Chapter 2 - The Lovable Boy

I met Jaemin on the battlefield.

It was a brutal yet one-sided fight with the enemy. I happened to cross the aftermath of the battlefield when I came across a living corpse. Dead bodies littered the blood-stained field everywhere, flies were buzzing over the dead ones and vultures were already circling around the sky - waiting for the right moment to strike.

He was dying from a stab to the chest. He was dying very slowly, and I was surprised he was still alive. The amount of blood that surrounds him was enough to let me know how long he had been there. I assessed his parlour, the uniform he was wearing, and the make of the sword that protruded out of his chest.

This soldier holds the rank of a Major.

Did they lose?

I prodded his side with my boot, watching as his eyes flutter open. He is barely alive. Honey eyes squinting against the harsh sunlight. It took him a while to register me standing there looking down at him and a long more till he let out a sigh; realising that he was still alive.

"Do you want to live, human?" I asked.

"Who are you?" he managed to ask.

I squatted down, a smile embracing my lips. "Answer me, child," I said softly. "I do not have the patience to ask again. Do you want to live?"

He stared at me like I had asked a dumb question. He swallowed, the Adam's Apple bobbing. "If I get to live away from wars, then yes I would like to live," he answered, his voice was rough. He lets out a cough, dragging in a slow breath. "I want a normal … normal life."

I grinned. "Good answer."

…

Other than ballet, Jiminie also took up kendo which surprised everyone including myself. He said he wanted to learn the ways of the sword after watching countless episodes of an anime called One Piece. It was the only other thing he had been talking about endlessly, and he joined the club together with his friends in his school.

He said he wanted to be a swordsman.

He was adorable when he announced it one dinner. He was just starting middle school then. His poor mother could only agree to his whims while Jaemin and I chuckled softly at his whimsical decisions. He looked so happy and elated when he said that. I was imagining the little one performing a complicated move with that bulky gear on him.

Juggling with ballet classes, school and kendo, he didn't once complain about how exhausted he was. Not once he skipped a class or a lesson. He was a dedicated soul. He was passionate and I knew he was going to go very far in life. He was one busy kid and his grades didn't fall below average either. He must've got the brains from his mother.

He likes to show off his ballet and kendo skills whenever he learns a hard move. He comes over beaming happily and showed me the movements he had learned for hours – I would usually take my mobile out and record a video of him doing it while complimenting his skills and his relentless efforts in pursuing his dreams.

Jaemin would usually look at us fondly.

Jiminie stopped calling me noona as soon as he hit puberty. Eyeing Jaemin who was looking at me with a controlled laugh, Jiminie popped over to the apartment as soon as his classes ended. By the time he entered middle school, he already had a spare key to the apartment, and he was in his third year now. He was about to graduate in less than a month, and we were already staying too long in one place.

We ought to move soon.

Fifteen years old, Jiminie still carried his baby fats around his baby face despite his body growing into a man. He had already started applying to enter a high school solely for the arts. With his track records and portfolio, he ought to be able to get accepted. The downside of it is that the school was in the city and his mother was preparing to shift there with him.

The talk of moving has been delayed for a year.

We were supposed to move as well.

"Alice, can I talk to you for a bit?"

I was taken aback when he didn't call me "noona" but agreed to talk and he offered me his hand as we left the apartment to talk at the park. I guess he didn't want to have Jaemin there with us. Holding his hand was part of my life now, and I knew I was going to miss it. From that small soft hand to the rough large yet comforting hand, it had grown so much over the years.

We sat at our usual place – overlooking the beautiful lake. We watched the people around us – drinking in their presence. There were a lot of joggers around, and a few families with their kids at this time of day. The playground was full of kids playing and goofing off with laughter. The park was calming, and it was a place fit for a family.

"I'm gonna move to town in three months," Jiminie said. "I've received their acceptance letter today."

Ah, a few months huh. This is too quick.

"I'm gonna miss you, Alice," he continued. "But I'll promise I'll visit you during my summer breaks."

I felt a small smile growing on my lips as I turned to look at him – ruffling his hair. I will miss touching his hair too. How will I fare without him? I am indeed getting soft. "You do not have to worry about us, little one," I said softly. "We ought to have a congratulatory dinner to celebrate your achievement."

He frowned at my answer – apparently, he was expecting a different answer. I didn't say what he wanted to hear. I could not bring myself to say it. It was a futile effort. I cannot do that to him. He has become the light of my life, the centre of my galaxy and the reason I look forward to every time I rise to wake. It was the least I could do – allowing him to pursue his dream.

