08.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the soreness between my legs. That was until the pounding on the door registered to me. I had only wrapped the sheets around myself when the door swung open and my mother stepped in closing the door behind her.

I wondered if my mother had ever seen me naked. Most likely not.

She stood in the amber gown she'd worn to the party taking in the scene before. After taking in the torn gown and undergarments lying on the floor and the blood stained sheets wrapped around my body, she looked at me with utter horror and said, "What have you done?"

Me. What I had done. She didn't ask what happened. She'd automatically decided that I had done something.

"Clear this up and make sure you pack all your things we'll leave early tomorrow." Her face assumed its normal coolness and I knew tomorrow would be a different story entirely. With that, she left the room closing the door behind her.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding and with the exhalation came the realization that my innocence had been taken without my consent. I'd just been raped- by my fiancé. I could feel the anger, the sadness and the betrayal. I expected to start crying any second but after waiting for sometime, the tears didn't come and I knew I wasn't going to cry.

I got up from the bed and began to clear the horrible scene. I tried to rid my mind of all thoughts as I picked the torn strips of clothing and the sheets and stuffed them into a bag I would take with me tomorrow before going to take care of myself.

✴️✴️✴️✴️✴️

The next morning, my mother only informed King Alan of our departure before we set off at sunrise. There was silence throughout the journey. The kind of silence that made me fidgety. It was heavier, worse than the silence whenever Ketki was around. Not even looking out the window could calm the negativity in me. I wished I could cry and let it all out.

I'd always thought that if I were to leave the palace, I'd feel sad to return. However, I'd never been more grateful to see the palace which I'd mostly considered a prison. I'd rather be anywhere than in this suffocating space.

As soon as the coach halted, I got out taking my luggage with me. The staff would probably be surprised since I never did anything myself. My priority was to dispose of all those clothing items. I didn't feel comfortable leaving it with other garage items. There was something scary in leaving your blood where anyone could access it. I shivered at the thought.

Burning it seemed like the best thing to do so I requested a matchbox from Reagan before going to the back of the palace. While the front of the palace was where the garden was, the back was more like a farm. An animal farm. It was nothing like the farms other farmers had. My mother would never reduce herself to such.

It was more like an animal home. With the stables at one side, and a field for animals like squirrels, raccoons and stray cats. This was the only place where my mother actually looked human and not the ice statue she embodied. This was also where I would burn the contents of my suitcase.

It took three matchsticks and a mild burn but eventually , the suitcase caught fire and began to burn. Smoke rose up in the air as the more of the contents burned.

"Althea!" My mother put a hand on my shoulder turning me around to face her. She looked furious. "What are you doing? Here of all places?" My mother cared about this place. She cared for this place and the animals that lived here so much that she trusted no one but herself enough to take care of it. Perhaps that was why I chose to destroy this place. I had probably done it just to spite her, to hurt her. And it looked like it was working.

"First, you go against my decision in Aldera. Then, you fool around with whoever at your engagement party and now, you do this! You hurt nature and you wonder why you're never taken seriously." She said hotly.

"I didn't fool around. I was raped- by the man you're practically forcing me to marry. You walked in on a scene and chose to assume the worst. You didn't even ask what happened. You asked what I did. Like I know how to do anything. Like you let me do anything." I said back. I was risking a slap but I didn't care. Hurt and anger controlled me.

She scoffed. "You were raped? By Otis? I'm supposed to believe that? I made him your husband for a reason. He's my successor because I trust him. People saw you take a man to your room, Althea. You apparently couldn't keep your hands off each other." She continued before I could interrupt her. "If you actually were raped, then it's your fault. You act weak all the time and then bring a man to your room. What did you expect?"

"How can you say that?" She trusted Otis more than she trusted me. She didn't believe that I'd been raped. She'd said that it was my fault that I'd been taken advantage of. Because I was weak. My headache which had receded sometime ago was back with a vengeance.

The ground began to rumble beneath us and the ground split beneath my mother. She fell into the crack with a scream. She however managed to hold herself with her arms or she would've slipped completely through.

"Why keep me around if I mean nothing to you? Why didn't you just abort me? Why didn't you kill me at some point? Why?!" I was shaking as I screamed . With all the noise, I wondered why no one came to see what was wrong.

"Stop." My mother croaked. She seemed to struggle against a force pulling her down. I didn't want to stop, though. The negative energy that'd been storing up in me was finding an outlet. Somehow, I was causing this. I was hurting this woman who'd hurt me. I could feel a smile grow on my face.

Suddenly, the ground began to rumble violently. I was trembling and I couldn't stop it. It felt like my brain was pulsing- like my body was on fire. I fell to my knees when I could stand no longer and for the second time in twenty-four hours, I fainted. 

***********

It was cold and dark when I woke up. I glanced around and from what I saw, I guessed I was in the palace dungeons. It fit the description I'd heard. There was no bed. The floor was bare stone. There were no windows around. I would die of lack of oxygen soon.

There was a shuffling of feet outside my cell. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out a slipper-clad foot on the right side of my cell. A guard was situated outside my cell.

"When do you think she's going to wake up?" came a male voice.

"I don't know. It's been three days." another one replied.

"Why do you think the Queen-?" The sound of a heavy metal door being swung open filled the room. Light and fresh air flooded the corridor as whoever opened it stood there.

"Is she awake yet?" Ketki's voice came. "It's been three days already. The Queen is getting agitated."

It was more than I'd ever heard her say at once.

"She's been moving, though. And whispering too."

"You both should go and see the Queen." She said and her footsteps echoed as she left. Soon, the door was closed again as the two men left with her. I was once again plunged into darkness.

When I could take the cold of the floor no more, I sat up resting my arms on my knees. I felt dirty. It was a surprise my mother hadn't ordered someone to tidy me up. I was looking around the empty room when I spotted the cloaked figure from my birthday. They seemed to have been waiting for me to notice them because they stepped forward.

They moved silently across the room. Their movements graceful. I couldn't tell if the person was male or female. At my birthday, I would've sworn it was a man but now, I wasn't so sure anymore.

By now, they were in front of me. I should've been scared as the figure brought a gloved hand to my forehead. But I wasn't. There was a calming energy around it. This person wouldn't hurt me. And if they did, there was no harm. I would not be missed. The world had no use for me.