Chapter I - The Reaper

My mind has always been one

to talk in symbols;

weird, abstract scenes.

Faces I'm not sure I've ever seen.

Stories I've never heard.

Ideas I've never been exposed to.

Somewhere, buried deep

into the darker corners of my mind

were countless shapes,

curves, shadows-

all trying to tell a story.

Everything always shifted around,

I don't quite know how to put it to words-

somehow like gears inside a clock tower.

I always saw patterns,

always thought ahead.

Then came anxiety.

The panic attacks.

The overthinking.

The fear of everything around you.

The emotional outbursts.

The depression...

The bright analytical mind

burns itself down,

falls at its own hand, slowly.

Often times, the price to pay

for sanity is greater than

what intelligence can afford

All these brilliant people,

eaten up inside

by their own thoughts.

Depressive episodes.

Breakdowns.

Sleep paralysis.

Demons.

Nightmares.

Fears, rational and irrational,

taking up what's left of your mind.

All the countless times you lay there in bed

with only giving up on your mind,

all the times all you wanted was to quit,

to avoid everything-

because you understood none of it.

because none of it made sense.

because this shouldn't be happening to you.

Voices in your head

all contradicting,

all screaming something,

but nothing makes sense.

one day,

everything changes.

in the middle of a breakdown,

it hits you:

"why am I doing this?"

you start to notice the pattern.

you never took control of your mind.

you never used the power of your mind.

all you did was let thoughts flow.

All the demons,

all the fears

slowly fade back

into the dark moor

they once came from-

you start to recognize

what you feel,

it all comes together.

the voices in your head

finally start making sense,

you can breathe again;

...but the anxiety is still there.

you start to question it,

looking for answers in everything around you.

All these visions,

all these dreams,

all these daggers in your soul

that you can't remove...

sometimes the answer

is best kept a secret,

to find who is really willing

to dedicate a lifetime to it.

walk down that path,

it's a test of faith.

trust it,

and you will slowly come to understand.

along the way you'll find

the ones that help

you make sense

of your life.

The ones that have the explanations

to all questions unanswered.

the world is in your hands.

long as you choose

love over hate,

peace over chaos

patience over fear,

and kindness over ego-

the world will continue

to unravel itself

in your palms,

and leave gifts

in your heart.

many eyes watch over you...

many hearts wish you well.

many hands will hold you,

in tears, in joy, in pain...

long as you trust.

the reaper stands

at your door,

knocking.

your confusion growls.

"but i've been so good,

i've tried my best to live,

i've been kind to

all whom i've seen,

all this,

and why me?"

you fall to tears.

confused,

hazed;

lost in shades

of thought

and emotion..

when all things seem

to come to an end,

learn that it's only fear

testing your faith.

Brace yourself.

Let the reaper howl.

Let the reaper

test your sow,

Let the reaper take

all that you have.

Let yourself be pushed.

Let yourself fall to the ground.

Get back up.

Fight again and again.

There's no end to your strength.

No end to your passion.

No end to your flame.

No end to your existence.

Not today.

Push the reaper back

to the darkness where

he belongs

Take your dreams

to the people

that speak their language,

take your heart

and put it into theirs.

Trust in the work

of their hands.

and you shall find a way

through tears,

through fear,

long as you trust.