MUSIC

Our relationship, just like every other one, wasn't all that perfect. It's like a rollercoaster ride, but with a twist. From an idle state, it slowly sped up and rose, gaining momentum. From there then follow a huge drop and adrenaline kicks in. The loops were different, they were Ferris wheels. We circled it for I don't know how long until we appreciated the view from above. The train took a slow turn and, again, slowly rose. It swayed back and forth just like a Pirate's ship. Then it plunged just like a Logs flume. Water splashed all over and we're soaking wet. But the best part is when we entered the tunnel of love. Such is our story.

I still remember the first day we met. It was a windy afternoon. It felt great as the wind blows onto me. Trees were shedding their brown and crisp leaves. It looks as if boats were floating in the air. I was scampering like a kid after my class but all of it changed when I saw you. I stopped. You were there sitting on the sidewalk. Your body is crouched and your head tucked in. I was curious. I don't feel like having a bad day, to me, or to someone, and so I approached you. I poked your back and so you lifted your face with your eyes tainted red piercing through me. Those beautiful brown eyes were dull and blank. That gorgeous face gave a smile tinged with sadness. You were drowning in tears. There was a sudden urge to know why. The wind blew cold. The leaves fall and painfully slice. I heard them scrunched beneath my feet as I tried to step closer to you. There was tightness in my chest just by looking at you. And so, I asked, "Can I help?"

You didn't reply and just tucked your head back as you bent down again.

With a heavy heart, I moved on. I continued to walk thinking about what'll happen to you if you'd remain there. The sky became darker and rain then poured. It's as if it felt your agony. I rushed back to look if you're fine. You were drenched and shivering. You were still there, still at the same place with the exact same position. I said "Hi." as I offered you my umbrella.

You answered with a hoarse and rattled voice, "Leave me alone." This had me silent for a while.

Your tears were obvious despite the raindrops. The blankness of your eyes grew more and begged me for help, contradictory to what you convey. Your knees quiver more as your entire body shiver from the cold -- you were resisting it. Your lips turn pale and have lost their passion.

"I can't leave you alone. Not many walks by this road and I can't leave you here out in the cold." I extended my arms and been like that for a minute or so. I guess you can't stand my inquisitiveness and so you stood. You held my hand as I helped you go on your two feet. "So, what's your name?"

"S-Ste-lla."

Stella, I knew from there and then that I wanted to know more about you. I want to know your past. I want to know the reason behind those tears. But, I do think that you'll not answer once I asked you about what had happened. I unbuttoned my uniform and gave it to you, which you immediately wrapped around your shoulders. You didn't tell but it's truly obvious that it helped you with the cold. "Where should I drop you off?" I asked.

You looked at me and gave a tremulous smile. "I have none," you replied in a low voice. I was baffled. But, I was also happy since you didn't hesitate to trust me this time. I know I have to get you somewhere, or else you'll be sick.

"None?" my forehead wrinkled.

You bent your head down and wrapped my uniform tighter around you. That may be insensitive of me and so I offered you my home, "Would you mind if you can stay in our house for a while, Stella?"

You didn't answer and, once again, you stared at me blankly. But this one's different. Our eyes were fixed for I don't know how long.

"A-a-I," I stuttered. I just found myself fidgeting my fingers. I looked around while my hands were scratching my nape. I guess I gave an awkward smile for you giggled. Those squeaking sounds were like the tunes in Beethoven's sonatas. My heart beats fast and thumped like a drum. Tud-tud-tud. It's like it was conducting a series of musical instruments. The rain dropped in sequence as if I'm hearing a piano playing do-re-mi. Your eyes glowed like spotlights at the stage. There was suddenly a concert. My ears kept hearing chimes and bell ringing. The winds blew like flutes whistling. It was supposed to be cold yet I felt warmth rise up my body. The sky was supposed to be dreary and yet it was bright and glowing. Everything was in chaos yet disconcertedly in order.

"Thank you," your voice speaks to my heart. Tears ran down my face as I heard everything played in unison. I was drowned in happiness.

We strolled down the road together under that outpour. My umbrella is small and can't accommodate us both. We were soaking wet. That useless umbrella. I laugh just by remembering that moment. We didn't hold hands that day but our paces were in rhythm, that's fine by me. I never knew that from that day, I will love you with all my life.

Now the orchestra was screaming loud even when I tried to cover my ears. It is silent yet the mere pressure makes my eardrums explode. It is as clear as the water, embracing as water. But the feeling of you lingers and cannot be evaporated. I am underwater.

Tell me how can the thought of you bring joy and bitterness at the same time?

You'll slip into my memory and make me happy. But then you'll decide and show me your silent, troubled, squirming, gasping face and make me become flooded in tears. I cannot understand this. Help me solve this, Stella.

Help me wash away that memory just as how you washed away all of your tears with the heavy downpour. Why could I be trapped and he became free once more?

My hands beg for your touch. My ears wanted to hear your voice. My eyes wanted to stare at yours and dive within your soul. I just want to see you dance again to the music. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that wanted to witness your elegant movements above the stage. One can argue you were the best of your times. Those were the memory I want. Not that single picture of you that drowns everything I have cherished.

The room felt colder and the sheets cast my body upon it. The comfort cannot dry the sea I'm in but the looming darkness does help my eyes relax for a bit.