10 Dazed

Ten

Dazed

Sobrang sabaw ni Carol matapos ang long quiz nila sa isang major. Nakapag-study naman siya pero parang kulang. Medyo nangangamba na naman siya na baka umulit na naman siya ng isa pang sem.

Hindi na kakayanin ng braincells niya at ng kanyang willpower. Baka i-disown na talaga siya ng kanyang pamilya. Marami na namang sasabihin ang iba nilang kamag-anak. Para talagang perfect ang mga ito.

Miss niya na gumala at maging chill. Ayaw niyang kinakabahan tuwing pumapasok na baka may surprise quiz na hindi niya napaghandaan. Bakit kasi ang boba niya? Although bawing-bawi naman siya sa physical qualities. Pero utak goldfish talaga siya palagi.

"Lunch tayo?" aya niya kay Arny.

Ito na lang siguro ang highlight ng araw niya. Aside sa innate hate ng mga lower years sa kanya. Si Arny at Luis lang talaga ang totoo niyang kaibigan sa Gustavio. Miss niya tuloy ang gagong mukha ni Vico. Ang sarap kulitin kahit mapanakit magsalita.

"Tara, I'm famished," sagot nito saka tumayo.

"Arns, wait," tigil niya dito.

"Huh? Bakit?" pagtataka nito.

"Luis? Pahiram ako ng jacket?" sabi niya kay Luis.

"Are you cold? Here," he immediately removed his hoodie and handed it to her. Binigay niya kay Arns para itali sa bewang nito.

"May tagos ka, girl," dagdag niya.

Arns looked alarm when she saw the red spot on her white pants. "Hala, oh my gosh. Thanks," sambit nito saka hinigpitan ang hoodie.

"Hey, that's my hoodie. And I don't get a thank you?" singhal ni Luis sa kanila.

"Ikaw ba nag-initiate?" Arns sarcastically remarked.

"That's a new one, Arns. Don't stain it," Luis warned.

"Whatever, Luis."

Iniwan nila si Luis dahil tinawag ito ng mga barkada niya. Dumirecho sila sa Plaza para maghanap ng kakainan. Marami namang pwedeng pagpilian. She doesn't really have much of a preference. Iyong 'vegan' diet niya last time ay dalawang araw lang nagtagal at tinigil din niya. Mamamatay siya kapag di nakakain ng karne.

"Hi, girls! Libre ko na kayo," Brix approached them with his usual smug look and overconfident aura.

"Talaga? Then I'll add more," she grinned and doubled her orders.

Naupo si Brix kasama nila. Hindi naman maipinta ang mukha ni Arny. Halatang ayaw din nito sa lalaki. Kahit naman siya. But if you can't beat them, just join them. Mukha pa namang madaling lokohin ang lalaki. He looks so hungry for girls.

"So Carol, do you want your life to be like in a movie?" panimula nito.

"No, thanks, Brix. I'm already in one," she smiled sarcastically.

Ang hirap talagang magpanggap na mabait. Brix only laughed. Tinuon niya na lang ang pansin sa pagkain. Parang hindi yata siya matutunawan kung di aalis ang lalaking 'to.

Ngumisi ito sa kanya saka nilagay ang braso sa kanyang balikat. "Ang sungit mo talaga. I can take you places," he whispered the last part. She almost quivered in disgust.

"Please lang. Don't put your arms anywhere on me," singhal niya saka hinawi ang kamay nito.

"Dude, just stop," singit ni Arns.

Tumayo ito saka umaktong nagtatampo. "Fine, I'm still treating though kahit ang sama niyo sa'kin," dagdag nito.

"Oh? Are you hurt?" tanong niya mocking him using her baby voice. The voice she use to talk to Marga, to dogs and to stupid people.

Umiling ito. "Not really. If it's coming from you, I'll take the hard-to-get act," he grinned and winked at her. Naglakad ito palayo. Binitawan naman ni Arns ang kutsara at tinidor.

"Ew. Feeling niya talaga gwapo siya," naiinis na sambit nito.

"I wanna pinch his whole face using a nailclipper," dagdag niya habang tumatawa.

"I mean, I hate Luis but Brix's guts is over the top," patuloy na pahayag ni Arny. Ngumisi lang siya lalo sa sinasabi nito.

"C'mon you don't hate Luis. Crush mo siya 'no?" she teased her.

"What? Saan mo nakuha ��yan?" Arns said defensively.

"You remind me of my friend," aniya habang naaalala si Bea na ganito rin noon kay Gelo.

"He's not my crush," mariin nitong sambit.

"Okay," sagot niya sabay kibit-balikat. Napasimangot naman lalo si Arny sa kanya.

She found herself climbing up the staircase patungo sa rooftop. Natapos naman lahat ng quizzes niya this week. Wala naman talaga siyang gagawin dito. Ngunit may kung ano sa kanya na umaasa. Na makita ang lalaki. She's stupid enough to assume that maybe he's here.

