Returning home

Now that Manda is dead and I had a lot of meat to cook I decided to draw back everyone's attention. I made my way to shizune to check her condition which made tsunade snap back to medic mode.

She checked her pulse and inspected the wounds along with chakra sensing using the mystic jade palm technique. After that she woke up and looked happy to see everyone was ok. Naruto ranted about the roads and jiraiya kept staring at me.

He then asked gamabunta about what I just did. "Jiraiya that was one of the two great sages of the wolf pack. They are a tribe of vicious warriors who don't like humans. They hate the snakes for killing their previous alpha which led to miss cloth leading them. She is unrelenting on her mission which that brat just helped accomplish. I must return and report this to everyone. Kids we're leaving" he bellowed before puffing into smoke.

Then naruto went on a rant about wanting to swap to wolves. I got miffed "idiot if you reverse summoned yourself you would have got the fox summons who are master pranksters". The look of horror that dained upon him was priceless. Katsuyu helped heal everyone's injuries so I offered her a piece of Manda which she gladly took. What a nice slug.

After that I lifted the dump truck sized meat over my head and carried it away to butcher it. The others only stared before chasing after me.

Later that night we all were feasting on Manda meat. I made garlic python steaks along with poached python curry, southern fried snake chunks and used a chakra brewing method my sister made to make as many bottles of habushu as I could.

After eating those dishes I could feel myself being constructed in the warm embrace of the flavours as they guided me to new levels of flavour town. I screamed "UUuMmMmEEeIIiIiiiii!!!!" As I felt the food fighter jutsu kick in.

My chakra reserves skyrocketed easily putting me at elite jounin but not close enough to sannin. My kugi counter directly leaped from 23 to 32. My muscles fibres and bones began to tear and reform to become much stronger. I feel I could take tsunades punch no problem now.

Another thing that happened was I absorbed all the poison from the meat and habushu and felt my blood improve as it's flow became faster. My senses sharpened with my kinetic being the biggest. I became more durable and much more flexible easily pulling off the inosuke contortion.

While the others came down from their highs after tasting my cooking they realised I'd changed again. Naruto couldn't believe it. "Teme is this how you get strong so quickly. Kuuuuuuusssooooo ttaaaarrrreee. If I had that body my ramen power would be unbeatable". He howled in frustration.

The two medic nin stared wide eyed as they measured the changes in my body. They began feeling me up and commenting amazing and reciting medical terms which I'm unfamiliar with to each other. Tsunade then questioned "you weren't kidding when you said you were having problems with poison? From what I can tell your body is consuming it and breaking it down to improve your blood and viscera while expelling the unnecessary parts through your skin."

I nodded "yeah I was worried if there was a limit to it. Like am I incompatible with certain poisons or how much I can take at once and in which frequency." Shizune and tsunade began debating while jiraiya looked at my silky hair and drank my habushu. I promptly stored the rest away for my sister. I also have to take to Hana when I get back concerning something about her family. The meat will make a nice gift.

While the girls continued to debate I began to make bone broth from Manda and offered some to everyone. It was delicious and led to my bones and muscles condensing again. Bone marrow is highly nutritious.

The girls then called me over "boy when you asked to be reached were you serious". I dropped my jovial attitude and replied " I was serious about learning from shizune as her skills are necessary. I would also be honoured to learn under you as well lady tsunade." She then let out a deep exhale.

" once we return and I heal the old man we will take you as are disciple. Your body is a miracle that will need to be researched as this poisonous immunity you are developing along with your other mutations. I can tell your lungs are significantly stronger than a normal ninja and your sensory appendages are similarly so. When we return you will study under us and learn our skills but only what we deem necessary, understood!"

I beamed with joy and lowered my head to the ground in a traditional fashion. "Understood Senseis!!!!" They laughed and tsunade said "good boy now pass me some more habushu, a good student always pours for their master."

That night the first thing I learned from my masters is how to use medical ninjitsu to strengthen my alcohol tolerance. As well as what snacks pair well with what alcohol. The prawn crackers they had paired excellently with the alcohol and the rest of the meal was delicious.

The next day we returned to tanzaku to gather tsunade's things. There was also some unfortunate destruction after jiraiya learned a nasty fact. Shizune is actually Madame tonton author of reverse icha icha series. It features various work such as the gods of Shinobi in the cave, the three way deadlock, the bat summoners journey, ninjas of love, daimyo debauchery, the sais of passion, kink in the chamomile, sweet samurai and last but not least the snake and the frog.

Jiraiya felt rage like never before which led to him stealing and burning her manuscript. This was not well received so shizune immediately wrote a new 800 page book called "jiraiyas trip to the sound village". He retaliated with "icha icha venom; the boy chef and the lonely black widow".

They went back and forth publishing multiple massive books within 3 days which actually topped the charts. I was not pleased when I learned I had been used in jiraiyas books and forbid shizune sensei from using me on the toad. Even naruto was dragged into it for Christ's sake.

Multi shadow clone jutsu - icha icha harem and icha icha reverse harem were now the best sellers on the market. When they finally calmed down they made up and agreed to write a new series called.

Icha icha balanced with bisexual themes so it can be used for both genders. Tsunade had a constant nose bleed as she checked their work while I blushed at how raunchy this shit is. I had to proof read their work to make sure they didn't torment me. Naruto left to practice rasengan the bastard.

After that whole debacle we made our way back to konoha and were greeted with cheers from the sannin returning. Tsunade and shizune made their way to the hospital and cured hiruzen within hours which led to her being made hokage reluctantly.

Meanwhile I had to face my own struggle, an army of akimichi spearheaded by my sister who learned I produced numerous new snakes dishes that even the sannin couldn't help becoming addicted to.

Yare yare daze.

((A/n. Pls support me on patreo. It's in the description of the fic))))