Koi fish

I wish that I too could swim without worry

But thoughts like hurricanes wreck any semblance of peacefulness,

I see them swim lazily

Without a care

I remember times when I was carefree

And wasnt emotionaly wrecked

Im not carefree

I simply cannot afford it

I cannot afford to be pure in a world so tainted it would tarnish white as soon as it was seen

So I welcomed it

I could not afford being carefree so I became colder instead

I look at the koi fish

Entirely white

Envy.

That's what I feel.

I snap out of my daze and continue on like nothing happened