Chapter 3

Truth be told I missed her more than I would care to admit to Renée, Jazzy, Pippa, and the whole cast. Her death had ripped a hole in my heart that I'm afraid to replace, "You wanna knock on her door or do you want to hide behind us for more of a surprise," Jazzy asked as I smiled.

"Hide behind you two for more of a surprise," I replied, "you two knock louder than I do and I think it would be a bigger surprise if she saw me behind you two."

"Great thinking," Renée exclaimed with a smile on her face, "you've always been this smart with surprises."

I grinned, she's always been like a mother to me ever since Rose died, I guess she understood how I felt with it. "Thanks," I said as we approached the door

Renée ended up being the one who knocked and Pippa's face of shock had me smiling. "Hey guys, what brings you here," she asked looking at the two of them

"We're here to help with redecorating," Jazzy said excitedly

"You really don't have to," Pippa said as Renée chuckle

"Accept the help Pip," she began, "you know Lin and I didn't get our rooms ready without any help and Steven's not here."

Pippa sighed once she realized that they were right, I stifled some laughter as I saw her open the door a little wider. "All right you two, come in," she said as I felt a smile appear on my face

At the point Jazzy winked in my direction, "You should recount the people on your porch Pippa," I said with a smile as I walked in behind Renée

"Samantha," Pippa exclaimed before darting to hug me, "you're here to help too?"

"You bet I am," I said with a smile, "it was their idea to include me since I haven't left Lin's house in a while."

Pippa's face filled with happiness before she shot a glare to her fellow actresses, "Please don't say the whole cast is going to come and help?"

Renée shrugged, "They may or may not," she began, "I only told Lin about the idea I don't know who else he would tell so if anyone else would come it would be him."

"And maybe Chris, Daveed, and Anthony," I chimed in with a grin, "you could probably add Leslie in with that group too."

"Don't forget John because he goes everywhere with Lin right now it's ridiculous," Pippa muttered as I chuckled watching her shoot another glare towards the two woman

"What are you glaring at us for," Renée began, "if it was just you getting that room ready you'd be working on it for days. Lin got Sammy's room ready within a month because we helped him, just think of how quickly the room will be done when the whole cast helps the mother of the cast."

"I am not the mother of the cast," Pippa shot at Renée making Jazzy and I laugh

"You are pretty much the mother of all of us Pip," Jazzy said, "you were more of a motherly figure than all of us with Sammy and Rose. You'd give both of them those big hugs if you haven't seen them in a long time."

A pain in my heart came as I remember the hugs that Pippa and I gave to Rose when we first thought she was going to live. "She's not wrong Pippa," I said as I forced a smile on my face, "you gave me a huge hug just now."

Pippa looked at me in mock shock, "I thought you were on my side," she said as I chuckled. "Fine y'all win this time," she said as I chuckled

"Are you sure about the next time," Renée asked as Pippa sighed

"If you two are done the room is up the stairs to the left," she began, "it was used as a storage room until Steve and I figured out what to use it for."

"Thanks, Pippa," Renée said as she and Jazzy darted up the stairs and I went to follow them

"Sammy, can I talk to you for a minute," Pippa asked as I put my foot on the first step

"Uh, yeah sure," I said as I heard Renée and Jazzy comment on the room, I followed Pippa into the kitchen where she invited me to sit down at a table by the porch, "what's up?"

"Are you fine with this," she asked me as she looked at me with eyes full of sadness. "This is the first time I've seen you since her death and you don't even seem like you're ready to move on."

I sighed as I remembered what Rose told me about death, "I may not be ready to move on from her death," I said almost reciting what she told me. "But whenever the opportunity comes to try and move on take it," I sighed once more. "That's something Rose told me when my parents died," I paused as I looked outside fingering her necklace. "She told me how she was able to move on from Ric's death thanks to you guys, she said to me that you will help me with whatever. That all of you helped her out of the hole that she put herself in," I paused once more as I remembered who else helped her. "She said that me, Cass, and Maria had also helped her get out of that hole of sadness," I said aloud as I took the necklace off and opened the locket to look at the picture of her with her two best friends. "I haven't even seen or heard from them since her funeral," I said as I ran my finger over the picture then looked at the next one over. "I guess the next chapter in my story is to move on," I mumbled as I looked at the picture of her kissing me after she sang Helpless in front of me

"Maybe you could help tell everyone her story," Pippa's voice said softly as I saw her hand rest on my wrist. "Yes, it may scare some of the kids but some of her story but it might change the world as Hamilton's story did," she paused as I closed the locket that was half-filled. "You do know that Eliza continued to live to tell his story right," she asked and I nodded, "Maybe you can be the Eliza of her story."

