17

Chapter 16 Holiday Spite and Holiday Spirit

With the second week of December came the sign-up sheet for student holiday plans—whether they'd return home or stay at Hogwarts. The sheet was posted on the bulletin board in each common room on Sunday morning. As soon as it went up, James immediately put his name down to go home, as did Remus, Peter, and Sirius, though the latter had a sour look on his face. Clearly, he'd rather stay at Hogwarts alone than return to that "hell-hole," as Sirius called it. Harry and Tonks exchanged a look and the latter shrugged. Harry was about to write his name and hers to stay at the castle, but James grabbed his wrist.

"And what do you think you're doing?"

"Um…writing my name?"

"Yes, you're writing your name. But you're putting it in the wrong column, Russet."

Harry blinked, both at the obvious use of his new Marauder nickname and the statement itself. "Huh?"

"Obviously, you're coming home with me," James declared, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm not a stray dog you found on the street that you decided to adopt because it was cute," Harry pointed out, though the offer both surprised and pleased him. He'd not even thought about accompanying James home for the holidays. He'd simply decided to stay at Hogwarts like he'd done every year previous. "That's Padfoot," Harry added with a faint smile. Sirius was still a bit cold toward him about the whole pranking-Slytherins thing, and his unease about returning home only made it worse.

Sirius scowled, clearly not amused by Harry's playful comment. But the rest snickered.

James, however, frowned. "You're missing the point! It's a Marauder tradition to spend as much of Christmas break together as possible, and this year it's at my house. And, forgive me for being blunt, but you don't really have anywhere else to go, do you?"

Harry opened his mouth, stung, but Tonks replied before he could.

"We could always go back to the Leaky Cauldron," she said. "Tom can set us up with all the firewhiskey we could want!"

"Sounds good to me. Can I come?" Sirius chimed in.

"No, because you're all coming home with me!" James protested.

Harry sighed in exasperation. "I told you, we're not stray orphaned puppies!"

"But you are orphaned," Sirius said bluntly. Harry cringed—he'd never liked that word, and he preferred not to think of himself that way. He had his aunt and uncle (however terrible they were), and he had Hogwarts. He didn't need anything else.

Peter roughly elbowed Sirius in the ribs. "Oy!" he hissed. Sirius affected an apologetic look, and Harry tried not to be hurt by the fact that Sirius had probably said it in the first place just to get to him. He had been doing that a lot lately. What better way to take out one's frustration than on the bloke that started it all, right?

"Your parents wouldn't mind?" Harry finally asked, trying to crush the rising hope within him. Now that the idea was there, Harry knew he'd like nothing better than to spend the holidays with his family—his real, blood family. "I wouldn't want to be a bur—"

"Stop right there," James said with unusual firmness. "You would not be a burden, as I've repeatedly told these two idiots." He bumped Sirius's shoulder and lightly elbowed Remus in the arm. Sirius scowled and Remus smiled sheepishly. "In fact, my parents love it when the guys are over. My mum especially loves to fuss over us. Two more will only make them happier."

"Two?" Harry asked.

"Well, we can hardly leave your sister alone without her better half," James said with a grin.

"Excuse me?" Tonks crossed her arms. "Since when is he my better half? If anything, I'm his better half."

Remus rolled his eyes. "That's all well and good, James. But shouldn't you clear it with your parents first?"

Unexpectedly Harry snorted with laughter.

"What?" Tonks demanded.

"Nothing," Harry said laughingly. "Just, usually you're the adult. You are the oldest, after all."

Tonks smacked him on the shoulder. "What have I told you about mentioning a woman's age?"

"Sorry?" he said insincerely. Tonks glared and Harry gulped. The others snickered.

"Any more of your cheek, young man, and you'll be grounded until you graduate," she declared.

"Yes, mum," Harry replied fearfully, hiding a smile.

Tonks's scowl deepened and she stepped closer. Harry took a half-step back, but before he could go further she grabbed him around the shoulders and ruffled his hair, ignoring his protests. Harry, laughing, tried and failed to push her away.

"Cheeky brat," Tonks said affectionately. "I'll teach you manners eventually."

