Her Significant Other

"Sometimes it seems like the more you care, the more you have to lose."

-Quote by (Anonymous)

Since I had no other things to do given that Kelsy was unfortunately busy as any medical professionals usually do and Mrs. Scott preferred herself to spend the time on her own, I slack off in wherever places I tend to get to even though I can't be sure for myself if I was safe enough. 'Why I am wasting my time wandering around this mess?' Most might had ask. Answering this unremarkable question is a piece of cake.

A mundane answer emerged genuinely on my mind without any other minor afterthoughts. 'Well... I'm goddamn bored and I had no other issues to bring about so I did the thing only to give an impression that I'm just as bustling as bees working on their hives despite of not even being close to what I'm trying to pursue this time.'

I trudged while still limping through the halls near the coronary unit, a kilometer away from the ER, sandwiched between the nasty smell of pine and sweat.

A gruntle sounded from the fifth room as three of the health workers aided the critically bedridden patient, adjusting the regulatory of his ventilation. Meanwhile, the other stood by the platform ordering as low as he could while scribbling on his clipboard prolly finalizing procedures to administer his breathing from deteriorating.

From the distance, the cheery radio resonated in the atmosphere.

As of what the DJ had eloquently said from the broadcast, "Distress is not a word without the feeling of uneasiness. Benefit is also not a word without the feeling of eagerness. So hoping for the better has far more benefit rather than distressing ourselves by forcing its discomfort to strengthen its bounds to keep us low from aspiring..."

I doubted silently with a sneer, I don't think people in here had the ample time to 'aspire' let alone 'keeping themselves on living'.

After the station ID gave its desiring speech, a worship song named 'Open my eyes' by Hillsong played as a drunken male singer sang along in the background while stifling himself from crying. His high and squeaky vocalization irritated me whilst vibrating unsteadily into my susceptible eardrums.

At first, I was certain that singer was involved in the broadcast but apparently he is one of the guys here in the hospital who apparently had no realization in times of this vile and endless slavery... since his inhibited voice echoed lively through the ivory walls, technically discordant along the glorious instrumental music of the band.

I avowed wordlessly, 'A man can cry anytime but shall not in the world of pent-up woman. Like for real, men is the pride of human civilization. Thus, our mankind shall give an example to the opposite gender by pursuing the cunning and stark way of the brave and the audacious. Then again, I might not be a man... no, I am a man- or maybe?'

I placed my hands behind my skull swinging through the rhythm of the song while walking straightly on a loose. The window glass in the distance refracted the daylight from the open air blinding my sleepy eyes. My high-resolution digital video camera clamped on my hands, splendidly ready for the much anticipated film though I'm not quite sure on what to shot considering myself as someone with lack of creativity, inspiration, and originality.

Accordingly, I'm the type of editor who motioned through the goal, 'Whatever is in front of me, I should act upon. Easy as that.' Therefore, I don't think I'm aiming myself to be favorably promoted... 'So what's the point of appointing me when I'm not even sparing no effort to do this desired task.' I complained.

Ahead of me, a top hourglass-bodied fellow being wearing a tight envy green colored ppe with a height of about five point eight inches frozed as she sobbed faintly. She covered her goggles with her mitted hands, kinda biting her mask to suppress her emotions from slipping out. A paper bag of facial tissues set behind her legs and a disheveled mop lied down the floor as a puddle of impure water coursed amidst the tiles.

Once I took a check at her, I was definite that she's this worse girl I hated so much since she had the same ppe and figure as the last time I met her, 'Christina?'. I thought discursively, 'Why is she f******* bawling like a child?' 'I took the blow for her- and look what she got... Out of all means to help me, why cry out of pity?

I stopped in realization. No... I don't think so- It would also make sense if 'Mr. Scott' would anger towards Cristina after all he is jealous for absolutely nothing. I muttered, 'Such a nuisance.'

Thereafter, I ran towards her looking for trouble and patted on her shoulder while taunting at her, "Christina! How's your fling? haha-" When suddenly, my jaw dropped open stunned by her appearance.

The right corner of my mouth twitched as she looked at me in confusion, her delicate hands departed from her medium-colored skin as she took of her hood from veiling her face. A tension pulsed across my temples. My eyes widened to the max like my eyeballs might pop out of its glands. My ears deafened as I shouted inside, 'A man, seriously. You gotta be kidding me.'

