Where's my Ironman suit?

Alex started his own alien invasion as he tiptoed along the chainlink fence blocking the road to Area 51. When he was far enough away from the soldiered posts, he hopped over the fence, walked back to the road, and continued onward.

After a short walk, he arrived to the main area of the base. There were military trucks, bunkers, administration buildings, and aircraft hangars sparsely spread throughout an area covering approximately 10 square miles. 'Is this it? Where are the Pew Pew Pew laser turrets?' Alex asked Scott through their soul connection.

'Sir, the real facility is located underground. This area is merely a front,' Scott answered.

'Ok. Where's the entrance to the underground?'

'It's located inside of the largest aircraft hangar in the middle, Sir."

Alex walked over to the aforementioned building. The base was not very busy, but there were still occasionally soldiers patrolling on foot. The hangar he was heading to, in particular, seemed to have the most foot traffic. The entrance was a locked door opened only by a security card. Alex waited for some time until an officer approached and entered the hangar. As the door was about to swing closed, Alex stopped it and slipped in.

Alex followed the officer as he entered deeper. There was a large transport plane sitting inside the hangar, currently unattended. The officer headed to a walled-off area behind the plane and Alex tailed him.

'What is this? There's nothing here...' Right as Alex was thinking that, the officer approached an electric apparatus on the wall and brushed his key card against it. Soon after, a large elevator rose from the floor. 'Ok...that's cool. Things rising from the floor is the future.'

The officer entered the elevator and Alex followed. The elevator ride downwards was much shorter than the one in the Federal Reserve. When the elevator arrived, the door opened and the officer stepped out. Outside of the elevator was a large, all metallic room resembling something from a futuristic space ship or Magneto's wet dream. 'This is a good start. Metal equals science and technology.' Alex knew the signs to look for.

The officer scanned his card again and entered a hallway. Just like the room, it seemed the entire base was constructed entirely of metal for some reason. Alex continuously followed until the officer suddenly froze, and looked downwards.

'Have I been discovered?' Alex began to go into fight or flight mode. He was preparing to chop the officer's head off and escape.

*GRRUUURGG*

The officer began to rub his stomach. He'd eaten some Mexican food earlier that was now giving him a bellyache. It looked like he needed to make an emergency stop at the bathroom. He resumed walking and took a right into a nearby hallway, all the while completely unaware that he was almost decapitated due to a bean burrito.

The man entered a room. The door of the room had a sign on its front of a white silhouette with the word "Men" written on it.

'It's a deuce emergency.' Alex repeatedly nodded his head in understanding.

It seemed to be a public bathroom. Waiting a few seconds, Alex opened the door and snuck a peek inside. The officer's legs could now be seen under a stall as he was doing his unholy business.

Alex didn't waste any time as he opened the man's stall. The man was confused, looking up and seeing nothing until he really saw nothing at all, being knocked unconscious by the hilt of Alex's sword, Balisarda.

Alex took the officer's key card before leaving. Not only would he need it to escape, but it may come in useful later. The way this guy swaggered in here alone made Alex think he could be some kind of bigshot. If anyone found the man or if he woke up, they would just think he passed out from hellish constipation. "Don't forget to wipe."

'Where to now, Scott?'

'I'm unsure, Sir. Try exploring the area and see what you can find.'

Alex walked around, looking from room to room, but found nothing but stacks of papers, lockers, and other useless items. Maybe it's because it was nighttime or entrance to this facility was generally restricted, but so far he hadn't run into anyone else. After searching for a long time, he finally found a room lightly glowing with green light.

'Green light equals science and technology.' There was no stronger weapon than the power of knowledge for a treasure hunter, or thief.

He tried to enter the room but it was locked. Looking to the side to see an electronic key scanner, he used the officer's key and heard a beep. The door unlocked and he entered inside to take a look. There were desks full of chemistry equipment. The green light was coming from shelves on the walls which housed various liquids.

'Sir, we've found it!' Scott exclaimed. There, in one of the shelves, stood one closed test tube full of green liquid. On the test tube was written "Gene Enhancement Fluid."

'What is this?' Alex asked.

'Sir, this is what we came here for. It will improve your cultivation!' Scott answered.

'You brought me here for a shot of vegetable juice? You bastard, where's my Ironman suit?!?'