Does he hate me?

Knock knock..

Upon hearing the sound Evan reached to his door peeking out from his door hole to see his dear friend standing still outside the door. Shane had just raised his hand to knock once again but stopped when Evan opened it in a stance seeing his friend.

"Hey!! What are you doing here?" Evan asked confused to see Shane on his doorstep at late night. Once the question came out from Evan's mouth Shane started fidgeting with his fingers. "Shane? You okay?" Shane nods his head smiling sheepishly. "Umm.. I couldn't sleep. Lets go out for a walk." He continued smiling while Evan raised a brow as he was not expecting this from him.

"Okay.." he said seeing how determined Shane was to go out. He grabbed his leather jacket and keys. He locked his room and now they both were heading out of the apartment.

"So.. what is troubling you?" Evan asked knowing something must be troubling him. "I don't know." Shane replied not sure what he was feeling.

"Huh?" Evan exclaimed.

"Actually.. I am happy that you did forgive me. Also I want to search her. I know you might have blamed yourself all those days and I do to. I could have done more but I ran away.. thinking it would harm you. I am sorry." Shane confessed letting Evan know what he had felt all those days. He actually did blame himself for making Evan depressed. He did not want to have this situation but the things that is written to occur... do occur how much we try to push. That is what he had learned.

"Its okay.. and I really need your help. I can't do anything without you. You know that right?" Evan said making Shane laugh. He did nod his head and smiled looking down at his feet. "I wonder if we will ever find her. Evelyn.. it was to late for me to know her name." Evan continued walking along the footpath which was probably empty due to darkness and the time.

"Yea.. how will we start. You have been looking for her too. Did you find any clue?" Shane asked to be replied with a low sign which seemed no to his question. Shane nod his head.

"But Evan.. if she would have been here. Would you like her to? I think you already do." Shane asked chuckling and nudging Evan to his side. While Evan did nothing. "Maybe. She was beautiful... but I couldn't hold her. But I don't know what I feel.. maybe I feel guilty so I am like this." Evan replied not sure of his own answer.

"What will you do if we find her?" Shane asked again with the thought of knowing what he feels. "I don't know. I just want to see her all okay again. She sacrificed herself for me... I didn't deserve. She should have let me die." Evan continued but this time he was fighting with himself to not let himself break. To not let Shane see his vulnerable side. Not yet.

But he was wrong thinking if Shane did not know. He could see the pain and disappointment about himself in his eyes. He felt hurt knowing he cannot make this Evan like the way he was before. His heart is already broken. Not only his heart but his will and hope of surviving is broken. He felt hurt to know that his friend whom he loved as his own brother would never fight against his death. When time comes he was willing to leave. And that was not what Shane wished for.

Seeing the tension growing up Evan tried to change the topic. "But she should not have confessed to me. I was so shocked. That was my first time being loved by someone. But now thousands girls love me." He said slightly laughing. "Yea yea.. I get that. I will get someone real soon. And I also do have thousands okay!!" Shane fire back scoffing.

"I didn't say you don't have. I said you have less compared to mine. As always I am up." Evan declares with his cocky smirk which made Shane roll his eyes in annoyance seeing him trying to boost himself up. "As if you are gonna date them all. See I will have a date soon. And always know I am better then you." Shane retorts.

They both stare intensely at each other soon bursting out in laughter. Soon the silent road they were walking was echoing their laugh. Tho they were glad they have came up to be close as before.

______________

Ahhh!!

Evelyn jolt up on her bed panting heavily. She had been like this ever since she woke up in the hospital.

She walk out of her bed out of the room to the kitchen. She grabbed the mug and poured a glass of water. She gulped down the water and made her way upstairs.

"Baby.. you okay?" "Yes.. mom." She replied to the lady peeping her head out of the door to check if her daughter was fine. As it happened often they were habituated. The lady nods her head and enter her room while Evelyn approach her room.

Evelyn's Pov

I enter my room and get on my bed covering myself with the duvet. But to be true I can't sleep. Why do I always dream myself falling from the bridge? Who was that boy who was holding me?

Ah.. this nightmare are too much for me. I can never sleep properly. Since I came home after being discharged these nightmares are haunting me. Why was I having them? Was that my imagination or my memory?

But as I asked my parents about the accident and my childhood... they never answer properly which make me question if they are my parents. But the love they give me?No.. that can't be.... I will do sin if I question that but I am not sure what is and what is not?!....

But I want to know what is their to be untold. I need to know the reason behind these nightmares. Are those my memories... my past?

And moreover... why was I confessing to that boy? Why? I can't even see who that boy is!

I need to know the truth... that had gone missing within me. I can only solve this. Do I need to ask mom dad to take me for a therapy? That would be useful right?

Ugh!!!

Is it necessary to have a hard life? Can't one live peacefully? And I need a peaceful life. I really need it. Moreover I need a peaceful sleep. Will I ever get rid of them?

My nightmares!

Or will they remain as those forever?