He had an undercut navy blue-dyed hair and a heart shaped face. 'Wait, she's a female?' Somehow I was still puzzled whether she's a he or he's a she. Even though she appeared to be tomboyish, she still had this feminine façade on her... 'Non-binary, perhaps.'

The longer I stared at her, the longer I could tell that something feels fishy, 'Christina? When did you got that masculine vibe?... Man, you can't possibly change for just a day.'

In other words to deeply say, he or she strangely resembled Christina in every other angle. They had a similar slender jawline, scooped nose with a turned-up tip, and astonishing cognac eyes.

The only differences I could spot was their hair... and unlike Christina, they don't have had a dimple on their right cheek. So I was confident that she's not her even though I had doubts about them. I couldn't tell. I contemplated, 'A coincidence or a... twin?'

I once read an article written by my workmate about the possibility of having identical features with three to five people from respective places. I had never ever thought that throughout the course of my twenty-four years of living, I will be confronting this rare occurrence I didn't believe back then. Remembering that made me ashamed, I'm not suppose to laugh at her for writing such a 'bogus piece'.

They glared daggers at me with a look of poor hatred. Their forehead wrinkled folding their arms as they tapped repeatedly their navy blue sneakers on the floor. "Hey, did you mention Christina just now? Who are you to have a fling with her?!-" They shouted frantically towards me as their deep voice throwed my soul out of my body.

At this time, I was certain that my broadened mouth might be feasibly used as a nest for a runaway bird to rest into. -"Don't s*** around and call out to her in public just because you had a relationship with her?! Don't get cocky!" They whispered on their breath. Their eyes flamed in anger, "'How's your fling' my ass."

I flashed my palm to tell them that they misunderstood it while sweating excessively. The heat overwhelmed my embarrassed self, "You misheard me! I said 'your' instead of 'my'. I'm sure about it- Wait....aren't you the one who sang just then?" They scowled menacingly at me once again while suddenly tugging at my collar, "Keep talking and you'll never see the sunset again."

Their canine tooth sparked faintly as if they were seeking for fresh blood. I chocked from breathing the same natural air, thinking that there is no use talking sense with her. I mumbled indistinguishably, 'I've been close to death two times in a row this day.'

I inhaled. My heart intensified and shattered into pieces emotionally and physically. 'If this is the place then I'll accept my fate-' I laughed unbelievably on top of my lungs. Kindly, forget that line... not my character.... I paused for a moment of mediation... 'Cause in this place and at this time, I was supposed to keep my cool... or rather not.'

Out of the blue, a familiar female voice long lastingly screamed 'Aiden' from miles around as it echoed lingeringly through the white-walled narrow hallway, catching the attention of several patients and health workers. As the minute hand circulated to ten puts, it began to be distinct and louder harmonizing with the rapid patter of her footwear.

Until beside us this person panted, hunching over while catching her breath and helping her body unwind. By then, I realize that this woman been saving me for her own particular reason- probably, trying to annoy me when I usually won't... Denying? Yes, Its a typical mood embroidered on me.

Christina straightened herself. She went closer to me in a matter of concern mouthing the sentence 'Are you okay?' after the hoyden dropped me with no liter of consideration, distractingly distant as they stared gapingly at Christina while emphasizing my name 'Aiden' with a look of... why are they grinning like that? Weird.

Christina grabbed her handkerchief from her pocket; thenceforth, wiping the sweat on my face while her other hand laid down my shoulder ignoring her coincidental twin. I smiled from ear to ear with much appreciation, "Thanks, mom." She whined as she blew out a thousand, "Who's your mom?!-"

At this moment, she shifted her head to herself... her 'doppelganger' with a complicated expression, not being sure if she was suppose to greet them 'good morning' or to blast off her anger to them, "What are you doing here? and why are you making trouble with someone you don't know? Go harm your prey but not here, at least." I pulled an occasional surprise, 'Huh?'

The man or woman pinched Christina's cheeks, tending to harass the crap out of her with a playful smile drawn on their provocative flawless face, "Babe, its 'Eonni! What brings you here?-" Hearing that made me growl, 'Babe?!' When did that happen?

