Self-love

I was the one who always cared, that friend who listens, a person you could count on to and a girl fearless to love and give all my heart out.

And I guess, I have given so much of myself to other people, trying to make them whole and helping them be better. I hadn't realized I was slowly losing myself.

It was too late when I knew, I was empty.

I gave away my pieces. Then one day, I woke up and put a hand over my chest. I tried to feel, tried to hurt and tried to live. There was nothing. All I had was a blank space, a black hole slowly eating me alive that every day I became a little bit more a mechanical robot. Doing things because I need to do it, waking up because I can't stay asleep, walking because I need to move forward and smiling because I have no tears to cry either.

Maybe, I had cared too much. I gave love to the wrong people too much. Listened to the world's voice too much. Pretended that I was strong too much. Now, I suddenly shut down as if I had enough of life I wanted to end it.

Or maybe, this is the first long step to healing and finding my broken parts again. The stage where you're just tired of giving a f*ck on anything and all you do is be alone.

I think it's time to feel myself, like getting to know an old friend you hadn't been connected to for a long time. Think things over. Focus on me and me only. Giving attention to my own way to happiness and slowly finding my breaths and heartbeats back.