"Where do I start," I asked holding the necklace in my hands as if I was holding some water

"Are you coming with us to pick up Amy," she asked and I nodded, "you could ask the director what she knows about Rose, then you could probably ask Cass or Maria about the first houses that she was before she was forced to move away."

I smiled, "Let's start first with today," I began as I turned to look at the staircase just as a knock sounded at the door. "From what I'm getting we have a lot of redecorating to do," I added as Pippa got up from the table

"You're not wrong," she said with a chuckle, "go meet Renée and Jazzy upstairs, you'll be a great surprise to everyone who's coming."

I nodded with a wide grin as I ran up the steps to meet the two women discussing something. "I think some of the guys are coming," I began and their heads snapped in my direction

"There you are," Renée began before taking my arm which still held the necklace. "Come look at this area for a minute," she said as I chuckled

"Can you hold on a minute please," I said as Renée looked at me with a face of surprise before I turned over my wrist. "Pippa wanted to make sure I was okay," I said as I opened my hand, "gave me some ideas on how to move on but I'm starting with today first."

"Take your time," Jazzy said, "I'll distract the men so you'll still be a surprise since Lin told me you helped him finish up some things in Rachel's room."

I chuckled as I realized the hint that she was giving me, "Okay, thanks Jazzy," I said as she winked at me before hurrying down the stairs while I put the necklace back on and tucked it under my shirt with the pendant my father gave me.

"What did she suggest," Renée asked as we walked into the room

I sighed as I looked around the room picking at a nearby box, "She suggested that I take a page out of Eliza's book and tell Rose's story. She suggested that I talk to some of the people that knew Rose as well as Cass and Maria. She knows how some of the things that Rose went through may scare kids but it may change the world as Hamilton's story did."

"That's a good idea,' Renée said as she rubbed my back, "if you want to take a break from Rachel you can spend the night at my place today."

I smiled as I looked into a box just as some footsteps approach the room, "Thanks Renée," I said just as I picked up a box

"Here let me get that for you," Daveed's voice said as I couldn't see where I was going. "Any idea on where to put it," he asked as I winked in Renée's direction

"I was thinking of putting all the boxes along the wall in the hallway so Pippa can figure out what to do with them," I answered as I felt the box leave my hands

"Sammy," he asked before turning towards the door, "Samantha Miranda?"

"The one and only," I said with a chuckle as he used my new last name, just then Lin and Anthony appeared at the door. "I was expecting John to be with you dad," I said with a giggle as Lin ran in to give me a hug

"That's where you're partially wrong kid," John's voice said from the doorway, "I was right behind your father."

"You sure you want to do this Mija," Lin asked me, looking into my eyes, "you don't have to help if you don't want to."

I shook my head, "I need to move on," I began, "besides how are all of you going to redecorate in one day as well as plan a surprise for the little one."

"You read her biological mother's books didn't you," Renée asked with a chuckle as I nodded

"When one of your children fell in love with the reference I wanted to check it out myself," I said as Anthony hugged me once Lin finally left my side. "Today's the first step towards my healing and thanks to Pippa's help I figured what I'm going to do in her memory and I may need your help dad," I said as he looked in a box

"Why's that," he asked as he picked up a box

"I need to find a way to tell her story," I said with a smile as he looked at me and grinned

"You got my help Mija but who are you going to ask to know about her past," Lin asked as Leslie came in

"What he said," he said while giving me a hug

"Well I'm coming with the sisters to pick up Pippa's daughter so I thought I'd start by asking about the houses that she lived in here," I began as I picked up a smaller box. "Then I'm going to ask her best friends that I haven't seen since her death, I wonder how they'll feel about this."

"We'll be glad to help," Cass's voice said from the staircase as Maria charged me with a hug. "I apologize on her behalf because she just remembered why your name sounded so familiar to her."

"I hate seeing you hurt like this old friend," Maria said as she hugged me tightly

"What's the number that I put at the end of my last letter," I asked her as she looked up into my eyes and Lin stood behind me

"103," she answered, "it's nice to finally meet you but I wish you didn't go through so much pain and tears and I also wish I had Rose with us."