Their eyes cast down in a heartache as if they were yearning for enjoyment... which was critically true as Christina was dying inside out of fear. Her cheeks reddened with shame while looking sideways cautiously every so often. Her body double continued, "-'Since I cannot breath without you, Babe...-"

They pouted sultrily and saucily with a marinated moan while smirking at Christina, "-Can you make it with me?'" I froze on my position without taking a breather. That escalated too quickly... though I have no idea of what is going on with this two whether they are just joking. If its the other way around, then I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be here..

Christina didn't get the deal. She was stuck around the name they want her to call them, "Why am I calling you 'Unnie'?" Her thin eyebrows arched with an artificial smile escaping her rounded cupid's bow lips.

Her clone amusingly smacked Christina's butt, sending tons of reflexes throughout her spinal while bouncing once in place, "How about Onee-chan, instead?" Christina whined, "And why will I?" My camera had become baggy between my frigid fingers. That's it. I'm done.

I was whistling on the air, hoping to ease myself while attempting to step out of their affairs. When Christina snatched my pajamas from going off their turf. My Iron man brief exposed. She insisted eerily, her eyebrows slightly pushed together as my gall bladder was attending to its work, "Stay here... please?" I replied in return with a hiss, "Eh... Why?"

The Onee-chan on my side laughed with strong sensual appeal while cupping Christina's rosy cheeks and staring straight to my eyes , "We have an educational program for illiterate people like you-" They bit lusciously their lower lip while desiring for something improper... which is not entirely pleasing, "-So please, stay with us. We'll introduce you to our world." Christina somehow didn't get her...

She jumped forcibly as if what they meant was unicorns and rainbows, "Oh really?! That would be cool." A sparkle swept through her innocent baby eyes while holding her hands together in a pleasing gesture.

I jolted in disconcertment, 'Christina! This isn't a trip to the f*cking carnival or to the zoo.' Christina continued, "-I never knew until now that you had this instinct in this fashion to discipline him. Right, throwing some materials will cast off his ignorance by a land slide." I blinked continuously, withholding my affected self from crying a river, 'How happy is everyone to educate me? Am I really that regrettable?' But on the flip side, there are also subjects for her to learn, as good as I need to examine myself.

Out of the blue, her lookalike leaned aside towards my feverish ears while blocking their delighted face from Christina's view, whispering to me in a low voice, "Don't get the wrong idea... I was teasing her. After all, Christina is amazingly naïve-" They sighed proudly while shaking their head, "-What I love about her." I responded, anxiously bored, "Seriously?" In the midst, Christina peaked curiously trying to catch a word from our conversation.

They nodded a 'yes' licking their index finger while straightaway eyeing at us seductively, "Let's go and smash!" and bolted back farther inside while pushing me with no needed strength since I weigh like a leaf around her... although I don't get why.

Taking herself seconds to grasp her doppelganger's vitality Christina blew off her cover and followed after us, shouting for us to hold off while puffing for oxygen.

I muttered while my mouth watered involuntarily, shoved against the south wind, 'What's with their vocabulary? Can't they say anything appropriate and safe?'

The contents ejected forcibly from my stomach when in doubt feeling nausea from my belly, 'Please stop for a minute and give me a glass of water, as well.' It came inaudible. There's no quitting now.

The three of us hang-out for a long time... which is ridiculously not true. We talked like four minutes or rather... the two did since I can't carry on with their conversation especially that I got nothing to do with them. Just as what I least expected from them, they thought of having a security guard on their side and they hired me for the heck of it.

I was on standby, doing what they ordered me do to when all the way, eavesdropping to their discussion. I did that out of wonder. 'What relation do they have for each other?' 'Are they siblings?' or perhaps, its more than that.

After those earsplitting noises I drove myself to pay attention to, all I could manage to pick information from them is that they live under the same roof. Considering that Christina was scolding her for leaving their home unlocked, predictably connected with them being twins.

They rambled like any other clones would be when the other get to wear the best clothing of them all, though this two been arguing about the other for being reckless and inconsiderate while deep down being sympathetic for each other.

Its clear from Christina's terms that she wanted her sibling to be rather safe and sound, instead of handling work that's far too life-threatening; whereas, her sibling had another obstinate reason against her said wrongdoing and its got something to do with Christina's rumored love life- A typical and severe approach to ruin the mood.

Telling that, they were here to stalk the hell out of her boyfriend and to demand him to split up with her as much as possible. Yes, she said that as if its a huge problem... but on the bright side, Christina never had a love life for them to break it.