I had a secret I cannot tell him. Okay, I had two secrets I cannot tell him. However, this secret will protect him. In the future, I would join him again and hopefully, things would change. I dare not say what will happen in three years, but I hoped it would be for the better, so I took his hand in mine, rubbing it with my other hand.

"I am going to miss you a lot, Jiminie," I said quietly. "Both Jaemin and I do."

"C – can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"I – Is Jaemin your husband?"

I tilted my head at his question. Was he worried about me? Does he remember the promise that he made when he was six? I don't think so, he was very young. "No, he isn't," I said. "He's my bestfriend. The same as you're friends with that Kang Taehyun boy."

He nods and moved his hand to intertwine his fingers in mine. I watched as he tightened his grip. His fingers had grown longer too. My focus was entirely on him. I had never seen him worried before. "But … but will you be my friend after this?" he asks worryingly. "After high school and after I go to college? Will … will you still be there for me?"

"Do you want me to?" I asked quietly.

He nods eagerly.

Be still, my dead heart. Do not fear. Do not fret. "As you wish, little one."

He was happy with my answer.

.

On the day of his middle school graduation, Jaemin and I attended the ceremony on behalf of his mother who was busy working a double shift in the hospital. Despite not seeing his mother there, he was very happy to see us. I was worried about that. He bundled over happily, his black uniform flapping in the wind and I realised that the buttons on his blazer are all gone.

He stopped in front of me. He has grown taller again. He was almost the same height as me now. He was not the small child I knew any longer. I looked at him with a small smile as I ruffled his hair, congratulating him on his graduation. I handed a bouquet of flowers and a cute teddy bear over to him. Jiminie was smiling so widely that his eyes disappeared.

"Give me your hand, Alice," he said.

Curious, I followed what he said. Jiminie took my hand and placed a button on my palm. "This is for you, the second button," he said firmly. "I'll be right back! Wait for me!"

After that exclamation, he turned around and ran over to his friends who were waiting for him to take photos together. I stared down at the button and to Jaemin who was already looking at me with a smug look on his face. I understood the correlation between the button and giving it away on their graduation day. I understood the meaning behind the second button.

"Oh dear," I muttered as I pocketed the button quickly.

Jaemin chuckled lightly, ever amused by us. "You are in deep," he pointed out.

"Can you shut up, Jae?" I demanded in a whisper. "I am panicking right now."

"He's immune to our charms, relax," he said calmly. "You made sure."

"I know that," I answered. "It just means that it worked."

"Hey, don't worry too much," he whispered as he patted my arm. "He might not have this emotion after he completes high school."

I eyed the little one as he mingled with his friends – laughing and smiling so widely. The little human that I had grown fond of – making me glad that I had chosen to live. Indeed, I was worried about his feelings. I wonder if it was infatuation. I wonder if it was gratefulness. I wonder. It made me feel restless, and I was worried about it.

"He is leaving soon," I said quietly.

"What?"

"He is going to a High School in the City. He will be pursuing his dance there," I explained, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. "He will be gone for three years. I do not think he would forget this emotion. I am worried it would develop into something more."

"Don't," he said. "Don't discredit yourself."

It was making me cry.

I sucked in a shaky breath and covered my face immediately – tears were spilling. I was surprised at myself – embarrassed that I was crying in the middle of a crowded place. I realised that only one human was able to do this to me. Jaemin was sympathetic and he pulled me to a hug, patting my back as he tried to soothe my worries away.

"Alice?" I hear his voice. Oh shit, he's seen my crying. "Alice!"

I could hear him coming up. He was quicker in finding out when I was crying. This boy. I wiped my tears away hastily. "Alice, what happened?" he asked worriedly, his hands were trying to pull me towards him so he could see my face, but I was ducking away to not let him see my red eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing," I said, averting my eyes as he held my shoulders tightly.

"No, it's not!" he sounded urgent. "Come on, look at me please."

I cleared my throat, sniffed and looked at him. I couldn't deny him. I was sure my eyes were still red and Jiminie wiped away the stray tears on my cheeks – his doe eyes were filled with worry.

"Are you sad that I'm leaving you behind?" he asked.

Oh, he hit a sore spot. Jaemin chuckled behind me.

"No, I am not," I tried to argue.

"It's fine," he said as he pulled me to a quick hug. "I promise to call you every day!"

Ugh, this is embarrassing. "You don't have to," I grumbled.

"But I will!"

"Ugh Jiminie, stop!"

.