I hugged her as a smile spread across my face, "You and me both Maria," I said as I felt Lin put a hand on my shoulder. "She's fine," I began, "the last letter I wrote there was to her talking about how I wanted to leave there and hated the fact that they were killing for a sport."

"You trust each other," he asked as I nodded, "you do know that the police weren't able to get everyone right?"

I nodded, "Yes," I began, "that's why I'm going to be careful where I go so I don't have any incidents caused by my past."

"What are you doing tonight," Lin asked me with an arched eyebrow

"Renée offered that I stay the night at her house and I accepted it," I answered nonchalantly as he smiled

"That's a good idea," Cass began as she finally approached to hug me, "if you want some time with another teenager you can spend the night at our place."

I looked at her in shock, "You two have a place together?"

Cass blushed as Maria chuckled, "Yeah we do and there's something else," Maria answered for the taller woman

"What is it," I asked, looking between the two, "please don't say you're staying with each other for protection because one of you were jumped."

Cass snorted, "That's not it," she began as I saw her hand moving to Maria's side, "your relationship with Rose encouraged us to come out to each other."

I squealed in happiness as I jumped up and down, "I love that for both of you," I said once I landed my last jump. "She would be so happy for the both of you," I added as the two smiled

"Thanks, Sammy," Cass said as Maria squeezed her hand

"Sams, Cass, Maria, stop catching up and get your but in here to help," Lin's voice said from the bedroom

"Sams," Cass and Maria exclaimed as I chuckled walking into the room, "you're healing big time," Cass said as Lin handed me a box

I smiled as I heard Renée chuckle, "When I was with Rose I realized that I didn't have to associate that nickname or any others with bad memories. I can always remember the good one and you are a part of those memories as well as the whole cast because they helped me to learn to trust as much as she did."

Everyone showed their appreciation to that with hugs, thank you's or sounds of affection but after that, we were all working in the room. At one point I had gone with Pippa and Renée to get some new paint for the room along with some furniture but before I knew it I was going to Renée's house for the night.

"I'm happy for you," Renée began as she pulled into the driveway, "how do you want to do this tomorrow and where do you want to sleep?"

"I could ask the director if she could give me the names of the people who fostered her and look for them by that, while you three get Amy," I began thoughtfully. "I'll sleep in the usual room," I said as she looked at me with wide eyes, "I'll be fine sleeping in her room Renée it's not going to hurt me if I sleep in her room. Besides, I'm more comfortable sleeping in her room than any other room, maybe it's because of the memories."

"How are you this good at planning these kinds of things on the whim," Renée asked me and I chuckled

"Maybe I got used to it when I was in the gang," I replied as we stepped out of the car

"Alexis, Bri, Ben, I have a guest here," Renée called out to the house once we got into the house. "I wish you didn't have to go through that quick of thinking much less for those reasons too."

I smiled just as a young voice cheered my name before attacking me with a hug followed by an older voice. "Thanks, Renée," I said as the two children hugged me, "Hey there little ones," I said to them as they looked up at me with joy and sadness in their eyes

"Could you sing for me Sammy," Bri asked with a pout, "it's getting a little tiresome with mom being the only one singing."

I chuckled, "Sure thing Bri," I began, "go on upstairs I'll be there in a minute or two," I said pausing for a minute to remember the lullaby that Rose sang to her. "Hey Ben," I said as I looked at the sadness in his eyes

"Why does it hurt so much Sammy," he asked before attacking me with a hug and crying as I hugged him back making sure to rub circles around his back

"I wish I knew little one," I said as the tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, "I wish I knew."

That night I sang to Bri the lullaby that Rose had taught me before I walked into Rose's old room and sat in the bean bag by the window looking at her Facebook profile. She had so much joy in her life before the crash and even after it hurt my heart to look at these but I wanted to find a way to move on.