Hardly surprising, Christina snapped blushing to the range of popping out while persuading her twin that there's zero grounds for them to worry about anything, bearing in mind that she has no decent chance to follow the romantic path. But on the other hand, her effort wasn't paid as she expected it to. Her twin did not hear her out.

They were fidgeting on their chin the whole time, scanning every dust of the ponderous, gray-thatched ceiling while their head propped up on one hand. A gaseous chortle evaded from her pharynx, "So what? Remember, I'm your older sister. I had the right to establish rules in my name. Thus, my surveillance is my method of ensuring your safety."

In response, Christina grunted like a younger sister usually would be when the elder is too much of a pain for them to confer with. I sighed, 'Attention is another but a person became who they are without the concern of any.' "Romantic or not, I have a story of my own! I went through this nightmare to testify you and mother that I'm independent as what I wished for myself." At this specific time, a sentimental silence went through the atmosphere. I twirled myself facing them, letting the inquisitiveness act upon its own.

Christina was this close to crying. As a matter of fact, she had been like this for the couple chapters. She closed her eyelids from evading her tears, shaking like a leaf as her emotional arousal drowned her patience. Her clenched fist stiffened on her sides while her fury aided her exquisite pain, "I want everyone to be happy just the way a family should be. But ever since you and mother had a bitter dispute with each other, I was fussed in divergent sizes enforcing myself to take sides as far as is practicable- Scared to death that if I choose the other, I might loose this one thing I cherished a lifelong: remarkable memories that we shared for one another-"

As Christina let out her temper, drastic change delivered an impact towards her twin. The word they wanted to comply, commenced alternatively into a word they can't speak for themselves again.

Her sister... or brother never held a whole lot of remorse in broad daylight since the time, they were simply aiming to greet her 'good morning'. The roundabout on Christina's utterance diffused an amount of misery through their cerebral as they massaged their skull to dispose the pulsating pain.

They kept their cognac eyes down while speaking to themselves, gloomy than I could ever anticipate from a sophisticated fellow like her, "I'm sorry that you felt this way...-" A hint of restraint swallowed through as the tears forced her eyelids to remain unlock afresh, "-The last thing I sought to hear the moment I see you is to find out that I've been enough with every people I cared much about."

Having said that, Christina bolted herself up hoping to correct her in one way or another, "No! I didn't mean that-" She stopped as her twin drifted away, heavily in their footsteps.

They finally enunciated, giving Christina a thorough laugh, "Whatever the case is, tell mother that I'm willing to change my image for the sake of us. I'll wait for the day that we will be together... once again." As they emphasized 'once again', a tragic manner voiced out through that word... a sudden feeling made me feel sorry- for everything I wasn't even belong to.

The moment Christina took her first step, her twin stopped on their tracks. Leaving an icy touch on their sister's innermost heart, "Visit me anytime-" She rustled fleetingly and continued to walk elsewhere. Their hands placed behind their head with their elbows relaxedly pointed out. "If you had the time to."

As they paced towards the nearest CR, their figure blurred not letting Christina's eyes look away from them. A massive scale of contrition left her astound as her well-defined brown eyebrows furrowed under the pressure. I grumbled silently, 'Feels like I'm watching on Netflix, though this drama appeared to be going live outside my monitor.'

Since there's no stopping Christina from getting more flabbergasted about the interaction with her twin, I gave her a chocolate bar which was on my pocket the whole entire time, with a blank face, "Here have a snicker." Abruptly, she buckled off her stance and snarled at me as she snatched off the snack from my palm, "Thanks."

As we walked throughout the aisles of the hospital, we chattered friendlily beneath the mechanical noises of the intercom and medical devices, conversing about our interests since Christina insisted that we should get to know more about each other.

Our talk used to be mild and peaceful by then and yet I still had the whim to eradicate again the jubilant atmosphere. "So what about your mother and twin? What are they arguing about? Why-" I honestly thought that Christina was gonna avoid the question since it's very personal but on the positive side, she wasn't even reluctant to divulge me regarding this matter.

