Card cultivation system

God gazed down upon the beauty of and serenity of his perfect utopia and said, "This world is too peaceful. They need to start some wars so I can get my hands on some weapons. Should I assassinate a world leader? Or maybe I could blow up a building." He was not a merciful God.

Scott and Hades stood nearby, sweat covering their faces thinking, 'I must do my job well. I don't want to incur this demon's punishment.'

"Hades, how are you enjoying Cardopolis?" Alex asked.

"It's quite beautiful, Lord," Hades replied.

"Yes, a little too beautiful. It could use a touch of...fire and brimstone"

'...But we live here Lord.' The two Generals discovered their patron was a slum lord.

...

"I've been wondering something. Hades, so you were a God on Earth right?" Alex questioned.

"Yes, Lord."

"Aren't you upset about going from a God to being my General now?"

"No, Lord. It's a great honor. More importantly, whether God or General, there's no difference when you're dead. The apocalypse is coming. Scott has convinced me that the best method of stopping it is to follow you. That's also what I believe."

"Hmm...alright. So, I take it there are many more Gods on Earth? And they've been living for thousands of years?"

"Indeed, Lord." Hades answered.

"Is there a flying spaghetti monster?"

...

"Not to my knowledge, Lord."

"Ok, what do the Gods do all the time?"

Hades thought for several seconds before responding. "Everyone finds hobbies, Lord...For example, Apollo enjoys stalking celebrities."

...

Alex had closed his eyes and was chewing on both lips. It was so bad that he was embarrassed just by knowing a relative.

"Ares is a LARPer."

...

Alex had now scrunched up his face and turned his head as far to the right as it could go. His ears were trying to escape but his body wouldn't listen. Most of him wanted it to stop but part of him needed to hear more. "And you?"

"Me, myself Lord...I troll," Hades said.

...

"You...troll?" Alex was weighing the benefits of dying now vs. continuing living.

"Yes, Lord, on internet forums. I tell people I'm Hades and argue with them. That's how I bring them to the Underworld and make them suffer."

...

'These scoundrels are all just NEETs and trust fund babies...They've been living too long.' Alex was beginning to lose faith in his new employee.

"So Gods don't age, can they die?" Alex inquired.

"Yes Lord...by killing each other." Hades responded

Alex's eyebrows arched. "Why would Gods kill each other?"

"Any reason really. Sometimes just for a laugh. Before modern society's tv and internet, we were awfully bored you see." Hades answered then looked at Scott. "Hey, you remember that time I got Zeus drunk and dared him to kill Asclepius as a joke? And then he actually thunderbolted him! Haha, yea that was funny. Everyone on Mount Ollie laughed their ass off!"

...

'So this guy's a troll and a psycho...well, what could I expect from the 'King of the Underworld?' Alex shook his head.

"...Scott, so why have you asked me to come here?"

"Sir, I've brought you here to meet someone, a mortal."

Alex's eyes slightly widened. "Oh, who is this mortal?"

"The one I received the Seal card from. Allow me to take you, Sir." Scott did his arm wavy thing and the world moved until they were inside of a luxurious estate on a mountain. "Please follow me, Sir."

Alex walked as he busily looked around. Similar to the rest of Cardopolis, the courtyards and structures here were also made of cards, but they held an ethereal quality to them, as if they were here and not here at the same time.

Scott led Hades and him into one of the buildings. There, Alex was taken aback when he saw...a woman. Her long flowing hair, parted in the middle, accentuated her gentle round face. Her skin was ivory and velvety like jade, as if the sun's rays had never dared to touch her. The impression she gave to people was of warmth and welcome, the feeling that regardless of what they had done and whatever difficulties were on their mind, as soon as they saw her, everything else disappeared...and they were home.

"My Lord." The woman sat on her knees and kowtowed when they entered.

Alex's eyes grew as big as saucers when he saw her, then he frowned. 'Why do I feel like I've seen her before?'

"Can she understand me?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Sir. Cardopolis has grown from your influence so the language has also naturally developed to be similar to your own. Allow me to introduce you, this girl is Leena. She is the card cultivator who produced the Seal card you used," Scott introduced.

"Card cultivator?"

"Sir, the inner worlds of chosen ones usually support a specific type of strengthening system, such as cultivation or magic. When I was exploring Cardopolis, I discovered that here, they practice a very unique system, that's card cultivation!" Scott explained.

"In card cultivation, the practitioners imbue cards with their soul power. One variation of this is where they create space pockets inside of the cards, allowing them to store things. That is how Seal cards are made. Their cultivation is built around this process similar to how an alchemist creates potions, or a Taoist may focus on creating charms," Scott continued.

"This is quite a surprise...How many card cultivators are there in Cardopolis?" Alex asked.

"Not many, Sir. Just like other cultivation systems, card cultivating is a hidden mystic art and few have the talent for it. However, if we Generals actively promote such a system and scour the citizens for talents, we can increase that number. That would allow us to raise the number of card cultivators and thus the number of cards produced," Scott answered.

"Yes, good...Let's build a human assembly line." Alex's eyes envisioned turning the entire world into a factory. At this comment, Leena slightly frowned and her eyes grew sad. Alex noted this. He didn't know why, but he started to feel bad. "Leena, is it? Don't worry, I was just joking before." He tried to put on his most sincere smile.

To Leena, it looked like he was crying. When she realized God had seen her unhappy reaction, she grew incredibly flustered and afraid. She quickly kowtowed again. "Please forgive me, Lord. I did not mean anything by it! Although I do not know what it is, I will happily become a human assembly line as you wish!"

Alex frowned. For some reason, when seeing this, he felt a stinging in his chest.

"There's no need to be so formal with me Leena, rise." Leena was dumbfounded, but not as much as Hades and Scott.

'I would've put money on him killing her before seeing this,' the Generals thought. They were seeing a new side to their Lord.

Leena was still flustered, but she hesitantly rose to stand with them, though still not daring to look at anyone directly in the eyes.

"You can call me Alex."

Leena barely managed to sneak a peek at Alex from the corner of her vision. He wasn't particularly handsome. He wasn't particularly tall. His dark hair and eyes did not stand out from anyone else. But he had one thing that others did not, "He was God!"