Memory or no memory I love you

It does not surprise her how Haruka was all over her when she entered the room. Even with lost memories, this is a part of him that hasn't changed. But unlike before, something felt different to her. Her gaze fell on her husband, but the first thing that entered her line of vision rather than his face was his naked torso.

Her cheeks reddened slightly, and she coughed. 'Just because I missed him doesn't mean I should allow this.' Many things are happening; surely this isn't the time for such a thing?

"You okay?"

"I just need to rest...can we stop?"

"Okay."

Oh...he stopped. Haruka gently kissed her eyelids. "I'm sorry if it hurts."

He is even apologizing. She can't adjust to this at all. But he is so sincere. How can she turn him away? He has no memories, and yet he is still Haruka. He is still her husband.

They went through so much together. So she does want Haruka to remember. But, at the same time, maybe it is okay for things to remain this way. Lila had such thoughts on her way back to the manor after speaking to Rikka.

If Haruka doesn't regain his memories, he no longer has to remember the torture he experienced and the pain he caused me with his actions. Lila knew that Haruka regretted many things he did in the past, his behavior before they dated, the thing with Aizawa Mei and all those other girls. It was one of the main reasons why he accepted her parents' offer not to touch her until she was eighteen.

It was because he was carrying so much guilt in his heart.

"Wife? What's wrong?"

"My name," Lila mumbled. "I noticed that you don't use it a lot."

"I want to be reassured. If I call you my wife, you will come back to me. I don't know why but I get this feeling that you will leave me if I am not careful."

Lila bit her bottom lip. 'I shouldn't have left him.' She regrets it a lot. If she didn't leave, he wouldn't be in this state now. Zane was reluctant to hurt Haruka because she was by his side. The moment she left, that protection vanished.

Lila bent over and kissed him lightly. "I love you."

"Whenever you tell me you love me, I like it, but I wonder why I feel bad too? Sometimes I think you're not supposed to be mine."

'Even without memories, the lingering regret does not vanish. In Haruka's case, the regret is so deep that it haunts him.' Lila extended her hand out and caressed his cheek.

"Weren't you tired?"

"Not anymore," Lila mumbled. If they touch each other a lot like how things were in the past, perhaps she can reassure him?

"Don't try so hard to be strong." He covered the blanket around her. "I'll make you something to eat. Why don't you get some rest?"

The moment he turned away, she buried her face in his back.

For a second Haruka, didn't say anything. "Your acting so strange. Is it because you have your memories back now? Is it hard for you to be with me?"

"What makes you say that?"

"It seems we were apart from each other for a while. I figured that something must have happened."

Right, even with no memories, surely he would put the pieces together. Why weren't they together despite being married?

"I was the one who left, so you don't have to blame yourself."

Haruka turned around and pulled her back down onto the bed at those words.

"In the short time since I came here, I have learned how kind you are. If you felt the need to leave me, then there is no doubt that I was the one who did something wrong."

Lila averted her gaze at those words. The reason she left, huh? At that time, she was so muddled-headed. When she learned the true purpose of the trip, she wanted to get angry at Haruka for tricking her. But her anger vanished when she realized that Haruka was trying to make some good memories before the damage became irreversible.

He stayed by Zane for so many years, so Haruka must have understood that it was almost time. Before then, he wanted to go on that trip he promised her. When she realized this, how could she possibly get angry at him?

But the reason why she felt the need to leave was most-likely Rikka-san. Rikka-san chased Haruka to New York even though Star Town was already in that state.

That action moved her; Rikka-san's feelings for Haruka are far stronger than she thought. She already felt threatened before, but this made it worse.

"It wasn't you; it was me. I was uneasy and insecure, even though you showed me how much you loved me." Lila sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It was my job to make you happy and to make you see the light. But in the end, the one who benefited from this was me."

In the end, she was the one who obtained the most happiness.

"I was supposed to make you happy, but I believe my presence caused you more or pain and suffering instead."

The main reason why Haruka had all those problems last year was her. If it were the past, he wouldn't have made so many sacrifices that would cause him pain.

"I feel the only reason why you are staying with me now despite not having any memories is because we are husband and wife."

If the title wasn't there, would he stay?

"When I first saw you a few days ago, I already understood. This is the person I have wanted to see. My memories are blurry, yes, but I do recall a strong longing. I was longing to see and meet with somebody for so long. When I saw you crying like that, I knew it was you. So you don't have to explain yourself. Even if we weren't husband or wife, I would have remained here."

'This is so unfair. He doesn't remember, yet the warmth he gives her is still the same. He still says the right words.'

But despite having this honest conversation, Lila couldn't bring herself to ask. 'Do you want your memories back?' A part of her is afraid of asking.

"Lila." Haruka suddenly said. "Uh, I don't mind getting close to you, I meant everything I said just now, but I think this position is bad for you."

At those words, Lila immediately understood and drew back from him. She averted her gaze. Lila knew even without looking at a mirror how red her face was.

Haruka coughed awkwardly. "Do you want food? Actually, I was practicing in the kitchen earlier. It seems like I can cook."

Her eyes brightened when she heard those words. "Okay!"

Haruka told her to stay put here, but Lila wanted to go with him. Maybe they could cook together? Quite some time has passed since they last did that. Back before the world fell apart, cooking together was one of the few peaceful moments they had together.

The two of them exited the room in a happy mood and headed downstairs. But the moment they reached the bottom, Lila noticed somebody at the doorway.

There stood a man with blonde hair and blue eyes wearing a light blue colored cloak on top of his clothes.

Lila couldn't believe who she was seeing.

The man turned to them and sighed. "I finally found you; why are you so hard to find Lila?"