the condition in New York isn't as bad as they all think if people over there can still drink and have parties. "Find some water," She trailed off. "No, do you have some?"

"Yeah, in my bag. Rikka is fetching it."

So they went to another gathering together. What does she do with these thoughts when she is far away from him? These ugly feelings of jealousy she can't do anything about it during this current situation.

"I missed you." Lila was surprised with these words that escaped her lips, especially considering how rotten she felt right now.

"Mm, miss you, love. Hey, switch your camera on?"

Lila hesitated but accepted the video call. At first, she saw nothing but darkness until Haruka took a few steps forward. Ah, a balcony. She watches as he clumsily closes it behind him.

"Sit down, your a bad drunk."

Haruka nods and slumped on the chair.

"You know I took it for granted you staying by my side. Look how hopeless I am when you're not with me."

She sighs. "You're an adult. Get a grip."

"So cold," Haruka mumbled. "But I suppose your still mad, huh?" Lila doesn't say anything, but he continues. "It's normal for you to be mad at me. Unlike before however, I can't hold you in my arms and appease your anger."

"If I received that news when we were together, I would have done something I would end up regretting."

"You would break up with me." It wasn't a question; it was a statement. Haruka nods. "Yeah, that would have made sense. But you know Lila, even if you did, I would have chased after you again."

He would have, huh? "Did you know about Kiryu protecting me?"

"Yeah."

"Is that why you tried to keep me away from other people? You were afraid they would tell me about Kiryu?"

"Mmm, right."

Several times when she began her journey, her old friends in Star Town tried to contact her. But Haruka, as her manager, was strict and kept her phone most of the day. Whenever he gave it back, Lila noticed that he touched it - but she never said anything. Back then, she wanted to focus on finding a way to help him. That was why it did not matter what he did.

One of those people was Shichiro, who used other means to contact. Both Mikami-kun and Kouta-kun tried to tell her, and yet Haruka was always one step ahead.

"That was cruel of you."

How could he do that? Lila knew that Kiryu would work for her even though they were far apart. But she did not think it would be like that. She did not think he would sacrifice his whole life just to help her. Lila suspected the main reason why his hanyou side became out of control was her.

Kiryu must have secretly taken on jobs to keep her safe.

No matter what Haruka says, she has to get angry at him this time. She has to get mad. Kiryu suffered so much, and Haruka knew this from the very beginning. Haruka knew even before she came to Light Town as Kiku Ari. He knew it from the start.

Kiryu's main reason for being in pain isn't just her, but -- her thoughts broke off when she hears a faint reply.

"I didn't have the confidence Lila, to keep you by my side."

At that comment, Lila bit her bottom lip. Both of them are so unfair. How come they both say such things that catch her off guard like this?

"Lila?"

"I can't hate you." She mumbled. "I want to. I thought several times it would be easier for me to hate you, but even now, I can't do that."

What is she doing wasting her time on this call? She ought to hang up before she ends up repeating stupid things. This is not the time to show weakness. But these days, her emotions are more sensitive. No, its because she understood now.

This past year, it was like she was living in a dream. Haruka made sure of that. He ensured that she lived a peaceful and happy life, that she made memories.

"Yeah, I know that too. Sorry, my wife."

"How long did you know about Zane's plan?"

Haruka took a deep breath and nodded. "I knew from the start. I was his right-hand man, after all. He told me everything. I knew all his plans and how he intended to execute everything."

"Were you lying when you said you joined his side to act as a spy?"

"No, that was the truth."