Harry struggled, then finally broke free. He was about to make yet another cheeky comment when he caught a glimpse of Sirius's expression—his face was hard, but there was a heartbreaking, wistful longing in his eyes as he watched the two of them, siblings in all but blood, banter and tease.

Out of nowhere, Harry tackled Tonks to the ground—and into Sirius. He cried out in protest and crashed to the floor. Their flailing legs caught James, who tried to steady himself by grabbing Peter's shoulder but only succeeded in pulling the smaller boy down as well. Peter grabbed Remus's wrist and yanked him down, too, and they both went down with indignant cries. In other words, in less than a second all five boys plus Tonks had fallen to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs and cries and grunts of protest.

"Ow," Sirius complained, shoving at Harry. "Get off me, you wanker! What did I ever do to you?"

"That's quite the list at this point. But right now? You looked depressed," Harry said frankly. Sirius blinked in shock. Harry smiled and offered his hand down. Sirius took it, his face contemplative. Then a wicked grin crossed his face and he yanked Harry back down again, tripping James. Within seconds, the rest of them were back on the floor, actively wrestling and breathless from laughter.

After a while, the rest of the common room grew tired of their antics, so the boys picked themselves back up.

"So, James," Tonks began once they were all back on their feet, hair mussed and robes askew and flushed from laughter. "Are you going to make sure we're allowed to come to yours over Christmas or not?" she asked sternly, planting her hands on her hips. Harry failed to stifle a snort of laughter.

"Fine, fine." James waved his hand dismissively. "I'll write them right now, mum," he added, smirking. Tonks's jaw dropped and Harry tried to hide his laughter behind his hand.

Tonks cuffed him on the head. "This is all your fault," she said sternly.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. As if it wasn't deliberate that time."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "That's beside the point. Go…plan a prank or something, and stop teasing me."

The five Marauders instantly snapped to attention and saluted in unison. "Yes, ma'am," they declared.

Tonks huffed and retreated upstairs to the dorm, leaving the five boys to dissolve into helpless laughter once again.

"Merlin, my ribs hurt," James said breathlessly after several minutes.

"Mine, too," Peter agreed, rubbing said ribs and struggling to catch his breath still.

"I needed that, I think," Remus said, wiping away tears of mirth. Harry smiled back at him—the next full moon was the following night, which meant he didn't have much to laugh about at the moment. Sirius didn't say anything, but he did look to be in better spirits, which was all Harry had hoped to accomplish by tackling him indirectly in the first place.

"So…prank?" James asked, rubbing his hands together. Grins spread across all five faces, and the rest of the evening was spent in deep planning mode for their Christmas prank.

Monday, however, was a difficult day. It was the day of the full moon, so Remus was already pretty bad off. But, despite nausea, the typical aches and pains, and an intense headache and dizziness, Remus insisted on going to classes, even though all the others tried to make him stay in bed just this once. Harry kept getting sideways looks from the others that made him roll his eyes. They still didn't seem completely convinced that he truly didn't care that Remus was a werewolf, and since it was the day of the full moon it was more than obvious. To allay their concerns, Harry took on the role of Remus's crutch. The boy could barely walk straight without some assistance, not to mention the bad limp he had developed by lunchtime, and Harry was the only one who shared all of Remus's classes (with the exception of History of Magic, but they had convinced him to skive off that class at least and take a nap instead, seeing as it was populated with only a half a dozen Ravenclaws and one Slytherin girl.

Potions was the worst. According to Peter, Remus always struggled a little in Potions because of his heightened sense of smell, but on the day of the full moon it was always the worst. Every smell in that room turned his stomach and made him nauseous, dizzy, or both. And anyone who bothered to look could tell that he was struggling with his brew, and halfway through class he just gave up and read the instructions aloud for Peter to follow. And the Marauders were not the only ones who noticed.

"Is Remus okay?" Harry heard Alice murmur a few rows behind him. Tonks answered in an undertone and Harry caught her concerned gaze out of the corner of his eye.

"What's wrong with Lupin?" Severus muttered to Harry as he stirred their Invigoration Draught.

"He caught some kind of bug, but refused to stay in bed," Harry answered as vaguely as he could. He focused on precisely slicing his valerian roots, hoping to dissuade further conversation. But he couldn't stop his own worried looks in Remus's direction. He saw that Peter had to steady Remus's hands more than once before he finally gave up, and James and Sirius had already ruined their potion because they kept watching Remus rather than paying attention to the directions.

