Dead

Karabelle

My eyes began to flutter open my body felt so heavy. Then I realized Lyla was right next to me she was so close so I shut my eyes so I couldn't see her and pretended I was asleep.

" H-hey you awake" Lyla whispered

I opened my eyes and smile our faces were so close she touched my lip and then softly press her lips against mine then we heard the door knob twist before we could get caught we jump of each other like nothing happened. "Hey girls good morning I got breakfast." Said lylas mom she placed a tray on top of the bed and placed two plates on it and two glasses of orange juice. I dont think I've  had breakfast cook for me since I was little . I smiled at her to let her know she was much appreciated she smiled back Lyla thanked her mother and then she left and closed the door. Lyla smiled at me and then stuff a piece of bacon in my mouth I giggle she then shoved a piece in her mouth we ate our breakfast then

I put I the hoodie that Lyla gave to me and put on the pants  I indicated to Lyla I had to go we waved I walked home.

Then it hit me I was scared would my dad mention anything I was nervous but just walked home. Then I realized shit I got work at least I don't have to go home yet. I walk to work I start doing my job. After I got off my shift I felt obviously tired. Now I actually have to go home. This  walk  felt to quick I wish it lasted longer as I walk up to my building and went inside ughh do I have to go inside my apartment I guess so. I carefully open the  apartment door I walk in sadly my father was there on the couch I think sleeping .  He is a light sleeper so i got ready for yelling and  screaming and getting hit repeatedly but no I guess maybe he was really tired or something I don't care as long as I'm not getting beat. I went In my room and got in my pajamas. Later I came out my room to get water my father was still on the couch in the same position I guess he's just in a really deep sleep better not disturb him. I got my glass of water and went back in my room. I soon fall asleep.

As morning came I slowly woke up yawned and decided I was going to visit my mother today. I got out a pair of jeans and a shirt I came out my room to take a shower dad was still sleeping on the couch. I got dressed and headed out .  I walked to were I buried my mother in the park.  Hey mom hows it going to be honest I don't know hows it going for my self if I'm really honest. 

I had a conversation in my head one sidedly for about an hour it's weird but it's how I cope. I soon head back to the apartment I gently open the door. And their my dad is . I didn't notice before but it stinks in here and dads been asleep in that position for way too long. I go up to him my blood runs cold. No fucking way what the actual fuck. This is not fucking real he looked so pale how the fuck did I not notice this. Is he dead. I start to gag but I have to make sure first I touch him he's cold. No no no no. Now the one that will determine it all pluses nothing his fucking dead. Even with all the years of abuse it still hurts tears fall from my eyes I never thought I would feel sad for my abuser. But then all the memories of him abusing me and mom rushed back and I felt like pulling his face off his dead body. But then I felt bad then glad because he would hurt me anymore. I didn't know what to feel yet I felt every thing. But how did he die? I look around and see an empty bottle of pills. Overdoes? It doesn't matter what killed him I didn't know what to do. What do I do. Fuck do I call the police. But then I get interview and I'll have to tell them my whole life story. What the fuck do I do. Do I pretend like I never came home and just clear I the evidence I came back home to day and just run away and be on the streets.

This seemed to be the best plan for me. I made sure it looked like I left probably didn't notice dad and never came back. I felt defeated I had nothing. I found myself at were I buried mom. I just wanted to be ok for once maybe ending it all will just make it stop maybe that's my only choice maybe that's what the world wants well are you happy world cause you're finally gonna get it.