One

We worry too much.

It eats us up and makes us alien-like to the point that we don't know how to function without worrying. It becomes a necessity without even knowing. Worrying about why Mrs Jenkins - our neighbour - looked at me funny that one time; worrying about why I failed on my Science exam or why that boy who wears poorly-fitting clothes and the same pair of sneakers every day showed up at my house with a cherry pie one Saturday morning.

We, as people, get so caught up in the worries of life and forget about the positives. Instead of seeing our uniqueness, we see it as imperfections and worry that we're never 'good enough' or we see the mess after a party instead of the memories we created while making the mess, those kinds of minuscule things that - in the end - won't matter. Not in the slightest.

I just wish I had known that when I came face to face with Jessica Browne, Dylan's new 'something'.

Jessica wasn't a Regina George type nor anything similar. She was quick-witted, passionate and compassionate; in charge of the school newspaper and the one to keep us updated on all the exams we had coming up or made sure everyone felt 'at home' during school hours - she was humble, uncomplaining and pretty. She was known to all but not quite a teacher's pet; not popular but not unpopular. She was just Jessica Rue Browne, and that told everyone enough.

She was talking to the new bunch of Freshmen in front of the school, and I stood frozen and worried. High school was back in action after summer and it was that awkward time where we were all trying to regain classmate status with one another. Worriedly make memories in a desperate attempt to prolong the life of these discontented five days a week.

Worried that she'd see me, by some force of nature, her friendship group would appear and laugh at me or that she'd shapeshift into a Devil then eat me whole. The worry surged through my body, even though I knew it had no reason to, and I speed-walked right past her and into the building; wanting to crumble into nothing when I accidentally hit my bag on hers.

I'd only ever spoken to Jessica a handful of times in my entire high school career and our exchanges were never of importance. In fact, I didn't even have her number or knew just about anything that she liked, disliked, where she hung out during lunch, or when her birthday was. Yet, for some reason, I was so worried that she'd manifest her way into my life and create a version of Hell, just because the word spread that she and Dylan were 'something'.

"Damn, Bea. You look like you've seen a ghost." Amalia commented when she saw me. "What happened on the thirty-second walk up to the school? A devil crawl up from the pits of hell?"

"Something like that." I acknowledged. "Completely nonsensical, I'm losing my mind, Lia."

She hugged me, said she wouldn't interfere and so we headed to class while my head was still worrying about Jessica Browne.

The day felt like it was never going to end, but most Mondays felt that way.

Our school was a regular school and so nothing incredibly special ever happened nor was their many cliques, but we did have a monthly 'Destroy the School' day which, like the name suggests, destroying the school (under-regulated grounds) which was fun. It was a nice environment to be in, people got along, and the teachers didn't act like they were 'above' us; we threw school parties for as many events as we could during the semester and the janitor brought me chocolate that one time she found me crying in the gym after the breakup. It was a worry less place most of the time, we didn't have bullies and was never in the news for anything absurd.

Lunch rolled around, the cafeteria was bustling but just as I was about to eat, a hand rested on my back and a familiar slender face peered into my peripheral vision.

"Hey," It was Browne. "Are you okay?" With my chicken wrap still in hand, halfway in my mouth, she looked at me with a concerned look.

"Just, earlier, you seemed super on-edge, I'm just checking in."

"Nice to see you too, Jess." Amalia vouched, non-harshly.

I put my wrap down. "Hey, Jessica. I'm fine! Just a lot going through my head this morning is all. Thanks though, but you don't need to be worried."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, I just don't want you to feel down." She hesitated for a minute. "Actually, can I speak to you for a second, Bailey? Sorry, Amalia." She never abbreviated our names, not for the four years that I had known her.

Amalia shot me a look to which I returned. "I guess...?" I replied.

Jessica led me outside and gestured for me to sit on the bench, the worry was eating me alive. She was probably going to recite a monologue about hating me or slap me silly. Instead, she held my hands - I recoiled slightly but she insisted. "Bailey, what do I do?"

"...Excuse me?" I stammered.

"I know that we've never really considered each other as friends or anything, but please don't hate me."

"I am so sorry, Jessica, but I'm so lost here." I knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Dylan," She sputtered. "I know you guys had a thing for, like, three years and then you guys... And now it's been three months and school's back in business and we'll see each other basically every day until we graduate- " She was about to cry and a small part of me felt evil; like I had made her like this.

"Jessica." I began.

"You really don't need to do this, if anything you're kind of making it... worse. If I can manage four months, I can manage however many more. Please don't think you owe me anything or that we'll have some kind of feud. We're in school, not a prison, Jess." Jessica was staring at me with vulnerable eyes, all her layers completely gone. "Dylan is just some guy and I don't own him. It's not a big deal. Seriously."

I hesitated. "Besides, I don't think you guys are dating, right?"

"No we're not, but I feel like I owe you a conversation since it's our final year here and you guys were the talk of the town for so long."

All the worry that I had been feeling suddenly crept up again, telling me that she was building the foundation of my demise. I ignored it and hugged Jessica Browne as she let loose onto my shoulder and spotted Amalia staring at us from the entrance, she chuckled and gave me a semi-ironic thumbs-up before heading back to her salad then I noticed that Jackson - her brother - had taken my seat and was devouring my wrap.

She pulled away. "I can't thank you enough, Bailey. I was so worried for the past three months, I didn't want to bring it up but as soon as I saw you I couldn't help myself."

"Three months?" My mouth went dry.

"Yeah, we started talking at the start of summer!" She chimed happily.

"Yeah... That's good..." I faltered.

Three months engraved itself in my mind in big, bright, bold letters and gave me a headache. I was sick of all these feelings, but I suppose that when you loved someone for three years, it comes with a heavy load of the aftermath. I just didn't understand, I had gone four glorious months without a single thought of the boy nor his life but now that school was back and I wasn't sat in bed all day, it seems like I was being forced to think about every aspect of his life, for the betterment of mine.

"I'm going to get back to my lunch, see you around, Jessica," I said, going to leave.

She abruptly stood up and wiped her face. "Thanks again, Bailey."

I shot her a smile and headed back to Jackson and Lia, disappointed that my wrap had disappeared. "I hate you, Jackson." I joked.

"Next time don't leave your food to go have a chat with emotional teenage girls." He said, his curly hair shining in the sun.

I stuck my tongue out at him and sat down. "She wanted to talk to me about Dylan."

"He seems to be everywhere lately," Amalia added, rolling her eyes. Dylan and her never truly got along; they tried to for my sake, but some people just don't click. They never argued or fought but there was always a slight tension between the two that appeared towards the end of our relationship. "It's like he's haunting you."

"Don't jinx it," I said.