Regected

Its bad when even a counseling app regrets you,and I know it's trying to tell me that online counseling apps are very effective in som situations no the face to face outselling I'd better but the whole freaking reason I was trying the online counseling school because my family is too freaking poor to pay for counseling and even if we weren't poor I'm not telling my parents anything about me. But whatever I'll just bottle my feelings up as usual because no one ever cares to listen.

I just really wished it that it didn't tell me no again because everything is getting worse. Not many things make me happy anymore. I just kinda feel.....numb and it's like I'm sleepwalking through life. But what does it matter. I hop I get lucky and everything will end soon enough.

Some of my friends and boyfriend have been noticing that I've changed. They are always asking me "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?" Then one of my friends just straight up told me to stop being sad. Then now that I think about it the friends I've only know for a couple months have noticed my change in attitude. The friends I've known longer don't see a difference. I'm also reading a book about a girl planning her suicide. It's called "By the time you read this I'll be dead" by Julie Anne peters then another book is "Impulse" by Ellen Hopkins and that's from the point of view of three kids who are all in an institution because they all tried killing themselves in different ways.