Damn that vile woman

Okay so I'm awake. I can see the sun shining through the window it seems to be early in the morning but could also be late in the evening. Because I don't really know wether the sun is rising or going down because I don't have a clock and I don't know where north is let alone if the sun even rises in the east it rises in the west.

Any way I have to find a way out of this prison they call a crib.

I don't want to be no offering to no god.

I mean I was already going to give him some milk and cookies. And he was the one that gave me this body. Does he regret giving me this body? He can't just kill me after giving me this body now it's my body you can't just take back gifts you've already given. Fuck you god don't expect to get any milk or cookies from me any more I'll eat and drink it all myself.

Ok back to planning my escape. First I have to get out of my prison/crib luckily my prison is on the ground and the bars aren't to high but I can't stand yet let alone climb over the bars.

But I had an idea what if I stacked all my cuddly toys my cushion and bad sheet and use that as a hill to get over the prison walls. Sometimes my genius even amazes my self.

It took a couple of tries to get out. But after dozens of seconds maybe even minutes of blood sweat and tears I finally got out.

Okay onto the next challenge.

I have to get out of the room. There were two ways to get out through the window through the wa- door I mean door. Now the window is pretty much out of the question there is no way I can reach it and even if I could then I would still have to open the window and I believe that 99% of windows are impossible for baby's to open and even then how am I supposed to get down from there it's like at least 1-1.2 meters from the ground and that's way to high for a baby it'd be dangerous if I jumped from that height if I land wrong it could be fatal. And seeing as one of the biggest parts of my body now is my head and I have a massive weak spot on the top of my head I'll take my chances with the door.

Now the door There's a couple of thing I could do.

No.1 I could try to build up to the door handle like I did when I went over my prison walls. Problems with this plan are 1. the fact that I don't have the stuff to build up to there it's way to high. 2. Even if I get up there if the door handle is not oiled well enough I could hang from it and it wouldn't even open. 3. Even if the previous things work out and I've pulled down the door handle I still have to open the door somehow while pulling down the door handle and the hill I built of stuff to get up to that point would be in the way. So that plan will probably not work

No.2 I could try catching the attention of that woman by crying or something and then slipping past her like some kind of stealth baby ninja. Still a couple of problems with this one. There is no place for me to hide there were 3 places I could think of under my covers but my covers lying on the middle of the floor would be a bit suspicious especially if she couldn't see me anywhere. I could also hide behind the door and try to slip past her when she came in but this would probably only work if this was a stealth game and she had no peripheral vision. My last option would be to cover my eyes with my hands and hide like this. Now this would be by far the best option I mean if I can't see her how can she see me? But she is able to use Magic or something like it so if she has some kind of spel to track people or she can sense when there are people close by or maybe even has something like infrared i'd be fucked.

I kept contemplating different escape strategies like digging my way out or breaking the door down but I quickly drew away those ideas for obvious reasons.

After a while of thinking I noticed something. I crawled closer to the door and yes it was as I thought the door was already open.

God damnit.

Let's just forget what happend the last 15 minutes.