She sighed under her breath, her arms swinging unceasingly to get rid of her raw emotions, "My mother is a homophobic. I don't usually use this term but-" I cut her off with a jerkish smile. My white teeth exposed, "That explains!-"

Christina muttered a 'bruh', her face blown in disbelief, "-As what you had figured out, that's the underlying cause. My mother hellishly hated her for being 'different'... that's what she call it. She wanted her to be feminine and lady-like but Eloise never got the point out of it. She thought that being a man is what she was supposed to be."

As she fretted, I gazed in the distance feeling so bad with myself. The distinguished noises of alert near us filed through the pain of everyday. I thought, It must had been tough for her... 'Why can't her mother just accept who she is?' The last thing any people would want to do is to have their life controlled over the 'hellish' fact that they are just being selfish of themselves. Her mom is total a*s.

I told her sympathetically, "Being a lesbian does not remodel her persona. It is the manifestation of her inner desires-" I locked my eyes on hers with a distinguished grin hoping to ease her agitation. "-one that makes 'her' more."

Christina's eyes widened in awe, strongly impressed of me being the unusual while snickering, "True. I wished my mom will understand her more-" She sighed while closing her eyes in decompression, "-She'd been out of our family for five years after mother threw her out." Having said that, a crease showed between my eyebrows while stammering on my words, "I thought... you live together."

She answered while puckering her lips, "My mom is currently living now in our province during quarantine and usually when mother is out of the city, Eloise came to visit our home whenever she want to. This is the first time in a while that she's actually staying." I nodded contentedly; meanwhile, Christina rolled her eyeballs in disgust, "Anyway, its nothing for you to intrude about."

I raved at her while clicking my tongue in the tempest, "Sure, say whatever you want and I won't care." During this time, silence filled the air after we decided it's better to leave things the way it is now.

As we passed by the Radiology room which was sealed beyond everyone of all kinds, I suddenly noticed that Christina been watching me all the while. Her mouth turned down at corners and eyes moist under the temperate humid, transcending the sounds of rock from afar. I murmured silently while the corners of my lips turned down, 'She'd been bathing an eye on me... It creeps me out.'

Since she'd been waiting for the 'perfect' time to ask me, a big lump crept through her throat, "Are... you alright?" She bit her bottom lip, speaking softly. As she made an adorable look on her face, my head tilted on the side with a snigger, "I'm fine- Worrying about me won't do you any good."

Annoyed by my way of amusement, she yelled on top of her lungs enough to end the sh*t out of her rectum, "You're saying that when you're moping around someone's business-" She added with a grunt, "-The least I wanted you to do was to go into trouble for goodness's sake and you can't understand that!" I hissed, "Aren't you the one who is not fine here?!-"

I hold her shoulder and looked away with a snarl as her steps began to be heavier asking her in a serious tone, "-No... I can't assume anything that you haven't speak yourself. But is there something going around between you and Albert?" She answered with a moan while looking away from me, "No... Please don't bother anymore." I sighed with a frown, "Well, then."

Christina lowered as she walk side by side with me, "Eh? Just then you are so blunt and now-" I shut her off with a poker face, "You told what I should do and I have no right to interfere much more about your affair with that bastard-" I added with a 'tch' while my eyes half close, "-After all, I'm a guy whose privilege was to live a not so complicated life-"

I stopped on my route, facing her while the atmosphere belittled the dreary broad day. Christina followed while gaping confusedly towards me. Once this minute, I peered deeply as if I was draining all the energy from her while leaning forward a centimeter a part from her pale and upturned face, "But as of this life I had right now in these two days of being with you and Kelsy, I grew fond of our relationship- if you see me as a friend then that's it. In one way or another I had this urge to not let this problem slide, even if I prefer myself to be in the sidelines."

Having heard that, she blushed pardonably soft as if the butterflies had gone down her stomach. I finalized, 'Whatever happened with the two of them, it has something to do with me. I shall make a plan to investigate further.' Our time remained to be hushed as the longest hand of the black wall clock in the vicinity ticked every minute.

We had passed by the open-air outer wards and medical sanitary offices when out of the blue I interrupted her, "In this case you have right now, the best you can do was to stand up the courage to avoid ridicule even if half of your lifetime would have been taken away like smoke."

She responded with a jolt, "Who made you say that?" I ignored her, my lips pulled to the side, "Since I can't help you with everything-" I suggested with a sigh while staring at the ceiling, "-If I were you I would do the same thing even if my insights are selfish beyond repair."

