The poem of 16

"Claire, what is happening?"

"Is he okay?"

"Gush, I don't know what to do."

"Claire, please let me in"

My mind is full of thoughts. I don't know what to say nor do. I kept asking Claire what is happening even though I can see it clearly. I begged her to let me in but she didn't let me. I kept crying over and over again that night. It's like half of me is dying. The clock is ticking but still Claire is in that room for like 30 minutes. I don't want to sleep because maybe just maybe when I wake up he's gone. So my feet brought me to his messy room. All the books are scattered everywhere. The papers are sticking on the wall and the pens inks are all over his bed. I decided to fix that mess while waiting for some news about him from Claire. I arrange the books on his table, pick up all the papers on the wall and floor. I also requested some new bed sheets for him. As I'm on my way putting the last book on his desk I saw a book entitled "ANFS" with a note written on it "On going story of my life" Out of curiosity I opened it. It is a draft of the book I requested last time. I really wanted to know what's inside of it. He said he didn't want to share his life with others and I'm just wondering why we wrote this draft. Liam is a great writer of fictional stories but I never read true to life stories from him. He believes that happiness only exists in fictional stories and happy endings only exist in love stories he made. Liam is a realistic person he never believes in imagination nor dreams. I remember one time I asked him "Liam, what is your dream?" and he replied "I don't have any dreams. Leah, I'm stuck in this damn hospital for years and now you're asking me what is my dream? Do you think that a patient like me who's going to die anytime soon will have a dream? Leah, please be realistic." and by that time I never asked him about life anymore.

As I opened the book I saw a little note on the first page saying:

"To the person reading this thank you for being such a wonderful human being. I hope in our next life you will have the healthiest lungs in the world. You deserve all the best in the world. Thank you for always reminding me about happiness. I promise that I will fight this battle until the day I find happiness in this world."

-Happily breathing borrowed air,

Liam

I don't know if I will continue reading this book because by the time I saw the note my tears started to fall. I never imagined that Liam would see me as a good human being. He always pushes me away like I'm just a piece of trash for him. He never told me that he's thankful to have me. As I'm scanning the pages of the book I saw a lots of illustrations and words (of course) the draft contains 10 chapters and the titles of each chapter is somehow catchy but I wonder how these titles are made. Like the title of chapter one.

*Reading*

"Chapter One: The poems of 16"

When I was a kid I used to live with my grandparents. They are the ones who raised me.They taught me so many things in life. But as I grow every year my mind starts to wonder so many things in life. I remember that time when I was 6 or 7 years old I always wondered how stories and lyrics are made. I used to ask my grandfather how authors and composers make such a great story and songs. I will never forget what he said to me that time. When he was a kid like me he used to write poems. Life hits him hard and no one will ever understand how he feels and there comes a time that he also does not understand how he truly feels so, he turns it into a poem. He said that stories, poems and songs are made when a person doesn't understand the message of the heart. He always reminds me that when you can't understand everything in my mind it's better to turn it into poems or stories. If you can't explain how everything goes in your life it's better to just make it more sensible. Make a story out of it and let that story tell how you truly feel. As time went by my grandfather died I never had a chance to say how he changed my perspective in life since I was a kid and also that time my grades started to fall. I cannot forget how depressed I am when I got low grades in music. I don't know what to do at that time. So, I decided to write a poem. I try to put in some words that will match how I truly feel. That is the first time I wrote a poem while crying. I don't know how I did that or how I constructed the poem. All I know is that poem comforts me when no one else wants to. As time went by I started to write a lot of poems and little by little I also started to write novels. After my grandfather died everything was out of place. I'm studying and currently in my third year. Everything seems to be fine 2 or 3 years ago but then everything breaks when the path I chose turns to be the path that will ruin everything. I enjoyed learning new stuff and I'm sure every student enjoyed their student life. But it will be more enjoyable when you have friends. I don't have one. I didn't even feel I belonged to anyone. All I have is myself and my untold poems. They seem to be my friends when I need someone to talk to. I do everything alone. It's sad to be alone but that's how life is, you never know who will stay with you at the end. Maybe you're lucky enough when someone stays even in your hardest times but if there's none you must learn to love yourself. "

Liam's childhood days aren't the same as other people's childhood days. He learned so many things in life when he's still young. As I read the first chapter of his life I started to understand every single thing of his perspective. Little by little I understand his realistic side when it comes to life. It's hard to survive life alone. It's hard to be the only one that knows how you feel. As the time continues to pass I still don't know how everything goes. Claire hasn't come back yet since she went to the ICU so I decided to read more chapters.