Bitter sweet

Kiryu looked around the market for a while and reconfirmed the information Takehiro gave him. He thought that there might be something the redhead missed, but there wasn't much to go on. He did learn, however, the days where they spotted Maaya here. It seems he will have to wait for one of those days.

He returned to the manor after dropping by several other places. It wasn't nightfall, and the sun was still up. But unlike in the past, where the skies would turn orange, it was a pale peach/red color during this time.

For ordinary individuals, this is the most dangerous time, and for him too. This is usually when his hanyou side would act up, and he would go on a violent rampage.

Recently he has not had to inject himself with that drug. Kiryu understood the main reason why. 'It is because Lila is by my side now.'

A deep sigh escaped his lips. Initially, he took great lengths to avoid her so she wouldn't see him like this, but at the end of the day, here he is, relying on her.

Kiryu headed to the lounge area. 'I need a few drinks.' He seldom drank after he started dating Lila, but after their breakup, he ended up reverting back to his old self and relying on such stupid methods to cope with his pain.

The moment he arrived at the lounge, he spotted a figure on the sofa. For some reason, Lila was there, her eyes shut.

Kiryu recalled their last conversation. He asked her to go see Sumire-san. Did she feel sick on the way there? Lately, her condition is very unstable. Perhaps it was due to all the jumbled-up memories, but her condition fluctuated a lot.

He walked over to the sofa and carefully called out her name. "Hey Lila, do you feel alright?"

There was no response, but he heard her faint breathing. Maybe she is just asleep. But if that is the case, she should know better. Although the only other guy here aside from himself is Nobu, intruders still have a chance to enter.

'She is as defenseless as ever. But it is because she is so unguarded that I even got the chance with her before.' If Lila were more vigilant, then she would have noticed how bad he was. Kiryu got on his knees and stared at her.

This is a problem.

'I thought I could control myself, but her having no memories and returning to her previous attitude when we dated is very bad.' Even though he knew it was only temporary, it still stirs up his emotions. Moreover, whenever he sees her acting so hard not to get nervous around him, he ends up with even stranger thoughts.

Kiryu hoped that the clue they just found would lead them to Haruka. If this carries on any longer, he won't be able to hold himself back.

He thought he had a stronger resistance after all that had happened. After seeing how happy she was with Haruka, Kiryu thought that his emotions would settle and he would no longer desire her. He managed to keep up that behavior for a while, but it didn't take long for that resolve to break.

'Let's be friends' It was such a ridiculous idea, but he saw how difficult it was for Lila and how much pain Haruka was in. Despite what others may say, he saw Haruka as one of his dearest friends.

"I hope we find him soon."

...

The following morning Kiryu was still in a daze. He had a hard time getting some sleep after yesterday. He only touched her hair a little, but she woke up because of that resulting in this situation.

"Hey Lila, I'm not going to bite," Kiryu called out.

The girl was cooking something in the kitchen alongside Kotori. But she refused to look at him the entire morning. 'She probably doesn't realize the more she behaves that way, the worse it will become.'

Kotori rolled her eyes. "Kiryu-kun, I don't know what you did, but you can't take advantage of her."

"Hey, I didn't do anything!" At most, he moved a strand of her hair away from her face.

"Would she react that way if you didn't do anything?"

Lila, who was hiding behind Kotori, peered over. "Kiryu was trying to take advantage of me when I was sleeping."

"Kiryu-kun!" Kotori exclaimed.

'When Kotori gets mad, she will go into full-blown lecture mode.' Kiryu quickly stood up and grabbed Lila's wrist, dragging her away from Kotori.

"I am just going to borrow her for a sec." Kiryu did not wait for a response before he led Lila out of the room and down the hallway.

"H--hey Kiryu?"

Kiryu didn't say anything, and eventually, they arrived in front of his room. Of course, he didn't bring her inside but slammed his hand against the wall trapping her.

"Lila," Kiryu said seriously. "You know I already am having a hard time."

"A hard time?" Lila repeated.

"A hard time holding back. I wish I told you from the moment you lost your memory that we weren't together anymore and that you have a husband. But I didn't, and for a while, you treated me like how you used to. It was my fault for deluding myself that I could enjoy your company like I did before. Even though I was doing a great job suppressing my feelings before, because I did something stupid like that, I am on the verge of losing control."

Kiryu wanted to have this talk with her for a while now. Despite him telling her about her husband, on several occasions, she still behaved shyly around him. Seeing her like that made him lose control.

Lila looked down, averting her gaze. "I think I understand. But you have to look at it from my perspective."

"Your perspective?"

"I have no memories of the past year Kiryu. I don't remember anything that has happened; why did we break up, how did you feel? What was my reaction and, most importantly, this person you're calling my husband? It is true that when you told me about him, I could not outright deny it. I felt that what you were telling me was right, and I saw the evidence on my phone too. But Kiryu, even though this is the case. You are still very important to me, and I don't think my feelings for you have completely disappeared."

He looked at her dumbfounded. What on earth did she just say? Did she just admit that she still had feelings for him?

At that comment, Lila sighed deeply. "You are so clueless. I thought I made it clear."

Even if she is telling the truth, she can only say that with such strong conviction because she has no memories. Moreover, the last conversation they had when she temporarily had her memories remain fresh in his mind.