"Are you sure it's a bug? It seems a much more…frequent ailment," Severus hinted.

Harry made himself take a deep breath before he answered. "He has a weak immune system. He's sick a lot." Harry shrugged, trying to pass it off.

"It seems to strike at fairly…regular intervals," Severus countered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, it comes and goes with the season changes. It only recently got significantly colder. Don't forget to add the shrivelfig," Harry added, diverting Severus's attention back to their potion. Severus scowled faintly but didn't pursue the subject. At that moment.

Rather, he waited until class was nearly over. Then, after Slughorn complimented their invigoration draught, Severus said, rather loudly, "Maybe we should give some to Lupin. He could use a little…invigoration, don't you think?"

"Severus…" Harry began warningly, but he was ignored.

"He's not drinking anything that you had a hand in making," Sirius retorted hotly across the room. "You'd sooner poison him than not."

"Sirius," Remus began weakly, but they didn't hear him.

"Oh, is that so? If I were going to poison anyone, it would be you, Black," Severus sneered.

"Now, boys…" Professor Slughorn began.

"Hah. Like any poison you can make would actually do anything."

Severus was now on his feet. "At least I make poison on purpose. What is that sludge you're working on? Perfume for mummy? I'm sure she'll love it."

Sirius jolted to his feet, wand already drawn. "Mention my family again. I dare you."

"Oh, is she still family to you? Funny, I thought you had abandoned your family when you ran away. For a new, pretend family full of blood traitors like Potter," Severus sneered.

"Severus!" Harry said sharply. "Enough."

"I'll show you blood!" Sirius shouted over Harry. He raised his wand and started bringing it down in an arc, incantation already on his lips. Severus was also on his feet with his wand drawn, ready to retaliate.

Bang. The whole class's attention was diverted to Professor Slughorn, who had his wand raised and had just released a spell like a firecracker.

"Now really!" the professor said. "There's no need to be up in arms. It's nearly Christmas, we should be enjoying the holiday spirit!"

Sirius swore loudly and colorfully, calling both the professor and Severus some very nasty and impressively creative names. Slunghorn blinked in shock.

"Language, Mr. Black! That's five points from Gryffindor. And detention with me tonight for threatening another student."

"Fine," Sirius snapped. Then he grabbed his book bag and stormed out of the room, leaving his cauldron and other potions supplies for James to clean up.

"I said enough," Harry hissed as Severus sat back down.

"Don't you tell me what to do," Severus snapped. Then he, too, swept out of the classroom. Harry huffed in frustration as he finished tidying up his work station, then moved to help James clean up Sirius's things. The rest of the class filed out as well, murmuring and whispering amongst themselves.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on. Sirius was present in their next lesson, but he was furiously quiet, stewing in anger and frustration. Harry wondered if he'd be composed enough to deal with Moony that night. At best, they'd tire each other out.

Luckily, there were no major issues during Remus's transformation that evening. Padfoot was rather temperamental, and stayed far away from Russet where possible, but he didn't pick any fights needlessly. By the end of the night, all five boys were bruised and battered and exhausted but not seriously injured.

They made it back to the castle barely an hour before classes began, which was barely enough time to clean up, change, and get their things together. Remus was already resting in the hospital wing, having been picked up by Madame Pomphrey right at sunrise. Classes were a chore to get through, and in fact they were barely awake through most of them. Then the four boys visited Remus during lunch. After only about fifteen minutes of conversation, though, their exhaustion caught up to them and all five fell asleep half-laying on the bed all around Remus.

The following weekend was the last Hogsmeade weekend before the holidays. The boys took advantage of it to purchase gifts as well as supplies for their planned Christmas prank, to be enacted the very last day of term. As the castle and its inhabitants prepared for the holidays, everyone got caught up in the excitement. Even Sirius threw himself into the prank with enthusiasm. And finally, after a week of preparation and a long night of setting up, it was the last day of term.

Classes were still held, though end-of-term exams had been held the previous day. Most of the instructors attempted to review the material from the exams, but no one wanted to pay attention. There were too many distractions: snow in the corridors that disappeared on contact with the floor, archways and doors hung with mistletoe, singing suits of armor, and singing classmates.

