| I need a Cigarette

Ollie had taken plenty of supplies to last from the sanctuary before finding the truck and making their big escape. He'd filled the vehicle with bags stocked with unknown items, weapons, and whatever else would fit. A pack of cigarettes were heavy in his pocket as he watched his older sister cry from a distance. She held Dax's hand tight as Cash filled the whole Ezra's body laid in. Good thing Ollie grabbed a shovel on the way out or this would've been a lot more sad.

Black hair filled his vision as Violet leaned in front of him to grab his attention. The young man huffed, turning away from her with a scowl.

"Come on, you're still mad at me? Even after I decided to stay with you guys?"

"You only stayed because of Cash."

He mumbled, smooshing his cheek as he rested his face in his hand.

Violet sighed tiredly before sitting next to him, pulling her knees close and wrapping her arms around them.

"You don't get it, Ollie."

She started in a quiet anxious tone,

"You're constantly surrounded by guys that you can look up to or ask advice. When I finally got that, everyone was trying to take it away and I was angry about it."

Ollie finally turned back to Violet but instead of meeting her bright brown eyes he saw Violet's beautiful hair cascading down her shoulders as she watched the others in the distance, a tear rolled down her cheek and Ollie had to fight the urge to wipe it away.

"I didn't know you felt that way..."

she rolled her eyes with a playful scoff, furiously wiping at her cheeks.

"Yeah, because just like all guys you only think about yourself."

Ollie's brows knitted at that comment.

"That's not true." He quickly shot back with a shake of his head.

"You know that's not true."

She finally turned to him, their eyes meeting. He hesitated before wrapping a hand around one of hers, the tips of his ears turning a dark scarlet as he thought over the words he was about spill from his lips.

"I care about you more than I care about myself. I'm sorry I didn't show it enough, but I'm saying it now. Don't leave us. Please."

Violet's mouth was agape and her eyes wide at his sudden confession.

Ollie quickly turned away, his cheeks now heating up as she stayed silent. His heart raced as he started to pull his hand away but Violet stopped him, instead intertwining their fingers.

"I care about you too, Ollie. A lot. Im sorry for threatening to leave. It won't happen again."

He couldn't help the goofy smile that pulled at his lips, turning away as his entire body broke out in a bright red blush.

"Do you, Uh- do you want to go smoke a cigarette somewhere where Cash and Tabb won't see?"

She giggled at his nervousness, nodding gleefully before they got up and started towards the woods near by.

***

Rory watched helplessly as Tabb poured a bottle of water over Jude's wound where he had been grazed by a bullet. Jude's face screwed in pain, his teeth clenching as he held back a yell.

Rory couldn't help but wince as Tabb dabbed aggressively to clean and dry it.

He turned away, unable to watch the man in pain. He regretted it because his eyes immediately fell on the pool of blood and the hole in the bed of the truck where Ezra had died. He sighed, moving to wipe his eyes only to pause when he saw the stains of blood covering his hands.

Rory hadn't even seen the arrow coming towards Kyle right next to him so he was confused for only a second when Ezra pushed her into him. Then he was being stabbed by an arrow, the force of it pinning him to the bed of the truck right behind them.

"Ezra!"

Rory was in shock but Kyle cried out immediately before crawling towards the man to cover him as they slammed through the gate. The few Zs right outside either being ran over or struggling to hold onto the vehicle as they drove away.

Ezra cried out in pain, the arrow piercing him shaking as the truck moved beneath them. Rory shot at any Z that attached themselves to the vehicle.

"Fuck that hurt."

Ezra coughed out as they finally made it onto somewhat steadier ground. Blood was already pooling around them, staining each of their clothes.

"Why would you do that?"

Kyle sobbed, her hands shaking aggressively as she held them right above his wound.

Rory looked to Tabb, the only one of them who he knew had medical training of any kind. The bruised blonde man stared at Ezra with wide hopeless eyes. This was way out of his depth.

If they broke the arrow and pulled him off it he would only bleed out quicker.

"I hesitated."

Ezra choked out, turning his head in Dax's direction on the left of him.

"I hesitated.. to shield her..."

He spoke between broken breathes.

"She said you didn't hesitate."

He reached for Dax's arm, looking down at the fresh gauze around his wrist. Heterochromic eyes were wide as Ezra struggled to speak at a volume loud enough to hear over the engine.

