If only she knew

Xavier's pov~

I got informed that a member of some Rival gang was seen roaming in our area. As my dad was not here so I had to take care of that matter myself. I sent my men to track him down and they told me that he was seen at a fair.

I knew this gang well. They kidnap and sell young kids to different countries for prostitution or slavery. Also, they are involved in activities like selling drugs to teens. We also have a huge gang running but at least we don't do such low business involving innocent people. We have our rules and we don't hurt or do anything illegal to innocent people specially kids.

Except for the fighting club but there too we don't allow teens for dangerous fights. All the people who come there fight willingly for money and are never allowed to hurt each other more than bruises or dislocated joints. But like all the other mafias existing around, we fight and kill whoever comes in our way without remorse as the underworld has its demands. 

I told my men to stay outside and wait for me. I could have ordered my men to kill him but I like to take care of these things myself, else I am not satisfied. I wore my usual attire and went to the fair. We saw him hiding in the dark area checking out some girls who were standing there.

Fucking bastard!

He thinks he can kidnap a girl from my area and get away with it? 

He thinks wrong!

I cocked my gun and followed him. I informed my men to surround the area. He could possibly have had more people with him. I pressed my gun in his back upon reaching close and motioned him to move towards the woods.

I always give people a chance before I decide to finish them so I gave him one as well but instead of accepting my offer, he threatened me. I should have laughed at his stupidity for threatening his death but instead of wasting my time upon that, I did what I was supposed to. I was about to alert my men to check for his other members when I heard a shrill scream.

Fuck!

I looked in the direction of the voice and saw someone running away but I was fast and grabbed the person before they could have escaped and caused a whole new mess for me. As soon as I placed my hands on the petite figure, I knew it was a girl. I held her against a tree and put my hand on her mouth stopping her from making any noise.

Her lips felt so warm and soft under my hand. Her eyes were shut tightly and she was shaking. My heart started jumping violently when I recognized her.

What the fuck is happening? 

It must be some kind of sick joke.

Out of all the fucking people, how could she be here? Was she following me?

How did she know it was me?

I wanted to ask so many questions but her condition worried me.

Her hands were on my chest shaking uncontrollably, tears coming down her face and wetting my hand as well. 

I knew what she might have been feeling. I felt the exact same way when I first saw a man murdered in front of me. I was depressed for weeks.

It's not easy to see a life being taken away!

And now I do this myself...

But for me it was different. I was a part of this darkness my whole life but she is too innocent for that. I felt guilty because I knew she won't be able to forget that.

I never cared about my truth, my identity or my secrets but I didn't know why I wanted to hide those from her. I didn't want her to find out that it was me.

Since when did I start caring about what anyone will think? 

I removed my hand from her mouth and she weakly requested me not to kill her.

Kill? 

I can't even think about hurting her...I just don't know why... 

But only if she knew!

Her lightly tanned skin looked so soft under the moonlight. Subconsciously, my hand went to her face and I wiped away her tears. She opened her eyes and looked at me. As soon as our eyes met she lost her balance.

I caught her shaking body and pressed her to my chest tightly.

I wish I could erase her memory...

I wish I could take that back...

To my surprise she hugged me back when I was expecting her to kick me. She sobbed in my chest, the warmth of her breath melting me.

I held her in my arms for God knows how long. I forgot there was a dead body laying nearby which needed to be taken care of. I forgot I had unfinished business.

Suddenly she left my embrace, shoving me hard in the chest and ran away without looking back. I gestured to my men to let her go who were hiding in the trees. They took care of the body while I went home.

Reaching my room, I locked it and threw myself on the bed. Why does she have to see me like that? It could have been someone else. Anyone but not her.

I spent this whole week avoiding her at school. After the park incident she took something of mine with her. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with me. She is on my mind and I am not able to shake her off.

I know I have to stop my fucking heart. She will never ever think about me the way I am thinking about her especially not after today. She will definitely hate me.

At first she was nowhere in my life and now suddenly she is everywhere...

I took my sleeping pills and rested my head on the pillow, a warm liquid escaping my eyes.

Yes Xavier Millers was crying...remember he is a human too or is he? 

Flask backs of haunting memories came rushing to my head and I clutched my eyes tightly.

Why did fate choose me for all of its cruelty? 

***

"Bella what happened?" Sandi's voice hit my ears, "Take deep breaths, what's wrong?" 

I didn't know how I managed to reach back at the fair. He let me go. I was half expecting him to shoot me from behind when I shoved him and ran. Sandi was still there where I left her.

I ran into her arms. I was out of breath and my body was sweating in the cold night. She was worried and was asking questions but I was not able to tell her anything.

"Le...let's go," I managed to say and she did what I said. We took a cab and came to my house. I heard Sandi calling her mom telling her that she will stay with me tonight and I can't be more thankful to her for that. I was leaning on her the whole way and she was hugging my still slightly shaking body.

We reached home and fortunately mom and dad were asleep. We rushed to my room and I rushed to the bathroom. I was feeling nauseous and wanted to throw up but nothing came out. Sandi was telling me to come out from outside.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair bun was almost open, hairs escaping out and tangled. My face was burning red and one of my contact lenses was lost. I took out the other one and washed my face. I came out of the washroom with the hairbrush in my hand. I didn't have enough energy left to brush my hair.

Sandi was sitting on the bed with a worried expression on her face. Watching me coming out she came towards me and held my shoulders ushering me towards the bed.

"Now tell me what happened? You disappeared in the crowd suddenly and then came back like there was a serial killer chasing you. Why don't you just list-" Her speech was interrupted when I spoke.

"There was," I said, tears starting to build up in my eyes as the vision of that dead body and blood came back.

"What?" her eyes squinted in confusion and then widened in shock. 

I told her everything from Xavier killing someone and then hugging me and letting me go with the evidence of murder without hurting me.

Both of us were sitting there like statues.

"I would go to the police tomorrow." I said suddenly determined for my mission. "He will pay..." my words were muffled by Sandi's hand on my mouth.

"Shhhh, shut up. You are not going anywhere." she said, her hand still on my mouth. "And you have to listen to me this time."

"But why Sandi? He is a murderer. I saw that with my eyes. He killed an innocent man." I replied pushing her hand away.

"And how do you know that he was innocent?" she looked at me with a straight face.

"I..."

"No Bells please, don't even think about it. They are dangerous people. Have you forgotten all the things we heard about them? And the people they deal with aren't innocent either. They can handle cops but what will they do to you if they find out which they certainly will? I can't let you risk your safety again. Promise me Bella you will not do anything like that, promise me." She looked like she was on verge of crying.

"But..."

"No but. You have to promise me or I will tell uncle and aunt. I will take all the measures to stop you." She looked determined. When Sandi is being protective she is just like a stubborn mother.

"Okay, okay!" I thought about what she said and I knew she was right. This is not a movie. I don't care much about myself but I can't risk my family's or friend's life. God knows what they are capable of.

She hugged me and later brushed my hair for me while I sat there with a numb body and brain.

Alex was right!