Beneath every display of mistletoe was a sticking charm that would only be released when the person stuck by it was kissed (or two hours passed—no one wanted to keep someone stuck forever). And they were placed so strategically that some corridors were entirely blocked by people stuck beneath the mistletoe, awaiting their kiss. All except the main corridor and the entrance hall, which had been turned into a sheet of ice—perfect for skating on. And only one of the Marauders could vanish the ice, because there was a trick to it that none of the teachers would know.

It was common throughout the day to see students skipping classes to skate leisurely in the corridor or the entrance hall. Several students even staged races of their own. Determined not to be beat in terms of mischief, the Marauders also staged a race. The result was a spectacular collision at the top of the main staircase, quite a few bruises, and two weeks' detention after break because James, Sirius, and Remus had accidentally collided with their head of house. None of them had ever seen Professor McGonagall so angry. Everyone in the huge crowd that had gathered also lost points for their house. Not many of the really seemed to mind, however.

There were also a few instances involving mistletoe. James tried countless times to get himself and Lily stuck beneath it, but Lily made it a point to avoid the mistletoe after seeing the first students caught beneath it. James, however, wasn't aware of this, and got himself stuck several times. Marlene McKinnon, James's childhood friend and fellow chaser, laughed and kissed him on the cheek the first time. The second time James wasn't so lucky.

He was walking with the Marauders, but not watching where he was going. And not having been involved in hanging the mistletoe and setting the sticking charms, he did not know where they all ended up, as did Remus, Harry, and Peter. They casually avoided the charmed spot, but James and Sirius got stuck.

The two stared at each other in horror for an infinitely long time, while a crowd gathered and Harry, Remus, and Peter laughed and refused to free them by cancelling the spell, despite their impassioned begging. Finally, they stared at each other, and Sirius's lips started to twitch. Then, with a wide grin, Sirius leaned in and—licked James on the cheek. He sprang back with a cry of disgust, then blinked and realized he was free.

"The hell?"

Sirius grinned and stuck out his tongue. "I guess dog kisses count, too," he quipped, then he sprinted away and James chased after him while everyone watching burst into laughter.

Finally, it was time for the feast. The Great Hall was spectacularly decorated for the holidays, with a dozen huge pine trees along the walls draped in tinsel and fairy lights and glittering glass balls, many of them enchanted and featuring picturesque winter scenes. The sun had nearly set, and the first of the stars were showing in the clear winter sky reflected on the ceiling. Huge wreaths hung above the head table and the main doors, appearing to hang in the sky. The whole hall was lit with soft golden candlelight from the gold and silver candles on each table.

Harry caught his breath as they entered, and the Marauders all gave him knowing looks.

"Quite something, isn't it?" Remus said quietly as they headed to their seats. Harry nodded wordlessly.

"And we're about to make it even better," James added in a whisper, grinning as he sat on Harry's other side. Remus and Peter sat across from them. Peter was fairly bouncing in anticipation, and Remus's whole face was lit with awe and anticipation.

"It never gets old," he said with a smile.

"Okay, snow when the food appears, everything else waits until dessert. Got it?" James muttered, leaning in so they could all hear.

When all the students had arrived and taken their seats, Dumbledore stood and wished them all a Happy Christmas and gave a short speech about holiday goodwill and what a great term they'd had. He ended by saying, "Tuck in!" and all the previously empty platters were suddenly filled with delicious-looking dishes of all sorts.

The five Marauders gave it an extra few seconds, then subtly raised their wands and murmured in unison, "ninguis cado."

Almost imperceptibly, snowflakes that were neither cold nor wet began to drift down from the charmed ceiling, disappearing as soon as they came into contact with something. Soft exclamations of awe swept the room like a whisper and conversations seemed muted, subdued. Many looked up and were surprised to find a cloudless, starry sky above them. The boys exchanged a smile—phase one, complete.

Dinner conversation was as per usual. Harry helped himself to roast pheasant, boiled potatoes, and redcurrant jelly on a roll, laughing as Sirius teased James for his failed attempts to trap himself and Lily under the mistletoe.

"It's been doomed to failure from the start. She's just not the one, Prongs," Sirius said, shaking his head mournfully.

