What now (1)

After seeing the charred leg, I started thinking. 'How did the wolf move so fast? What was that invisible spike which pierced Jack? Wait, why am thinking about things like this? I just saw a person who got brutally killed. Shouldn't I feel compassion? Shouldn't I be sad? Shouldn't I be crying?'

I forced all my thoughts away and looked for Sarah. She didn't say anything the entire time. After a bit of searching I found her by the food storage. She is curled up like a ball and completely silent. She should have seen the wolf because she stood next to a window when everything happened.

"D-did Jack d-di-d-die?" She asked in a scared voice. "Yes." I state bluntly.

"Okay. Please leave I want to be alone." She said quietly. After thinking about approaching her to calm her down I stopped. At the moment I feel just empty inside and need to digest the situation a bit.

When they trained me for this mission my teacher taught me a way to calm down. 'Wait, my teachers last word before the mission started were " I am sorry.". My teacher knew this all along.'

In this moment I felt as if something in me broke and a flame ignited inside me. A flame which will slowly consume everything. I quickly suppressed these emotions and did what my teacher taught me. Without me knowing from that day on my eyes only got colder and colder.

'What did my teacher say? Oh, right. First: Lie down on your back in a bed. Second: Make sure to be completely stretched out and be comfortable. Third: Empty your mind and focus only on your breathing. At last: Try to only feel. Feel the air around you. Focus solely on what your body feels.'

While remembering what my teacher said I found a bed and laid on my back in it. I made sure to be completely stretched out but still be comfortable. I then focused only on my breathing. How the air comes in trough my nose and how it leaves. I continued doing this because I could follow the air deeper in my body the more I did it. When I could feel the air in my lungs. I started focusing on my skin. I could feel the slight pressure the clothing put on my skin with its weight. I felt the air around me but after an unknown time I felt an increasing pressure. It wasn't an overbearing pressure.

It felt like as if the wind wanted to go trough my body but met resistance. I was the resistance so I tried to guide the pressure around me. I somehow felt a slight connection with it as if it was an old friend, so I started to accept the pressure and guide it towards me. All of the sudden it felt like the wind and the pressure seeped into my body. I felt it's presence within me. I felt it filling my body as it spread trough out my body like a gentle breeze spreading over a meadow.

The feeling of the wind seeping into me was relaxing and I slowly feel into a deep sleep.