"I'm sorry for how I-"

He winced in pain and Dax cut him off with a playful scoff, trying to cover the sad tone in his voice.

"Sorry for what?"

His brows knitted, giving away his true feelings.

"For the dick measuring contest?"

He laughed wettly, tears threatening to surface in his eyes.

"We were both assholes."

Ezra nodded tiredly, his eyes obviously struggling to stay open as he attempted to take a deep breath, instead it caused him to cough up more blood.

He felt numbness run from the tip of his toes slowly up to his fingers to the back of his eyes. He still couldn't breath but for some reason the pain was bareable. He felt like he was floating. His eyes fell on red curls and a smile pulled at his lips. He reached a hand up with as much effort as he could, brushing his fingers through thick curls. Kyle grabbed his pale hand with her own, sliding it down to her lips and kissing it. Her face was soaking wet but Ezra couldn't feel her tears on the skin of his hand. She was so beautiful when she cried, like a tragic work of art.

He wanted to tell Kyle he loved her but all that came out was a choking sound that made the pain grow. He regretted talking to Dax now. He should've used his last words on Kyle. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her he loved her.

Kyle shushed him sliding a hand to his jaw and her thumb over his bloody lips.

"I love you."

Kyle spoke sternly through her tears,

"I love you so much."

Ezra nodded weakly. He began feeling continuously more lightheaded, the once familiar faces surrounding him becoming too blurry to recognize. All except Kyle, who he held onto as tightly as he could. If he was going to die he was happy that she would be the last thing he saw. He only hoped Kyle would make it to the bunker. His arms had gone limp a while ago, Kyle's grip was the only thing keeping his hand against her face. His eye lids were too heavy to keep open.

"No, don't close your eyes."

Kyle commanded, letting go of his hand and instead taking Ezra's face in her own hands.

"Please, stay awake."

The dark headed man tried his hardest to keep his blue eyes open but it was becoming almost impossible.

"I told you I'd never leave you."

She whimpered,

"So please don't leave me..."

She was sobbing over Ezra's face now, small tear droplets falling to his pale cheeks.

Kyle sniffled as Ezra's eyes fell closed, her brows knitting as she watched the life drain from him.

"Ezra?"

She called his name in a hushed tone.

When he made no effort of acknowledging her a pained cry escaped her lips. She held his hand tightly with both of hers, pressing it against her cheek as she sobbed.

Everyone around her stayed silent, heartbroken over the sight in front of them.

"If it makes you uncomfortable you don't have to watch. I'm okay by myself."

Rory was dragged from his memories by Jude's soft voice, he hadn't even realized he'd zoned out staring at his bloody hands. He balled them into fists before turning to Jude to see that gentle smile.

"Really, I swear I'm okay. Tabb's almost done anyways. Right?"

Tabb nodded in answer, his focus not leaving from where he was preparing the thread and needle to stitch him up.

Rory forced a smile,

"Are you sure? I don't mind-"

"I don't need you to hold my hand,"

Jude started in a soft tone.

"You look like you need some time to collect your thoughts. I'll be here when you get back."

Rory sighed, relief flooding through him at Jude's words. He was right. Rory needed to collect his thoughts. So much had happened in the past couple of days and Ezra's death was just the cherry on top.

He only wished Jude could be there with him.

"Yeah.... You're right."

He huffed tiredly, wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist. He stood up from the truck, grabbing the edge and jumping over.

"Don't forget your gun."

Jude reminded him, his smile not wavering as Rory pulled his gun from the back of his pants to show it off before trudging towards the forest.

"You're so obvious."

Tabb chuckled and Jude looked away, his cheeks starting to blush.

"He doesn't like me like that."

"How do you know?"

Jude sighed, fighting himself on whether he wanted their new friend to know about their past. He used to be able to talk to Rory about anything, they were best friends. Yet, ever since he told Rory about his true feelings, things were different.

"I confessed to him once and he ran away."

"But did he say he didn't like you?"

"I mean..."

Jude thought back to the moment he confessed. The confused and terrified expression on Rory's face that shattered Jude's heart into a thousand pieces. Yet...

"He didn't say anything."

Jude shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"He just stared at me for a minute before running out."

Tabb examined Jude's expression for a moment before moving closer and starting to sew his wound. Jude gritt his teeth once again, grunting at the sudden pain it caused him.

"Did you ever think that maybe he was scared?"

