Going Back

Six years later

Bella's POV

Six years. Six years since I moved away from my home town. Six years since I was last there packing all my things and living all the worst memories of my life. Six years and now I'm going back.

I don't know where the idea came from to be perfectly honest. All my worst memories are up there, were up there. My dad, the school, that party, Emily but worst of all Liam. Even though the worst thing with Liam happened down here, in London, Edinburgh still brings back the worst memories. At least in London I don't have chances of running into him. I don't have to relive any memories.

I should be fine though, going back that is. I have two little companions with me now. Jade and Marcus. Jade looks like me. She has ginger hair, blue eyes and she loves books. She's only six but she is already reading books like Narnia and Charles Dickens. I'm proud of her. Marcus kind of looks like Liam. Brown fluffy hair, dark brown eyes and he can look tough. He is brilliant at maths though for his age.

Flashback

"Now go and let me have some fun with her" he orders again.

"No!" I screamed "please don't do this!"

The boy pulls down his hood revealing his face. Dark brown eyes, fluffy brown hair and a smirk that could do more damage than good. Liam.

"Shh. The more you scream, the longer it'll take" He says starting to remove my clothing.

I couldn't breathe over his hand covering my mouth. I tried to scream for help but it was almost impossible. Soon I just gave up.

"There's only one way to make sure you don't go near Emily ever again and this is it"

The car ride is long. Thankfully my kids aren't the type to complain. It's quiet though for me. I love the quiet but I'm used to the noise. Throughout the last few years there was lots of noise but I loved the last few years. Before we know it we arrive in Edinburgh.

I grab the suitcases out of the boot and take the kids into the house. My old house. My mum kept the house in case I ever wanted to come back. Upstairs I still had half of my books. The half I couldn't take with me. Everything was exactly the same as we left it, with a lot of dust of course.

Jade and Marcus ran upstairs and picked out their rooms. There was four rooms which was exactly the same as my Aunt's house but with five of us there the twins shared a room. I promised them that here they could have their own.

"Mum. Can I have a bookshelf in my room?" Jade asks me sweetly.

I smile at her "Of course you can sweetie. I'll get one tomorrow for you?"

"Yey!!!" She says running around.

She seems a little to hyper. As she's running around I hear someone knock on the door so I go open it.

On the other side of the door is a tall blond haired girl. One I know quite well.

"Lilly!" I scream and give her a hug.

"Hey, I heard you were coming back how are you?" She says in a very sincere way.

"Much better thank you. How about you?

"Mummy. Who's this?" Marcus says hiding behind me.

"Oh my god" I can hear Lilly whispering.

"Marcus. This is Lilly. Say hello to Lilly!"

"Hello Lilly" He says with a cute little voice.

"Hello Marcus" She says back in complete disbelief.

I can tell how weird this must be for her. She knew about my pregnancy and I can imagine that she was told how.

"Come on in I'll make you a coffee" I tell her and she walks in almost immediately.

                                             -1-

"So, you kept them?" She asks me.

"Of course I did. I couldn't get rid of them and honestly I'm glad I did"

I don't know what my life would be without them. I honestly don't.

"Are you still on your medication?"

"Yeh. I am but I'm fit to take care of my kids. Don't worry. My turn to ask a question. Does Emily know I am here?"

I see Lilly's face turn red "Look, there's something I should tell you"

I nod to show her I'm listening.

"Emily married Liam"

Oh. Right. Of course she did. Why did I think she wouldn't have?

"Umm okay. That's alright. As long as she is safe of course.  "

"Yeh and she's happy as well"

"That's great for her"

Lilly is feeling awkward now I know she is. It was nice to see her but I think she should go. Maybe I'll see Emily, one day.

"I should get unpacking, I'll see you another time" I tell her and she grabs her stuff and leaves.

"Jade, Marcus it's been a long day and mum needs some sleep so let's all sleep alright?"

"Okay mummy" they say and I tuck them into bed.

I stay in my bed for another hour or so before I even think about sleeping. Thing are much different than I though they would be. Emily married Liam. I always though that was going to happen, I always knew. But now that it has it feels weird. Like it shouldn't have happened. Like the whole world has changed because of it.

Maybe a part of me still loves her. Who am I kidding? Of course it does. I've only ever loved her and one other. The one other even ended because I still loved her but I can't let her know. She's happy. She'll be happy forever. I don't want to ruin her future. Maybe one day I'll be over her and we will see each other and nothing will happen. We can be friends again, best friends like we used to be. That would be great but until then I will stay away from her. I have to. For myself and for her.