Identity

"I appreciate your honesty. You telling me the truth has shown me that you are indeed a trustworthy person. Someone earnest and forthright. I'm now confident that I can trust my son Spencer to you." The King said, smiling serenely.

"Thank you for your kind words, Your Majesty." Carina responded, smiling back, though on the inside she was shocked that it had been that easy.

All she had to do was talk about her tragic backstory and the King immediately accepted her as a good person? It worried her a little how easy going he seemed to be, but in the end it worked to her benefit, so she wouldn't point this out to him.

They exchanged a few more words, empty pleasantries mostly, before the King finally allowed Carina to leave.

She sighed in relief as she walked down the hallway to meet Spencer.

He didn't ask any questions upon spotting her, seemingly sensing that Carina didn't really wish to speak about what had just transpired, and silently lead her to the sitting room.

Once Carina was seated beside Spencer and had consumed a few of the treats that had been laid out on the table in front of them, she felt the exhaustion from earlier in the day return with full force, making her struggle to stifle a yawn as she sipped from her tea cup.

"Are you tired?" Spencer asked, concerned.

Carina nodded as she set her cup down gently. "I barely got any sleep last night. I was too busy worrying about today. I had no idea it would turn out like this..."

"I'm surprised too. I never would've imagined that my father would want a personal audience with you."

Carina could feel her eyes watering just thinking about the conversation they had, and her own body's reaction to the memory just made her even more confused and frustrated.

Spencer seemed to be able to tell that she was getting emotional, and looked even more worried. "Did my father say something to upset you?"

Carina shook her head, though her teary eyes said the opposite. "No, we really just had a very normal conversation. I have no idea why I'm reacting this way. I promise I'm not usually someone who cries so easily, sometimes it just feels like..."

Like she was an entirely different person.

Carina could never say that out loud though.

But just because she could never say it, didn't mean she didn't think about it every second she could, the way her body and mind would react in ways that felt kind of strange to her, kind of unfamiliar. The way sometimes she'd say things she didn't want to say. The way sometimes it felt like her own body was out of her control.

When she stopped to really consider what was happening, the only conclusion she could draw was that she wasn't fully herself, and she was never fully herself even when she had first woken up in this body. The Carina of before was still here, and instead of her having fully replaced that Carina, it was more like she merged with her, into an entirely new person.

The more she was in this body the more she realised how true that statement was. She wasn't just the new Carina, but she wasn't fully the old Carina either. She knew the more she rejected that idea the more it would feel as if her body was out of her control and her mind was working against her, but it was hard to come to terms with that idea, it was hard to fully let go of her past life's self. She knew that old life was no longer hers anymore, but it hurt to think about moving on. She worried that if she let go, she would forget, and eventually her past life, her past family, her past self, they would all just fade away into nothing.

So she had held on, desperately, and refused to acknowledge that who she was before wasn't really who she was anymore.

"Carina..." Spencer spoke, his tone hushed, as if worried that if he spoke too loud he'd scare her. "What's wrong?"

Carina's chest ached, like it did whenever she thought of her life from before, and who she was from before, and she was just so, so tired.

Instead of replying, she just shut her eyes, attempting to push her troubling thoughts away.

Spencer waited for a few moments, but when she still didn't respond, he opened his mouth to speak again.

Before he could get a word out, however, Carina's head suddenly fell against his shoulder.

Spencer gazed down at Carina's face in surprise, only to find that she had fallen asleep.

At their sudden close proximity, Spencer carefully looked at Carina's face, so close to his own. His eyes raked over her closed ones, the point of her nose, the corner of her lips. He felt inexplicably drawn to her, even when she was asleep, and wondered what the warmth blossoming behind his chest meant.