Jude tried to listen to the man as he stabbed the needle into his skin but he was having a hard time focusing through the pain.

"Maybe he didn't realize his feelings until you brought it up."

Tabb continued to talk, hoping his advice would somewhat distract Jude from the pain.

"I know when I told Cash I loved him for the first time, he freaked out. I was heart broken, I thought that was it for us. A month later he told me how he really felt. He was scared of having feelings for someone. Especially in this world."

Tabb scoffed at his own sentence.

"It's hard for some people to have feelings. It doesn't mean they don't have them at all."

                                   ***

The only sound around Rory was the crunch of leaves and twigs under his shoes. A bird would tweet every now and then and the wind would whistle but he was too focused on his thoughts to hear them.

It had only been a week since they left for the bunker. How had things already gone so south? He felt like he was loosing everyone around him. Didn't the universe get enough when it took his sister from him? His jaw clenched at the thought. No. That wasn't the universe. That was him, that was his fault. Alaina might've made it to the bunker if he'd just protected her better.

Then again it seemed like no matter what Rory did, people around him were taken. Alaina was only the first in a line of people that he'd killed. Unintentionally of course, yet that meant nothing when they were dead.

Speaking of which, when had he come into this power of people taking his place when he died? He thought of Mable and Finn. He felt bad for taking the friends of his new comrades but he couldn't help but feel relief it wasn't Jude or one of his own friends that was killed in his place.

Jude...

Rory sighed. If he didn't know how he felt about the blond before it couldn't have been more obvious now, and he hated himself for it. How could he let himself feel so much for someone?

If something happened to another member of his group he'd be upset and mourn their death but if Jude was taken from him? He would be destroyed.

Things had changed between them. At first he thought it was all Jude's fault. He had to go and ruin their friendship with a confession like that. Yet now that so much had happened, he knew it was himself who had ruined something so beautiful.

Why did he have to be so goddamn confused and selfish all the time?

Why couldn't he just be a normal fucking person?

Why couldn't he-

Rory paused as the smell of cigarette smoke filled his nostrils and a high pitched laugh lit up his ears. He examined the forest around him, stopping when he spotted two small figures in the distance sitting together. He cautiously snuck towards them, his pistol drawn and cocked as he drew closer. He could hear their voices, but he was still too far to make out what they were saying.

They smoked casually, one of them coughing profusely at each hit of their cigarette.

Just as he was getting close enough to hear he stepped on a branch and they were alerted. He cursed himself, picking up his pace as they stood. Relief filled his bones as they both turned in his direction for Rory to recognize. He should've guessed.

"What are you two doing out here alone?"

He asked as he came through the trees to reveal himself. The look of fear in their eyes didn't leave as they both threw their lit buds as far as they could.

"We're not alone. We have each other."

Violet started,

"But you are."

Ollie finished for her.

Rory lifted an eyebrow, looking over the kids with skepticism.

"Touché."

It was silent as he looked them over, the pack of smokes in Ollie's hand being shoved in a pocket as soon as he noticed them. Violet anxiously played with the string of her bow wrapped around her before she finally cracked.

"Please don't tell my brother we were smoking."

Violet suddenly pleaded in a desperate tone. Rory couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his lips as he watched Ollie turn to her with a betrayed expression.

"What? He already saw. It was too late to play stupid."

"Yeah, but we could've tried!"

Ollie groaned back and Rory chuckled at the young teens. He remembered the first time he was caught smoking. It was with Dax when they were only slightly older than the kids in front of him. He had gotten the beating of lifetime when he came home smelling like smoke.

"I won't tell anyone if you give me half the pack."

Ollie quickly obliged, whipping the pack back out in record time and pulling out a couple to shove in his pockets before handing over the rest. Rory pulled one out and placed it between his lips before motioning for a lighter which Violet quickly supplied. He sighed at the burn of nicotine filling his lungs and the smell of smoke in the air. He missed these things. Just another small pleasure the Apocalypse had taken without warning.

"Although, I think the power couple are gonna notice when you come back smelling like smoke."

"Well, now we can just say it was you."

Violet shot back.

"Smart girl."

He looked over their faces, neither of their nervous expressions had lightened up. How could Rory blame them? They didn't know him. He could turn back right now and snitch on them. Even after being tortured along side them, Rory wasn't aquatinted enough with Cash and Tabb to know how they'd react.

