Chapter 40: Moving Forward

A week passed.

On the seventh day after the battle, tension grew inside Hailey's soul. She felt ever growing confusion inside, unsure of what to truly believe and how to feel.

 She mostly kept to herself in her room, away from Girston and especially away from Carlos. Just the thought of him was enough for her blood to boil.

He had left her to die. He abandoned her so easily, though he claimed to love her.

Without even recalling all the other times they argued or had falling outs, it was obvious he truly had no attachment to Hailey. The truth, while it hurt, didn't surprise her. It was something she expected, despite knowing the world of the living for such a short while.

Hailey curled up on her bed, hugging her legs close to her chest. She looked over her hands, opening and closing them, searching for something, someone's, warmth. The longer she lingered, the more her mind fell on Takabi.

His beautiful eyes.

His carefree presence and unbelievable strength.

The way his voice was a perfect mix between deep and light, but held an untouched gentle tone.

She found it funny, how she went from fearing him to generally wanting to get to know him more. To understand why he was who he was, and what made him tick. It wasn't a sick obsession, it wasn't a hate with mutual respect.

It was pure feelings.

The idea of her having feelings for him was comical in her head. Hailey understood though that her feelings weren't her own. They were her original's, Nana's, feelings. She was simply a copy of a girl who has what she wished she did.

There was something that still pulled at her soul, if she had one. Hailey felt something connecting him and her, even if they wouldn't want it.

It wasn't Nana.

It was something else.

Before she could begin to contemplate what, a knock came to her door. Immediately, she could tell it was Girston, as Carlos never knocked on her door. "Just a minute," She said through the wood, stepping off her bed and pulling her drawers open. She slipped on a pair of dark jeans and a red T-Shirt.

Fully clothed, she approached the door to her room, turning the gold handle and opening it slowly. Sure enough, Girston's multi colored eyes peered down at her through his clear lenses.

He was dressed in a blue suit, tie loose and top three buttons undone to expose his collarbone. His slightly tanned skin was coated in a thin layer of sweat, and he held a nervous posture. "I'm going to a meeting. If you choose to avoid Carlos, make sure you don't start fighting. I can't afford any more damage to this place."

Hailey nodded, leaning against her doorway. "I was going to take a walk anyway. I need to clear my head."

Girston looked down the hall to his left. His eyes fell on Carlos' door. It was closed, and the button on the handle was pushed out, meaning the knob was locked. Making sure to speak low, Girston leaned in Hailey's ear and said, "Still confused?"

"Very. I… I don't know what to do anymore."

"I can relate," He said. Hailey watched as he made his way towards the coat rack by the door. She walked from her room to the kitchen, eyes locked on him as she leaned over the counter.

"Between us, I've been having… Dreams. Kairas, and Takabi. My mind has been going back to when they were children. Toddlers, and I had such high hopes for them." He slipped a coat on, then grabbed the fedora from the right side. "That day replays over and over in my head. The day I got my scars. Takabi has grown into such a powerful boy, and he and Kairas look so much like I did back then. Handsome, they are."

He looked back at Hailey. The girl's eyes widened at his eyes. His eyes, for the first time since she came to know him, was full of a lingering regret and tears. He looked as if he was aching inside. As if he was holding onto such a great deal of pain and he was ready to break. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I miss my kids so terribly… But I can't go back anymore. I've done too much."

"Where is all this coming from," Hailey asked him. "You were always so sure of what you were doing before."

"I…" He trailed off, wiping the single tear from his cheek. "I am not sure."

"Look, go clear your head before that meeting. Think, before you do anything stupid."

Nodding, he opened the door and descended down the front porch steps, snow trailing and crunching under his shoes as his silhouette disappeared in the snowstorm. Hailey shut the door, resting her forehead against the wood.

She had never seen Girston that way.

He had always been calm. Collected, mature, and seemingly untouchable in every regard.

That single tear, the way he spoke, and how his voice cracked at his last words.

Hailey, and everyone of his current enemies, had him wrong. At least now.

He needed help. He needed to be freed from whatever life he was stuck in now.

Carlos came around the corner then. His eyes fell on Hailey's back, and he crept over to her, before placing a swift slap on her butt. She snapped around, ready to curse him out, but he forced her back against the door and aggressively stuck his tongue in her mouth.

She hesitated at the kiss, before roughly shoving him off of her and wiping her mouth. Carlos broke into a laugh, entering the kitchen and opening the fridge. "Listen. I can't apologize enough about what I did back then." His head came up from the door, and eyes fell on hers. "I screwed up big time."

"You left me to die," She spat bitterly. "If Takabi didn't show up, I wouldn't be here. Then you'd have a kid to raise all on your own."

"Yeah," He replied quietly. "That wouldn't be easy, but it worked out in the end, right? Let's go out tonight. I wanna apologize properly. Maybe some fun on a ferris wheel?"

"Not interested," She replied coldly, sitting on a chair by the window and reaching for boots next to the door, slipping them on. "I made plans with myself already. I need some air for a while."

"When will you be back," He asked.

"Don't know," She replied dryly. She stood, ignoring the fact she didn't have a coat, and said, "Don't wait up," before she opened the cabin door and slammed it shut behind her, moving slowly through the snow, eyes half open as she struggled with the cold and wind.

Carlos watched her from the window, before sighing and sitting at the wooden table in the kitchen in silence.