End of

After my birthday, it was a vacation. Yes! I thought of going to the beaches and swim. But eventually, it didn't happen. I was stuck in my home for a month.

I was sleeping late and my mom was in school. Her vacation didn't start on the same day and also my sister's vacation didn't start on the same day. So I had to spend my vacation alone sparing the last two days.

I got up at 11 am. I had cereal, that's the easiest thing to make or not to eat breakfast.

No one was at home. I felt terribly alone. But well I had this whole list of anime to watch. So I started watching while eating breakfast.

My phone buzzed up after a while.

Miles: Hey babe!

Me: Hey Miles!

To be honest. I'm not full with the babe, the baby calling thingie. I don't like it just. I bear it.

Miles: So I was thinking the vacation had started. How are we gonna meet?

That was one less of a problem for me, not meeting him. Sometimes I wonder why don't I breakup? I don't know either.

Me: Well I don't know. You say.

Miles: I have some plans.

I felt confused. Plans? What does the plan mean?? Good plans? Bad? His plans are the worse.

Me: What?

Thank god I was texting, if I was talking I would've shown some sort of emotion through my voice and he'd know I'm not up for it.

Miles: I was thinking if I could come to your house?

I was shocked. No, oh hell no. Like never ever in my whole life.

Me: What? How? If my mom finds out I'm doomed!

I lied, my mom would say things but well I won't die I guess.

Miles: Don't worry about that babe!

I knew something was wrong. But I wanted not to meet. Some excuse. My mind just stops at a worse time. I hate it, I hate my mind.

Me: No, it's gonna be a problem Miles. What if my mom gets to know?

Miles: Don't worry I'll handle this.

Me: What'll you handle Miles?

And he went offline.

I was shocked. My mind was all around the place. I was trembling. What if he tries to have sex with me? I'm not ready.

I put the bowl on the table and sat down on my bed. I don't like it, I don't like it.

Then I also took a shower. My mind going over all the things that could happen. I took my phone but placed it back down because now every time I shower, I never take my phone with me. I know what I did and I didn't want to do it again.

It's 12:27. I was thinking I should call my mother? It's so wrong. I was scared because he's like this, sexually attracted to people.

After some time I heard a knock in my door. I knew it was him. I opened the door.  He entered into the house and wrapped me in his arms.

I didn't wanna hug him but I did. I hugged him back.

Then he came to my room. My room was small. And at one corner I had a bookshelf and I had some books and some posters. I also had some lyrics from my favourite songs written there.

"Your room is pretty like you." He started with a compliment that I didn't like.

"Really? Thank you I guess." I tried not to show I'm scared. No.

He was coming closer to me. I saw him approach. He came closer and whispered in my ears.

"You broke my heart some days ago. Now you're gonna fix it." I just stood there. I was gonna cry.

"How?" I asked stabbing my thumbnail into my skin.

"Kiss me. It's the glue to fix my heart." I knew he'd say it. Ahh, I wanna break up with him here and now.

I thought once he is out of my house, we're done.

I looked at him. He gave me a smirk. I looked at him. I just looked at his face and stood there.

It's harder than I even believe. I can't let myself fall for him so bad that I can't even live without him. It's bad.

But he came closer to me, even more, closer and he started to kiss. He put his one hand behind my back and other in my hair brushing it the way he likes. Well making it messy.

He pulled me closer by my back. He then started kissing me wildly. Like we are hooking up.

Stop, my mind said but I couldn't. Then his hand slowly lowered down from my back. I hesitated. Should I tell him to stop doing that? I couldn't make my mind to think straight. He then put his another hand on my neck. Then he slowed down.

I thought he was going to stop. But then he started to kiss my neck. I was feeling so uncomfortable. But what to tell him? I don't know.

"Miles stop, let's do something else," I mumbled.

"Hmm, baby I'm just too high to stop."

After that, he took his hand from my back and stopped kissing. I thought. Thank goodness.

But then in a moment, he pushed me over to my bed. I was again shaking.

He started kissing, all over again. Then he smiled kissing me. I was trembling. I couldn't speak. But I tried.

"Miles stop, please!" I begged but he didn't care.

He went down and tried to pull my pants down. I was pushing him, hard but I couldn't. He grabbed both hands and pinned it on the bed with his one hand and pulled down my pants with others.

I started crying and begging not to do anything. He didn't listen to me, once. He did what he wanted to.

He then gets off me. I tried to put my pants back on quickly but he unzipped his pant and he was there straight up naked in front of me.

I was shocked to my core. I couldn't move. This, this can't be happening.

I tried to pull myself back up and sit but he immediately pushed me down. He was too high to see anything. He flipped me. I was fighting, not to let him do what he wanted.

He put his hand on my hips and I could feel his finger inside me. I was screaming. How does me, crying turns him on? I have no clue.

I tried my best until my body fell apart. My fist turned loose. I just said, "Why?"

You had your fair share of fun. You turned me back and looked at me. I was messy but you smiled at me.

I said, "Leave Miles." I didn't have the energy to shout.

"What?" What is all you gonna say after this?

"Get the fuck out of here."

He was mad, I know. He left. The door was open and I was in my room, naked on the bed.

I got up after a few minutes or so. Closed the door. And sat on my bed. My body. It feels numb, it feels like if I cut my hand open, I wouldn't feel anything.

That's the first thing that ran in my mind. I jumped out of the bed and took the pieces out. I pushed it inside my skin as hard as I could, it cut my skin but not enough. One after another, I kept on doing until I felt pain again.

I thought, maybe if I overdose I'd die. I'd die before anyone knows what happened. I took out all the medicine I had in the house and gulped them all.

My head started spinning. I laid down on my bed. My head was spinning so bad and I felt like throwing up. Because of overdosing or because of what he did? I don't know.

I could feel myself passing out, I don't know where. But the last thing I remembered hearing was the click of the door.