And without even meaning it, she was soon pulled back into a vortex of memories. Memories that she wished she could erase from the dark black void that formed her mind.
*******************************
"Sarah come on! Get up!"
Her mother's excited voice started her awake. Her eyes fluttered open, and slowly she started to push herself into a sitting position. She finally sat up, her eyes still half closed.
Her mother sat on the edge of her bed and shook Sarah's shoulders. "Sarah!!! Today's the day, remember? I promised you I would take you to my secret hiding spot today."
Sarah was wide awake now. She gasped. "I totally forgot!"
" well get dressed and have some breakfast...its gonna be a long day.And happy birthday my darling Sarah", her mother smiled.
"thank you mom", Sarah beamed.
Sarah and her mother had been talking about going to mom's secret meadow since Sarah was 10.but for some reason, her mother waited till she was 14 to take her there. Mom promised that she would teach Sarah how to use a proper bow there; she had been using a toy bow and arrows to learn, they soon found out she was really good at archery. Sarah was kind of an expert with the toy equipment; she could even hit moving targets,no problem. But she had longed to use those big, real bows that she saw on the television. She also wanted to see the place where her mother learned how to shoot. Mom told numerous stories about how she used to hide there from Sarah's grandma; how it was her sanctuary, how she goes there to escape the outside world.
Sarah got dressed quickly and sat down for breakfast with her mom , dad and her brother, Rizwan. She started pigging into the food before she even sat down properly.
"whoa there princess! The food isn't gonna grow legs and run away!", her dad exclaimed. He came back home on vacation for 2 months from California where he worked as a bio-engineer for a huge company. Her brother snorted.
"no,the food wont go away, but I am afraid that mum might change her mind about taking me to the secret meadow. And I cant wait another second to reach there.",Sarah said, chewing on a slice of bread and jam.
"calm down honey, I promised that I will take you there, and I wont change my mind.", her mom smiled kindly, patting Sarah's head.
"yeah brownie,calm down!", rizwan called. Sarah felt herself going red; she hated when he called her that, made her self conscious of the fact that she was the only one with chocolate brown hair in the family.
She stuck out her tongue at rizwan.
Mom and dad laughed out loud.
Half an hour later,it was finally time to go. She and her mom got into the car and drove to the huge plot her mother owned. She always wanted to explore it, it looked extraordinary. Nearby was the vast expanse of the family's golden paddy fields,filled with labourers. Some waved to her mother as they kept on walking to the the heart of the plot.
They kept on walking for 30 minutes with her mother leading the way. Sarah was growing impatient with every second, but she kept quiet.
Finally, Sarah couldn't stand it anymore; she said and said, "how-", she trailed off and exhaled sharply. Before her was the most beautiful place she ever seen; a beautiful green meadow lined with woody trees .
"like what you see?", her mother laughed, a beautiful sound that rang through the grassy field.
"mom...its amazing! How could you not show me this whole time?"
Her mother knelt down to her level and said," everything happens in its own time, Sarah. A really wise man told me that once. I had most of my peaceful moments here, now its time I shared it with you" she smiled. " now come on, time to work on that amazing talent of yours."
3 hours later, Sarah felt like the happiest girl in the world. She had learned how to control a real bow; it was tricky, but with a little practice, she got it right. She walked with her mother back to their car, throwing down ripe mangoes for later.
When they reached their car, Sarah beamed at her mom, " thank you so much, mother. Can we come back tomorrow?"
"sure, my darling. Anything for you. But promise me something, one day, you will get a chance to be a hero. Don't turn it down. Don't be afraid to do what needs to be done. focus on your target, pull back your string and shoot when its time.", her mother said darkly.
"mom,what-", Sarah began to say.
Her mom cut her off," promise me ,Sarah"
"yeah....uh, OK mom, I promise.", she managed to say. She had no clue what was happening, why was her mother acting like this?
"good. Just remember that even if I am not there by your side at all times, I will always be in your heart."
Sarah laughed. "but you will always be there by my side. Why are you saying all this?"
Her mother started off into the distance." Time to go, Sarah."
Her mom got in the car. Sarah followed her example, confused at what she just heard. They started off. After a few minutes, her mother's expression began to darken. She accelerated the car , glancing in the rear view mirror.
"mom? Is something wrong?", Sarah asked worried.
"nothing, Sarah. Don't look back.everything's going to be fine."she then took her cell, dialed a number, and put it to her ear. "they're here. I have her with me... do something, save my daughter!"she hung up and kept on accelerating.
