Chapter 39

We walk into the training room, as usual, but this time the room is empty. No knives, guns, and other fighting equipment are on the tables.

"Good Morning Initiates," Eric says, not stopping for people to say it back "We'll be moving on to the next stage of initiation"

Everyone nods and Eric and Tobias start to walk to the doors on the other side of the room, motioning for us to follow.

We all walk in silence, not knowing what's gonna happen soon. I know Tobias said we'll be doing simulations, but he never clarified if that was this stage or the next one.

We finally get to the hallway, and Tobias and Eric say to sit and wait outside while they take one person at a time. They call Olivia first, and the time surpasses 10 minutes. After that, people start to get impatient. Oliver starts to tap his foot, worried for his sister. When she comes back out (20 more minutes later) by herself she goes to sit down again by Oliver and he hugs her. She looks a little scared of whatever just happened. He asks her if she's ok, keeping an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm fine Ollie," Olivia says reassuringly

It must be killing them that there's a chance one of them might not get into Dauntless. They're some of the closest siblings I've ever seen, so it must hurt that they could be separated. Though they're both strong, so they're definitely getting in.

Then Tobias steps out again and calls for Jonathan next. Katherine gives him a quick, small, smile and he goes into the room. We wait again, 45 minutes this time, and he walks out- slightly scared- and sits down.

"So?" Katherine asks

"What?" Jonathan says clueless

"What happened in there, you dummy?" Katherine says jokingly

"Oh, can't say," Jonathan says smirking a little

"Wow. You're really gonna do us like that, huh?" I say jokingly.

Jonathan just shrugs and stays silent.

People get called one by one again, but each time when they come back they say nothing. Then Jake goes in and comes back 20 minutes later. He comes to sit down by me again and seems kind of scared like Jonathan did.

"Ok, please tell me you're going to tell us what happened?" I ask Jake

"Nope. I've sworn to secrecy" Jake says, smiling a little.

"I hate you," I say seriously

I try my best to give him a death stare but I can't when he looks at me like that.

"Oh my god, stop that!" I tell him, looking away

"Stop what?" Jake says, smiling

"Stop smiling, like that," I say, looking back up at him again.

He smiles and Dean yells "Oh my godddd can you 2 stop, your in love we get it already!"

I can't help but laugh a little, and I even see Dean smiling a little too when I glance at him again.

Then, Tobias comes back out and motions for me to come into the room. I get up and walk inside slowly, and keep my arms to my side scared a little. Inside the room is a chair, just like the one Tobias and I sat on when we went into our fear landscapes yesterday and the day before. He never told me my time though.

He closes the door behind him and I say "Oh, it's just the fear landscape"

"Don't sound too excited?" He says jokingly

I sit on the chair and lay back. He sticks the needle in my neck, and I close my eyes.

I open my eyes again and I see the city around me. I look down and I'm standing on a bridge, high above the rest of the buildings. My first instinct would be to just jump off, I know this isn't real. But, I can't do that, or I'll reveal I'm Divergent. I look in front of me, and I see the bridge connecting to a building. I start to walk forward carefully, and I basically jump in when I get close enough.

Then, my next fear begins. Around me are dark gray metal walls. In the middle is a table with a gun on it, and next to it sits an innocent boy. I already know I have to kill him, but it's still hard to do every time. I take the gun and point it up to him. I then turn away, close my eyes, and press the trigger. I hear the sound of the gunshot, and hear the boy slump in the chair. I keep my eyes shut and breathe through my mouth deeply, opening my eyes to the wind hitting my face. I'm on the tallest building in the city.

(I forgot if the tallest building is the Hancock or the Hub, so please don't come for me)

I see Jake standing in front of me, and I already know which fear this is. He starts to move toward the edge of the building, and I grab on to him, trying to hold him back.

"Jake, please don't" I plead

"I'm sorry, I have too," Jake says, still walking forward

"No, you don't," I manage to say, trying to hold him back "You don't have to do this"

"Yes I do, Ro" Jake says

"If you loved me, you wouldn't," I tell him, trying to get him to stop

"I'm doing this because I love you," Jake says. I find myself letting go of him, involuntarily. It feels like a hit to the gut. I'm not just scared of Jake dying. I'm scared of him dying because of me. He walks faster towards the edge of the building, now that I let go of him. Right, when he's closer to the edge I try to yell 'Jake please, no' but it comes out only as a whisper, if not a mumble. Jake tips over the side of the building and falls down, hitting the pavement. It's not real, It's not real, I tell myself. I shut my eyes and calm myself down, and force myself to open them again.

Now I'm in a glass box, with a pipe connecting into it. Before I can even think, water begins to rush in quickly. I could break the glass, but it would be too revealing. Now the water is already up to my shoulders, and I have to kick up to breathe. I take off my jacket and try to jam the pipe, but it doesn't do much. The water gets slowed down but all I can do now is focus. I feel the water against my neck and I start to panic a little. I kick up, going up as high as I can in order to breathe. I try to control my breathing, and slower my heart rate, and it eventually works.

I open my eyes, calm and dry, This time, I'm back in my old Abnegation house. Everything looks the same as it did before, but this time there are open bottles sitting on the table next to the couch. I already know Marcus will appear soon, he always does.

I turn and I see Marcus standing in the doorway leading to the kitchen. But this time it seems different. Then, Tobias is lying on the floor next to Marcus. Marcus has a long stick in his hand, and his face is blank. I step forward a little, but he doesn't move, so I know I can go forward to Tobias without getting hit. I crouch down next to Tobias and shake him a little. His eyes are closed and I can't hear his breathing.

He doesn't move and I whisper "Tobias. Tobias get up. Please"

Then all of a sudden, red liquid starts to pool around him. Blood. Tears start to form in my eyes, and I cover my face with my hands. I then, feel something kick me in my side, causing me to fall over. I stumble to get up and Marcus is now moving towards me, trying to grab me.

"It'll be you next," Marcus says coldly.

He charges at me, and I duck and kick him in the back. He falls forward, landing on his arms and gets back up. He clenches his teeth and swings for me again, this time punching me in my stomach. I fall back again and kick him in the gut when he comes closer. I then punch him hard in the face, knocking him out. I take in a few breaths and turn to look at Tobias. Tears fall harder this time, and I crouch down trying not to focus on him dying. I close my eyes and wake up again in the room I was in before.

I get up quickly on the chair and Tobias says "Hey, you're ok" hugging me. I hug him back quickly, but tightly, and then get up saying I'm fine.

"You sure?" Tobias says

"Ya, definitely," I say, though I don't think Tobias believes me

"Well, I am honored that I made it into your fears with Jake" Tobias jokes

"Oh, shut up," I say, playfully punching him.

Then I ask him what I've been wanting to know.

"What time did I get?" I ask

"What do you think?" Tobias asks

"I don't know 20, 30 minutes?" I say

"5. You finished in 5 minutes," Tobias says

"Oh" Is all I can manage to say. I walk out of the room, and stares meet me. This time they're surprised and shocked. I sit down with Jake, a little uncomfortable by all the eyes on me, and he's shocked too.

"How did you-" Jake begins to asked

"I don't know" I cut in "I just don't know"

It scares me that I made it out so fast. I mean, I know I'm Divergent, but those were my worst fears. How could I possibly finish in 5 minutes?

Jake puts his arm across my shoulders, and I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder. Katherine gets called next and comes out 35 minutes later again. They finish calling everyone in, and by the time we're done, it's already early evening. We started in the morning, so I'm exhausted.

All I can think about now is, what is Jess going to do to my hair?