Nilibot niya ng tingin ang rooftop and the fate once again didn't fail her. Her heart almost jumped after seeing the familiar figure. He is on his usual spot. Sitting comfortably on a chair. Why does he look so dashing in his white uniform? Wala naman itong ibang ginagawa kundi tumingin sa malayo o sungitan siya.

But the way he stares at her na parang kayang-kaya nitong lamunin ang buong pagkatao niya. When he looks away or when he frowns at her. When he breaths in frustration or when he speaks with his manly and firm voice. She feels like she can give herself to him.

Lumapit siya sa lalaki weighing things but what the hell. When did she ever hesitated with him? Never siyang natameme sa lalaki except when he slightly licks his lips but that's besides the point.

"Oh ba't ka nandito? Akala ko sa'kin na 'tong 'lair' mo," saad niya emphasizing the word. Napaharap sa kanya ang lalaki with his lazy stare. He got up from the chair saka binuhat ang isang box sa tabi nito. Lumapit ito sa kanya bitbit ang box.

"Here, all my notes from college. I took the same pre-med," he told her as he handed the box. Agad niya namang kinuha. It's not really heavy but it's full of paper materials.

She gasped on what's inside. "Wow. No shit. Ang dami," sambit niya. Habang ini-scan ang isa-isa ang mga papel, flashcards, index cards at iba't ibang photocopies ng mga subjects niya na nakapaloob sa buong syllabus ng kanyang program.

"You're welcome," sagot nito. Binaba niya ang box. She held herself back from hugging him.

She bit her lip and smiled a little. "Mabait ka naman pala eh," aniya habang tinulak nang bahagya ang balikat ni Vico.

He pursed his lips as if suppressing an obnoxious remark. "I'm not a Devil's spawn, Carol. And I'm sorry," anito, almost whispering the last part. May kung anong kiliti siyang naramdaman sa sinabi nito. Imagine, Vico saying sorry to her. It's both a dream and a nightmare. Parang sobrang surreal.

"Sabihin mo nga ulit," she urged him.

"Ano?" he asked, a little annoyed.

"Say it again!" singhal niya habang pinipigilang mapangiti.

Humingi ito nang malalim. "I'm sorry, Carol," he uttered, staring directly at her eyes.

His voice saying her name always have this certain effect on her. She doesn't know if its his accent or what. Ang lambing lang pakinggan ng 'Carol' sa paraan ng pagkakasabi nito. Parang gusto niyang maging alipin ng lalaki whenever he calls her name. Ganon kalala. She brushed her inappropriate thoughts.

"Shet. My name sounds so sexy when you say it," she grinned at him.

"Saka don't mind what happened. I'm just glad to point that out and that slap, deserved mo 'yon," patuloy niya.

Tumango lang ito tila hindi na alam ang gagawin. She counted the seconds. He was not looking at her. Why? She realized that behind his cold facade is a very clueless and oblivious guy. Bakit ba kasi palaging masungit ito sa kanya? She always want to crack that mask open. She wants to be that person who he can be his genuine self. If only she can.

"Alis na 'ko," paalam nito.

"Pwede naman kasi tayong mag-share dito. Promise, di na ako mag-iingay," she blurted out. She waited for a few moments but Vico didn't answer.

His phone suddenly rang and he walk a little far from her. Ayaw nitong marinig niya ang tawag. What's so important about it? Who's he talking to? Is that the girlfriend? Mahal na mahal na ba nito ang taong 'yon?

"Sino 'yon, jowa mo?" tanong niya nang makabalik ito. Vico just sighed. He looks beat and drained after that call. She wonders what that call meant. Maraming tanong ang nasa isip niya. Gusto niyang marinig ang mga sagot dito. She always wanted to know more. Ngunit palaging hindi pwede.

She sighed. "Hay sabi nga ni ate Ari, break up with your girlfriend cause I'm bored," she joked ngunit mukhang hindi na-gets ni Vico.

"Never mind. Alam mo in this universe, walang perpetual thing. Even the Saturn's rings are disappearing," she uttered and looked up at the sky. It's cloudless. Nakikita na niya ang buwan. It's peaking along the sky sa gitna ng pag-aaway ng araw at dilim. It's like a secret that wants to come out. Just a little bit more.

"I can't believe I'm hearing that from you," sagot nito habang naiiling nang konti.

Napasimangot siya sa sinabi nito. "Gaano ba kababaw ang tingin mo sa'kin?" she asked, quite offended.

"Like a shallow swamp," he murmured. She almost smacked his face. Walang hiya, she thought.

"Gago ka ah. But I like the metaphor. Swamp, wet and dirty," she grinned. Vico stared at her like he's done with all of her words. Even if he only looks at her like that. It's enough to make her mind in daze. But in reality, she wants more of it, more of him just for her.