Prologue

I´ll never be able to understand what really happened or happen. I have never been good at these things! I cannot see right, but there is someone with me, I know that. I can feel her, I can hear her, but I can´t see her. Everything around me is a very colorful blurry, but I recognize this place, that smell, this movement.

I heard a cry and a scream while I dreamed, I was flying, so I fell here. I can see everyone, but they cannot see me. I am going to the library, I know that because the leaves of the huge cherry door are unique, the arabesques and the Golden doorknobs were my idea. I chose that double door, as well as all the décor of our house. We decorated together that huge mansion, a house full of joy and life, but I am not understanding silence and sadness. Does something I do not know happened or is it happening? I do not remember much, but now that I'm home again, even seeing everything blurry, I can see the employees, our two Pharaoh Hound dogs, they have bright black hair, are cheerful and playful, just like the owner.

I'm entering the library and I see my husband, Ryan Travis Scott, sitting in the huge armchair that I affectionately call his majesty's throne, he drinks a scotch whiskey and his look is lost, he didn't realize my approach, the sun is setting, I look at the old clock, and even with everything still blurry, I can see that it's eight o'clock at night. In the northern hemisphere, when it´s spring and summer, the days are longer. It´s no different here in Ireland.

The garden must be beautiful, full of multicolored flowers, my favorites are sunflowers, and the birds should be starting to gather. He proposed to me in late summer and we got married of fall in the garden of our house, witnessed by our family members and some close friends. His family is very important and influential in the UK, the Scott family is full of successful lawyers and doctors. Her father, Tristan Scott, owns a hospital network, he is the eldest son of John Scott, the family patriarch, and my husband is the grandson and eldest son. Her sister Megan is the youngest of her parents, but the third or fourth granddaughter of the lineage. Grandpa John is a strong man with blue eyes and snow-white hair, my father-in-law is his faithful copy, while my husband is his father's faithful copy. There is no denying that the DNA in this family is strong.

I step behind him, who has not noticed me yet watch him, his closed and lost features reveal sleepless nights, dark circles under his eyes and slouch. He is the most handsome man I know, dark brown hair and black eyes, like jabuticaba, he looks like a closet, he is ninety-eight tall and the beard I love so much is huge.

He scratches his eyes and takes a deep breath, looks impatient, bored, looks like he cried several nights in a row. He is the CEO of the hospital network that his father left in his hands after retiring.

Ry and I met when I was seventeen and he was twenty-five. He is a gifted, gifted man with an IQ comparable to Einstein's and seems to have been born in the right family. He finished high school at fourteen and was invited to study at one of the leading medical colleges in the United States.

We literally bumped into a bookstore; I was looking for a novel while he was looking for a neurology book. He is a pediatrician with a specialization in neuropediatric. I remember it like it was today when we met.

"I'm sorry!" he said taking me in his arms.

"I should apologize. I'm so sorry! I really am the clumsiest ballerina in the ballet company!" I said leaving gently of his arms after almost losing myself in that hug and smell.

"Are you ballerina, then?!" he asked in surprise and seemed frustrated that I had gotten out of his arms and managed to pull myself together.

"Yes! Well, I try, don´t you?!" I said embarrassed. His height intimidated me, despite my five feet six inches.

"What are you going to read?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

"Jane Austin. Interesting!" he said smiling.

"I am an incurable and incorrigible romantic girl."

"Look, I´m a doctor and I've never heard that romanticism is a disease."

I grinned awkwardly narrowing my eyes and then looking at the huge books he carried in his arms.

"I don't know if you believe in past lives and it may sound crazy, but I think I already know you; I feel I meet you from somewhere." I said losing myself in those night-black eyes, my smile closed, it seemed that I had gone into a trance.

"I don't believe it, but I'm starting to believe it now, I feel like I meet you from other times, from other lives." He said seeming to get lost and enter the same state as me.

He was dressed in social, white coat and stethoscope around his neck. We heard a phone ring; it broke our momentary connection.

"Excuse me." He said taking the phone from his pocket and answering. "Ryan." he stopped to listen as he watched me, I turned to look at the shelf in front of me, giving him privacy. The second he looked at me, the more I became embarrassed. "Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes. Thank you, Janet!" He turned off the call.

"Problems?"

"More or less. I would love to talk more, but I must go.

"It was a pleasure!" I said holding out my hand.

"It was my pleasure, Miss ..." He said taking my hand and giving it a firm squeeze.

"Susan Baltimore."

"The pleasure was mine miss Susan Baltimore. See you later!"