"What does that make you, then, Padfoot, that you were the one to kiss him?"

"It's a simple sign of affection," Sirius answered primly. "Dogs do it all the time."

"You weren't a dog when you decided to practice your doggy kisses on my face," James said with a grimace.

Remus coughed into his pumpkin juice. "He actually licked you?"

James nodded, making another face.

"For some reason, it counted, though," Harry pointed out with a shrug.

James shuddered dramatically. "I don't even want to know what that might mean."

"It means I like you, Jamie," Sirius said huskily, leaning around Harry to get closer to James.

Harry made a face and shoved Sirius away, nearly pushing him off the bench. "Keep your tongue to yourself," he said. "Bad dog."

Sirius pouted, giving Harry his famous puppy-dog eyes. Harry shoved the other half of his roll into Sirius's mouth (smearing red, sticky jam all over his nose and chin) and then turned to Remus and started a conversation as though nothing had happened.

Sirius sputtered indignantly while Peter and James laughed and Remus tried not to as he explained fairy lights to Harry for show.

When they were all pleasantly full, the food disappeared, to be replaced with all manner of Christmas treats. Naturally Harry reached for the treacle tart first, though he took some traditional Christmas puddings as well. The others also loaded their plates with their chosen desserts. Then, on an unspoken signal, they raised their wands and each activated their part of the grand finale.

Remus set the follow-up spell to their snowflakes, which turned everything they touched—including skin, hair, and clothing—into some combination of red, green, gold, silver, and blue. Harry waved his wand and set the fairies free, and as they flew around the Hall the resembled fireflies, or stars as they went higher. Peter activated the charm on the tinsel that made it float off the trees and shape itself into words—holiday greetings in various languages that changed every thirty seconds or so. James effected the change that made the glass balls flash through combinations of the same colors as the snow. And Sirius readied the fireworks, levitating candles off the tables to slowly circle the hall in tandem with the fairies.

Aside from the gentle swishing and fluttering of the tinsel and the fairies, there was no additional sound. The students were surprised, as the Marauders usually ended things with a bang. The eerie quiet that enveloped the hall was quite uncharacteristic.

Just as desserts were finishing, Peter snuffed out the candlelight and Sirius set off the fireworks. The entire hall exploded into sound—bangs, crackling, and hissing from the fireworks and cries of alarm from the students in the sudden darkness. Multicolor fireworks lit the hall as they exploded in different shapes and sizes, sending sparks flying to the very corners of the Great Hall. And the final phase of the snow was activated by Remus as everyone sprouted either antlers or a white beard or an elf hat (sometimes in combination).

It would have been perfect—except they hadn't factored in how the fairies would react to the noise of the fireworks. They went completely berserk, and Harry was forcibly and unpleasantly reminded of the time Lockhart set a cage full of pixies loose in his classroom. The fairies went for anything shiny, tried to nest in people's hair, upended remaining dishes, and shredded the decorations. It was absolute chaos, and it was only worse because of the continued darkness.

Three fairies decided they particularly liked Sirius's hair and started pulling on it. At the first tug, Sirius let out a very girlish shriek that cut through the rest of the Hall and left everyone who identified it laughing uncontrollably.

This went on for some minutes while the teachers shouted directions and tried to restore order. Finally, the candles were relit, illuminating the absolute disaster that was the Great Hall—scraps of tinsel were scattered everywhere, some still feebly trying to spell out "Joyeux Noel"; glass balls were scattered across the Hall flashing different colors, and pudding and spiced cider was everywhere.

Finally, Dumbledore raised his wand and said, calmly, "Immobilus."

Everything suddenly went still and quiet.

"If you are injured, please stay in your seats. Everyone else, please follow your prefects in an orderly manner back to your common rooms. Be careful of the ice, and do take care to avoid any other…surprises that may await you in the corridors. Happy Holidays, everyone!" the headmaster finished, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.

There was a sudden surge of conversation as the majority of the Hall filed toward the doors. A handful of students, mostly younger years, stayed behind, most of them with burns from hot dishes or liquids and some with particularly nasty scratches caused by the fairies.

When they reached their dorm room, the five boys turned to each other and grinned. "Best. Prank. Ever!" they exclaimed together.