She nodded; her nostrils flared in repel, "Huh? Mr. Philosopher, I don't need your advice for me to survive against the 'apocalypse'" I simpered deeply while my hand held tight on my hip joint, "Yeah... do whatever you want. All the way before I know it, you will be living in this advice to do so." Christina growled as she pinched me on the ear, provoking me to grimace in pain, "Shaddup."

After making our way through the tensive passages of nurses handling passed away patients, we finally arrived to an isolated room which Christina was about to go to before crossing paths with this helpless man out of me. While turning the doorknob, she regarded gesturing me to silent. As I had gotten the message, she opened gently the door resonating a faint creaking sound.

Once it widened much more for us to fit through, we sneaked swiftly inside and hustled beside the deceased, who was coated behind the hospital blanket. I stood close to the patient, inquisitive of them, "Who might be this child?" Christina answered sadly; her face paled while giving the dead a check, "The little girl from the murder incident." My eyes widened, paranoid of what I've heard, "No way."

As I stared back at Christina, tears streamed down her cheeks biting her lower lip to restrain herself from wailing. I wondered, 'Why is she crying now out of all places? And how did the patient compelled her, a nurse who possibly wasn't close to her, to weep out of mercy?' "Does this patient got anything to do with the fiasco you've gone through?" She nodded with a quick shriek- 'Very adorable...' I should employ this woman to be one of my pets. Someone who could entertain me to make a clown of herself.

I giggled sarcastically while my hands were on my hips, ready to dominate, "I thought there's nothing wrong. Why are you putting it as if it does?" Perceiving that, she screamed awoken from distress, "You didn't believe me that I was okay, right? The way you conjured those words was spot on denial of what I just said by that time." I falsified a smile and snapped my fingers while joking in response, "So that's why!"

Since Christina was rather irritated, she pointed a finger towards me, leaning in while complaining as usual, "Be direct, dammit! Our convo is not even consistent. Don't avoid the topic half-heartedly." In return, I snarled in response. "Miss. Noisy, remember you told me to mind my own f*cking business. Don't tell me you're making me draw first blood." She crossed her arms and looked away with a humph, giving in, "Whatever you say." That's it. I'm not going to bother her anymore.

I breathed in avoiding myself from gazing back at Christina, who still had the guts to hunt me to death, and sat by the wooden chair beside the sick bed studying earnestly the body.

The vast and four-sided room was built common and neat to render the essence of comfort and stability. There was no other furniture displayed along its stupefying, white cement walls besides the folding ivory bed fronting the door and the wall crucifix nailed a feet above. The pleasant earthy smell winded around from the gaps of the red-tiled ceiling. Muffled chatters sounded.

Being this close to the dead feels so stressing as though its cordial reminder constrained me to give in from life and stare back at my body wandering if I had left something in the world for me to be remembered about. Pondering about the odds of an afterlife is relatively ill-natured on my opinion; but if that was factual, then the whole creepy ambience I boarded into wherever I'm nearby these strayed souls is certainly a considerable evidence supporting the occult study.

I glimpsed dreadfully again at the victim, breaking gradually my ribs from protecting my internal organs. An abrupt rattle swept through my nerves like a bolt of lightning electrocuting a utility post. My deft metal hands reached out to uncover her feathered blanket in an impulse of trepidation and oddity.

My face darkened while shivering unconsciously as the bitterly cold wind whispered on my ear in the midst of carrying my soul downhill the ground. After a moment of hesitance, my fingers dashed in a flash and hauled the blanket upward off the patient's body as it lose volume down the creamily-tiled floor. Christina put on a shock, "What's going on with you?!"

After seeing her appearance, a forest of hair on my arms stood in pure terror. 'I stared blankly at the youngster whose lemon-yellow frocks was torn from the bottom of her skirt with her face full of bruises and discoloration. Blood trickled from her scalp as her sloppy black hair went into places. Her frightened blue eyes excreted tears, begging for succor.' 'While adjusting my eyesight on my right which was a noticeable ghostly street, I noticed that she was being dragged into a shadowy alley by a Stygian overall suit criminal. She helplessly clinged on the wall, bringing in her desperation even though her fingers were sore and chafed.' I hollered inside denying the sight in front of me as if its a hallucination a cursed person like me should witness, 'What are the odds for me to meet again this young lady?! and why- am I suppose to hate myself now.'