"mom? Mom, talk to me...what's going on, who's here?", Sarah glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a black car tailing them. She looked straight. They were approaching an isolated junction, gaining speed.her mom refused to talk to her. She was focused on the road up ahead, beads of sweat were forming on her temples.
The next chain of events happened so quickly that Sarah didn't even get time to register anything. They'd reached the junction, but something huge and heavy rammed into right side of the car. Glass shattered everywhere; Sarah tried to scream, but it seemed like it was gone momentarily. The car went airborne, turned twice in the air and leaded heavily on to the rough tarred road.
And then she blacked out.
----------------------------------
.....could only save her." That was what Sarah heard when she finally came around.a feminine voice,probably; she couldn't exactly register. She didn't remember, nor understand why she was rocking back and forth. She was lying down on what seemed to be a stretcher. Then, with a sudden jolt in the back of her head, it all came back. She remembered driving in her mom's car, the hit and then the blackout.
"aaghh!",she screamed.
A women held on to her shoulder and tried to console her,"its ok, its ok sarah... you are safe now." The woman pulled an oxygen mask over sarah's face, blocking out her voice.
"mom...", she tried to call out, but it came out more like a muffled groan. And then, her mind and body decided that it was too exhausted and pulled sarah's consciousness into a black void.
---------------------------------
Sarah tried to hold on to every bit of sanity left in her whole system. She couldnt think properly,tried to wake up, but she just couldn't. she felt that if she didn't wake up soon, she would go entirely mad. She couldn't think straight, couldn't understand where she was, what happened, nothing. But she kept on thinking the same thought over and over again in her subconscious mind.
Mom.mom. mom.
Wher was she? What happened to her? Who were following them?
She felt so frustrated that she tried to scream. But again, she couldnt. She gained one last bit of energy, and opened her eyes.
She atleast realised one thing. She was home.
She breathed in cold, fresh air.the air smelled sweet, like after a rain. She looked sideways to see a window left ajar, weak beams of sunlight streaming in. outside, green trees swayed gently in the breeze. She heard the unmistakable trickle of water and immediately understood that it was raining lightly.
Numerous tubes and wires were attached to her body which she guessed led to various machines and hospital equipments. She could also hear the steady beeping of her vitals.
Then she realised that someone was holding onto her hand,tightly as if she was the last person in the world and whoever was holding her hand didn't want to let her go desperately.
She looked at the person; his head hung low, like he was crying over a body. She mustered enough strength to move her hand ever so lightly; to make the person aware that she was awake.
"Sarah!",it was her brother...she panicked a little bit; she couldn't remember his name. then it came to her: rizwan.
Sarah smiled weakly,she was so relieved to see him.
"you're awake! I missed you so much!", he embraced her ;sat back and smiled at her.
"miss me? How long was I passed out?", sarah muttered.
"about...six months now. you were in a coma", he said.
She couldn't believe it. Six months?
"m..m...mom?",she stammered.
Rizwan's smile wavered. "uhh..umm...she's ok."
She wasn't. sarah knows when rizwan's lying.he was an awful liar.
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"she's fi...ne." his voice broke. " dad is out buying you medicine. Oh he will be so happy to see you."
Sarah knew that he changed the subject deliberately. She knew he was hiding something. But why? Then it struck her. Is her mom...
No...don't even think way. I refuse to think that way .
But she needed to know. "rizwan...where is mom... tell me, please.i need to know"
Rizwan shook his head. He didn't look in her eyes. "she...she's gone. She....died on spot."
No.
Sarah could feel her eyes filling with tears. She couldn't believe it, her mom- gone forever?
"its ok...its really ok...calm down...shhhh...she's in a better place now.", she could hear rizwan say as she drowned, drowned slowly in her pain. It was like sinking in quicksand;there was no way out.
She should have been feeling sorry for herself. But all she felt was pain. Horrible, terrible pain. Both physically and mentally. She felt like her very existence was made of pain.
She kept on sinking; she didn't even try to escape.
***********************************
Sarah pulled herself back to the present. She was still cycling, her muscle memory had taken over and now she stopped abruptly in front of that small white asylum.
She pulled open the gates and parked her cycle at the porch.
She didn't even bother ringing the doorbell- she liked to sneak in; the less attention, the better.
She pulled the door handle quietly and let herself in . she didn't even bother looking up, she knew she would find the usual scene of her grandma in the sitting room, waiting to chew out Sarah.
But something else greeted her this time."hello, princess."
Her head shot up. Reclining on one of the couches in the sitting room were her dad and Rizwan.