"Come on, you guys are walking with me. You shouldn't be alone out here."

They both nodded without question and Rory turned on his heels, the crunch of their steps telling him they were following.

"Thanks for being cool. Cash and Tabb would scold us for weeks."

"Well you're lucky one of the others didn't find you, I couldn't promise they wouldn't snitch."

He turned to them, handing the lighter back as they both put a cigarette to their lips.

He chuckled as Ollie struggled to light his and Violet lent a hand.

"We're sorry about your friend."

Violet spoke quietly as they walked beside him.

"We didn't know Ezra that well but you all seemed close."

"Yeah, well... I'm sorry about your friends too."

He took a deep huff of smoke, enjoying it as much as he could.

"They all deserved better."

It was quiet as they continued to walk, losing track of time and their thoughts. Rory liked this. He was glad Jude told him what he needed. God knew he didn't know for himself.

"What do you think happens after you die?"

Ollie suddenly asked and Rory hesitated in his next step before he realized the question hadn't been meant for him.

"Tabb says you go to heaven. Cash says it's just like before you were born. Who can know for sure?"

Violet answered him with yet another question. Rory knew. At least for him. It was just more suffering, more death, there was no peace.

"What do you think Rory?"

Violet asked him, her brown eyes turning to face his. Rory shrugged,

"I used to tell my sister we would be reincarnated into a better world."

He couldn't help the fond expression that fell on his face. He'd been so focused on her death, it'd been a while since he'd remembered the time he spend with her when she was alive.

"When we died we would come back to a world where people thrived and magical creatures roamed and we'd all have nice, soft beds to come home to."

"But that's not real."

Violet commented with a soft voice and Rory sighed.

"Yeah, well, it made her feel better."

It made him feel better.

The sun was almost done setting as the sound of footsteps alerted all three of them. There was more than one set and they were heavy and fast, as if they were running. Whatever or whoever it was, it was coming straight at them.

He took one more quick hit of his cigarette before he threw it down and the others followed his lead. He turned his head with a paranoid huff as one of the heavy steps got closer to their right.

He grabbed Ollie and Violet's hands, running in the opposite direction. He was pulling them so fast Violet tripped causing all of them to pause. The steps weren't letting up and Rory's heavy breath didn't either as he searched their surroundings. A screech lit up the sky and his eyes widened. That's what it was. How were there Screechers all the way out here? From what he knew, they usually didn't stay places where they couldn't hide from the sunlight. He couldn't out run them, especially with Ollie and Violet on his heels. They needed to hide.

He examined the trees around them, spotting one that looked easy enough to climb.

"Here."

He pulled them towards it, helping them get started up the tree until they could climb higher on their own. Another screech came from behind them and he didn't turn to look as he followed them up. They kept going until Rory deemed they were high enough to not be seen from below. Perfect timing as the Screechers ran underneath them in a heard, shaking the tree they sat in. He looked up to Violet and Ollie right above him, their eyes horrified as they hugged the tree tightly.

One of the Screechers stopped just below them, sniffing the air quizzically. Blood dropped from his jaw as if it'd just eaten something or someone.

Rory covered his nose and mouth as his breathing became more ridged, fear making its way up his spine. Were they intelligent enough to climb?

Other Screechers passed in an aggressive manner, bumping into the one below as it continued to scan the area for them. It could smell them, refusing to let up on it's hunt. It looked up and Rory's blood ran cold. For the first time in his life Rory was finally blessed with good luck as the rest of the hoard finally past and the screecher below gave up on its hunt with one last bloodcurdling screech.

"We have to warn the others."

Violet's voice dripped with concern as they started their way down the tree.

"There's no way they didn't hear those screeches, they're probably already packing the truck."

Rory tried to comfort her, hoping he was telling the truth.

"What about Cash and Tabb? They're gonna come looking for us."

"Jude knows I'm out here. He knows I'll protect you. He'll make sure to get them out of there."

Rory hoped what he was saying rang true. It had to be right? They weren't dumb enough to stay. Even with weapons a hoard was too much to fight, especially a hoard of Screechers. They got to the bottom of the tree, jumping the rest of the way down.

"Where did they come from?"

Ollie asked, wiping the bark from the back of his pants.

"I was wondering the same thing."

He turned in the direction the Screechers had come from, running that way with a slower pace so Ollie and Violet could keep up.