"See you later, dr. Ryan."

I turned my back and went to the mezzanine for some books to study English literature. That week my sister Murphy had to go to the doctor.

Before you ask me, my parents are astronomers! My name was Andromeda or Carina, but my paternal grandmother chose my name. In honor of her mother, Susannah, my great-grandmother was ambushed and died when my grandmother was a baby. How much irony of fate!

Mom and I went to the doctor, she's only four years old and she's losing her leg movements and we don't know why, I saw her fall out of nowhere in ballet class and it worried us so much, she's so small and so fragile, but I don't see her sad one day, she's a beautiful blonde girl with honey eyes, unlike me, I'm the only blue-eyed redhead in the family.

When we arrived at the huge hospital, the receptionist said the doctor would receive us. While I was playing with my little sister, my mother would bring us coffee and water, we were in the waiting room when I heard a door open.

"Murphy Baltimore." — A voice of thunder called. I had heard that voice, but where? I could not think much.

"Come on, Susan!" Mom soon approached me, and I let my thoughts and assumptions run away from me. I took my sister in my lap and then turned and ran into him.

"Murphy Baltimore?" He asked looking at my mom and extending his hand.

"Is my daughter, doctor. I'm Jasmine Baltimore" She said accepting his greeting.

"I'm dr. Ryan Scott, come in!" He said giving us room to enter. I did not look at him, but I cloud feel your eyes on my back. I was still in shock; I would never imagine meeting him right there.

We spent the day in the hospital, my sister had several tests, until he said:

"I'll take the results of the blood and imaging tests and study your daughter's case to find out why this leg paralysis could be neuropathy, Mrs. Baltimore, if that is so much more complex than we might suppose, we don't know what's going on in the brain until we have studied all the exams for the causes, what developed this paralysis, and before any diagnosis, I'd rather take my doubts with who knows more than me and reach out to you with certainties, treatments and solutions."

"I understand, doctor."

"Here in the chart is your phone number?"

"Yes! We work all day, it's easier to talk to my daughter Susan than with us during the day, she stays with Murphy, cares for her sister, and support us at home."

"I understand! If I cannot talk to you and your husband, will I talk to her?"

"Yes, please!"

"That is right!" He turned, grabbed a pineapple jam from the fridge behind him and handed it to Murphy. "An award for our little ballerina."

"Thanks!" She smiled and said in her husky voice.

"You are welcome!" He looked at us again "Have a good afternoon or what's left of it, and as soon as we get a concrete result, I warn you."

"Thank you, doctor."

"No need to thank." He looked at me and my heart pounded, I missed something I did not know what it was. "Young lady, stay tuned to the phone, okay?"

"Yes, dr. Scott"

He smiled and seemed to light up the doctor's office. Where did I meet him from? Why did my heart seem to meet and stop beating like a rock band drums? Why this excessive longing?

"Susan, are we going?"

"Yes, mom!" I got up and took Murphy in my lap.

We said goodbye one more time and went home. I never thought I'd meet him at the same bookstore a few weeks later, buying more books on neuropathy and other neurological disorders, while researching Agatha Christie's books, we talked a lot and found out a lot about him and me, it seemed we had meet for years. I did not imagine we were getting married six months later. I turned eighteen a month before we got married."

"Master Ryan." A voice snapped my mind, it was the house steward entering the office.

"Yes, Jordan." Ryan seemed to come out of his reverie.

"Some cards with messages from…" He swallowed, seeing my husband's look of deep sadness.

"Throw them away!" He said firmly. "Brig me two bottles of whiskey, please."

"My lord, don't you think you're exaggerating?"

"No! Do what I am asking."

"The drink will not placate your pain, my lord."

"But it will help me to forget it!"

"It may help, but when you remember, it will be worse."

"It's the only thing that can still numb me."

"Not for long."

"Jordan, I won't ask again, don't wait for me to send." He said clenching his jaw, was irritated, rubbed his eyes.

"Yes, I'll be right back!" He said sorry.

What was happening? I was not understanding anything! I better ask him; I do not know how his have not noticed me yet.

"Susan!" I heard a voice call me, but I did not answer. "Susan!"

"Yes!" I turned to look for who was calling me, so I saw her. "Granny Harriet?" she smiled me. "What are you doing here?"

"Come on, my girl!" She told me smiling and extending my hand.

"Where? I have to talk to Ry, granny!"

"Come on, my sweet, it will be all right!"

"But granny…"

"It's fine, sweet! He'll be fine!"

I gave her a hand and then saw a very bright light and felt like something was pulling me.