"Hey," a soft voice said from the doorway making my head snap up to see Renée at the doorway

"Hey," I said with a smile as she scanned the room

The room was simple with light blue walls, a desk in the corner across from me where Rose and I would fight to see who would do our homework there when I was staying. Underneath the window was a small dresser that held some knick-knacks that Rose had gotten from the cast that I hadn't gone through yet and the dust told me that Renée and Alexis hadn't either. In the middle of the room sat a queen-sized bed with nightstands that had lamps with USB ports at the base of both of them. At the other side of the room was a walk-in closet that still held her clothes

"I see that you raided her closet," Renée said as she sat at the edge of the be looking into my eyes

I blushed as I looked at myself wearing the oversized Hamilton t-shirt paired with a pair of Adidas sweatpants that she had in one of her drawers. "They're comfortable and they still smell like her," I said as I buried myself into the beanbag

Renée chuckled, "You can take some of her things back if you want to," she said as I smiled

"Thanks," I said as I closed my laptop and set it on a dresser next to a ring box. Hesitantly, I picked up the box, "I forgot about this," I said as I turned it around in my hand

"What do you mean," Renée asked staring at the box in my hands

"She told me that if she was ever to die sooner rather than later," I began as I brushed off the dust that was on it. "To open this and read what was inside, some of the names may be different but it would still hold true to her desires."

"Open it," she said as she moved to the desk

I opened the box and gasped as a ring glistened in the light from the room and a piece of paper fell onto my lap. "What the," I muttered as I took the ring out and looked at it noticing the inscription on the inside of the band almost instantly

'I will always love you, even with my final breath -Richard Ashley III'

"Read the letter," Renée said as I put the ring on my hand and looked at my reflection in the gemstone. With trembling hands, I took the letter that was folded to fit inside the box

'My Dearest Sams

I understand how you may be feeling right now as you opened this box and seen its contents, I've had those same feelings when I lost Ric. I want you to move one no matter how hard it may be to do so at this moment, you can do whatever you want with the ring and the necklace that I had asked the doctor to give to you when I passed. Unfortunately, I have planned for something like this to occur while I was dating you because of how Fate hates my life and the Fates of Greek mythology have decided to cut my life short with the rusted scissors that have been used to end the greatest of lives. Please do not end your life so you can see me sooner than later or else I'll find a way to put you back into your place in the land of the living. If you do end up in the positions that I have seen myself in please don't think of giving up if you have a choice because if you do have a choice there are always good things waiting for you if you wish to stay. That is something that I found out with the death of my parents and the death of Ric. Thank you for being there for me for as long as you did and thank you and the cast for showing me the love that I missed.

I will love you forever and always

I wish you the best and I will stay with you for as long as possible

Rose Abigail Stevens-Goldsberry'

I felt the tears roll down my cheek as I folded the paper back up holding it close to my heart before I put it on top of my laptop with the box and took off my necklace to look at the picture of our first public kiss. "Why did her life have to end like this," I cried holding the picture to my heart as I curled up deeper into the beanbag

A sniff came from across from me, "I wish I knew," Renée's sad voice said from the desk as I looked up to see her crying. "This is almost the exact same thing that happened when Ric died," she began, "I'm guessing she did that to help you move on because that seemed to have helped her."

"But why did she have to leave now," I sobbed, "why couldn't it be a lot later than now. Why couldn't it be during graduation or even when I didn't have feelings for her?"

"I don't know my dear," she said as I curled into the beanbag so far that I could feel the floor underneath it. "But the best thing that we can do at this point is to do what she wished for you to do. You can keep the letter and the ring if you want," she said after a pause

"What did she do with this," I asked Renée as I felt her rub circles around my back

"She wore it for Ric on her left hand until she went to school on the day that you saw her again," Renée began, "when she came back from school she was the happiest I have seen her since Ric had died. You can do what you want with it, you don't have to wear it. If you want to I can sell it to someone and give you the money from it," she finished as I looked at it finally deciding what I wanted to do

with it

"No," I began as I traced the inscription on it, "I'm keeping it for the memories just as I'm keeping this necklace," I paused as I slid the ring of my finger and took off the leather necklace that I've had for as long as I can remember. "It'll go on this necklace because the gem on her lands by my heart and that's where she'll stay," I finished as I tied the leather necklace while the tears were still streaming down my cheeks like a never-ending waterfall.

The rubbing on my back had stopped, "Okay," she said with a smile, "get some rest we're going to have a busy day tomorrow."

"Goodnight Renée," I said as she left the room

"Goodnight Sams," she said to which I smiled at, "I'll see you in the morning."

"See ya," I said as she closed the door behind her, I sat there for a few minutes before putting the locket back together and putting it around my neck where it made a satisfying clink with the ring and the gem. I then got up, plugged my laptop in at the desk before turning off the lights, and laying on the bed, "See you in my dreams Rosy," I whispered before I fell asleep.