Marrying a UFO

"Behind the scenes, high-ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about UFOs. But through official secrecy and ridicule, many citizens are led to believe that unknown flying objects are nonsense." - Former CIA Director, Roscoe Hillenkoetter, public statement, 1960.

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Alex had already stopped breathing as he discovered love at first sight.

His true love was saucer shaped and silver chrome. Unconsciously, his fists had already wound back, as his body prepared to throw a 1-2 combo of air punches from the sheer awesomeness of seeing such a thing.

A dragon queen with laser beam eyes. A hoverboard that morphed into an elf princess. While this wasn't his dream wife, a UFO still rounded out the top 3. In life, you don't always marry your first love.

Then he remembered he was still running for his life.

He looked down at the compass and saw it pointed to the UFO. The meaning was obvious, that was his escape route. However, Alex ran a circle around the thing but saw no entrance. He looked around more carefully and noticed a podium at the edge of the UFO. After running over to it, he understood that it was similar to the electric scanners on the doors of the base.

'It must need a key card...' He took out the officer's key card he had stolen from the first guy he saw when he entered.

BEEP

"Access granted. Please stand aside for the descent of the entry ladder." A girl's voice was suddenly broadcast from the podium.

"Wow, Captain Constipation must've been a big shot." Alex was glad he had the key to this boss chest.

PHHEWW

Immediately a hatch opened at the bottom of the UFO and lowered to the ground. As it lowered, steps appeared on its surface. At this time, Alex heard sounds of footsteps approaching the entrance to the hangar. "You animals have no hearts!" he shouted as he was forced to unseal another pile of gold to block it off. As soon as the hatch reached the ground, Alex ascended its steps as fast as possible.

"Close the hatch!" he shouted at no one in particular, but tried to sound as commanding and motivational as possible, hoping that it would make a difference.

"Yes, Sir. Closing hatch," the same girl's voice from downstairs responded.

Alex's eyes widened slightly. 'It worked. I need to put time aside for that motivational speaking class...'

"Random voice, can we fly out of here?" Alex asked.

"Certainly, Sir. Would you like for me to open the sky hatch?"

"Open it! Let's fly!"

"Immediately, Sir." At the top of the UFO, the ceiling suddenly opened in two halves with each side being drawn into the wall. A circular black tunnel was revealed. Soon after, a crack of light came down as another gate some distance above opened in a similar fashion, quickly filling the entire vertical tunnel with light.

The UFO ascended upwards at high velocity, leaving the base, and then continuing upwards into the sky until Area 51 could only be seen as a small square below.

"Sir, attempted external override of vessel command has been detected."

'They must be trying to get back control!' Alex realized. He immediately went back through his memory of sci-fi movies and random technospeak to try to formulate a proper command.

"Block all remote external access! Immediately override and delete all access codes and identities! Create a new manual access code to be used by me only!"

"Immediately Sir." Several seconds later, the voice spoke again. "Your directives have been completed, Sir. Remote access is no longer possible. Would you like to create your 8-digit personal access code now?"

"Sure." Alex thought long and hard about the ideal code. 'I should use something random so that no one will easily guess it and steal my mothership.' He closed his eyes as thousands of numbers flew around him in his imagination. A few moments later, 'It's no good. Let's go with old faithful.'

"69696969," he announced.

"Access code set, Sir. Do you have any other commands?"

"Do you have enough energy to fly to New York?"

"Sir, aircraft 2 6 Delta Bravo Yankee Zulu can collect enough energy through solar power to be perpetually self-sufficient. I can fly anywhere you wish."

"Ain't nobody got time for that. Your name from now on is the USS Coco."

"Yes, Sir."

"And call me Husband."

"Yes, Husband."

This was the life. "Coco, take us to Brooklyn, NY. Oh...do you have a stealth function?"

"Yes, Husband. Coco has camouflage technology which effectively appears as invisibility.

"Turn it on. Also, do you have hologram technology?"

"Yes, Husband."

"Create a hologram version of yourself to talk to me. I feel I'm being neglected."

"What form would you like me to take, Husband?"

Alex thought about it. He should try to let Coco's personality shine. This was his robowife, after all. "Appear in the form that you think best shows who you are."

Coco was silent for several moments. Finally, a light beam came from the roof of the ship and outlined an extremely detailed, lifelike silhouette. This was Coco, Alex's true love.

It was Jabba the Hutt in a dress.

...

Alex almost told her to fly back to Area 51, before deciding to compromise. 'Personality is overrated. Let's try skin-deep.'

"Change it! Blonde haired beauty!"

Coco changed her form to a blonde-haired, petite, beautiful girl with blue eyes, in a chrome silver evening gown. 'The best wife is an obedient wife,' Alex thought as he removed Balisarda from his neck.

"Coco, what facilities are on board?"

"Husband, besides for the Captain's deck, there are two private quarters, a fully functional bathroom, a kitchen, an equipment storage room, and a training room."

"Where are the private quarters?"

"They're on either side of the hatch, Husband."

Alex went and found the private quarters and promptly passed out in a bed. It had been a long mission and he was extremely exhausted.

That night he had a nightmare about Area 51. He was haunted by the screams of the gold he left behind.