TEQUILA & JOKES

Cerian.

Two months later...

I found myself in yet another club even after I promised  that I will try staying sober for another month or two ,well until after I am done writing my album.

Seriously who was I kidding,everyone and their mother knows I write better when I am drunk or high, since those are the times I only ever get emotional, isn't that enough reason to get drunk?

I screwed my eyes shut and tapped the table continuously as I felt the sharp burn of tequila snake its way down my throat corroding everything in its path, the burn going straight to my eyes and turning on my tear ducts.

Shit! I would never get used to that. After emptying my glass,I slammed it down and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt and shot two fingers at the bartender requesting for a refill.

The lady at the counter all but smiled then asked, " How about I get you something different?"  Her smile was wide,face entirely caked up in twenty dollar make up ,plus it was hard to ignore the missing incisor on her upper jaw. who knocked her tooth out? " I am sure you will like it,its a new mix and.."

"No, thanks, I just want my tequila," I said and ignored the downcast look on her face.

" I am sure that guy over there would like to try out your mixes," I tried saying nicely because for some reason I felt bad for her. Without a word like thank you ,which is a word most people use when someone does something nice for them, she just filled my glass and walked over to her other customers. I will just give her a generous tip on my way out.

Here goes another shot corroding my throat.

Two hours later...

I was joined  at the counter by a fairly large man with a balding head and a double ear lobe and ever since he came ,he's been telling me nothing but knock knock jokes,some of which were funny  and others slightly.

Who was I to judge which jokes were funny or not, when my head was full of nothing but tequila and vodka? Hell I couldn't even remember my name or how to count one to ten backwards.

"knock knock," Blu eyes said, 

"who's there ?" I answered between snickers ,I hadnt even heard the joke and yet I was loosing my shit.

"Kanga-.."

"Kanga who?"

"Kanga roo," I threw my head back ,my laughter coming out like a horse  neighing with a bit of snorting, tears splashing from my eyes, "Another one,another one"

"Okay," He chuckled and emptied his glass then requested for a refill, " Knock knock,"

"Who's there?" I tried not to  a laugh by covering my mouth with my palm.

"Hatch ,"

"Hatch who?" There it was again...another dumb joke that sent me neighing like a horse and not caring about the weird looks I got from everyone. " You should take stand up comedy as your career,you're good,"

" Are you ready for another one?"

" Shoot," I took another swig of my drink. Wish every night i go to clubs I end up meeting  guys like blue eyes.

" Okay," He  sat up straight,then put his hands on my lap. That sent an uncomfortable chill and a twist in my in sides but i ignored them," Knock knock," He begun.

"Who's there?"

"The guy?"

"Umm.. the guy who?" His hand slowly rubbed my hip and traveling north by an inch, I scooted further in my seat away from him.

"The guy who'll get you screaming tonight," He answered ,sending me a suggestive wink.

" Okay not happening,this is where I draw the line,"

His hold on my hand immediately tightened to a hard grip that I was sure would leave imprints and scars by tomorrow and that freaked me out. He freaked me out ,"Don't be like that he said,we were having a good time right?"

"I have to go home, maybe next time," I tried getting away from him,but that seemed impossible and that sacred  me to death especially because no one seemed to care that some ped was trying to get his way with me. Who would care anyway ninety percent of everyone in here is drunk and probably minding their own business.

" Hi babe,you done so we can leave?" A stranger asked, leaning against the counter  next to me.

"Who are you?"  (Yeah  who's  he) Blue asked with pure irritation the grip on my lap loosening.

"I am his boyfriend ,who the hell are you?" He spat then turned to me, " Is he bothering you?"

"No," I shook my head," Let's just go,"

The guy looked oddly familiar but I couldn't put a finger on where I saw him.

"Shall we?" He asked pulling me from my trance, I nodded and slid from my seat almost stumbling to a fall but he grabbed me, "Whoa! slow down,how many have you drunk?"

"I lost count after the third one," I slurred and let him half carry half drag my ass towards the club exit.

A few meters from the door,my hazy eyes caught sight of flashing lights from across the street. Flashing lights from cameras meant paparazzi ,someone must have tipped them that I was here.The situation was so bad in so many reasons ,one ,I couldn't let them see me like this because that only meant another bad review of me on the media which also means management will be on my ass ,lets not even talk about my manager.

"Hey ,I cant go out like this," I said to the guy who just looked at me like a weirdo who by the way was completely drunk.

"Why - oh..that? here.." He pulled off the hat he was wearing then put it on my head and pulled at the front so it could cover half my face," This wont do much ."

I let him lead us out of  the club.

The moment we we stepped out,a cab stopped in front of us ,he opened the door and guided me in then shut the door and waved.

"Where to sir?"

"Muholland drive," I answered and the cab took off leaving my fake boyfriend behind.

One thing remained clear . I knew the guy from somewhere.