No Small Matter

I thought he picked up on the hint that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned on his shoulder. We stayed like that while talking about anything and everything. Before I knew it, the sun had risen. I checked my phone and I didn't see any messages from my family. That's fine. Showed how much they really cared about me. I looked around and saw all the shops opening. I didn't want to go home yet but, surely, they'll talk if I don't. Looking up to Alexi, I suddenly got an idea.

"Alexi, I'm going to give you two options and whatever you choose is how I will spend my day."

"Okay, I'm in."

"Yes or no?"

"What?"

"Yes or no?"

"You're not going to even give me an idea of what the two choices are."

"Nope. It's a surprise that you're just going to have to leave up to fate. So yes or no?"

"... Yes. No. No yes."

I couldn't help but laugh at his indecisiveness.

"Well, which one is it? Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Final answer?"

"Yes, final answer."

"Okay. I get up and brush the sand off of me."

"So, what did I pick?"

"We, Alexi, are going on an adventure."

"I'll go with you on one condition."

"What is that?"

"I can't go on an adventure with a girl, I don't even know the name of."

That's right, I haven't even told him my name.

"I'm Astra."

"Like from the stars?"

"Exactly."

I remember that I haven't texted Will and snap out of my daydream. I put the necklace away gently, and text Will. Immediately my phone starts to ring."

"Hello."

"Good morning, Astra."

"I disagree. How can I help you during this ungodly hour, Will?"

"Well, something terrible happened last night."

"What happened?"

"There was a theft at my house last night."

"Oh my goodness are you okay? How are the dogs?"

"We're fine. The problem is actually really embarrassing. You see all they took was my underwear and now I have none to wear."

Oh no. I have a feeling I know what he's going to do.

"I'd go buy them myself, but I can't be spotted. Would you mind going to pick up some for me?"

"No, Will. That won't be a problem at all."

"Thank you, Astra. I knew I could count on you. Don't bother making breakfast. We can just pick something after you bring my underwear over."

"Of course. I will see you as soon as possible."

I hate this man. He always manages to one up me. Every single time I think I've finally won, he already has a counter attack ready to go. I go to the store and try to find the most embarrassing underwear I can possibly find. I'm hoping for those classic white boxers with red hearts on them. Searching every single rack down to the back, I find nothing embarrassing. Drat. I just grab a pack of boxer briefs like the ones he wears. I double check to make sure to grab the right size. I can only imagine what the cashier would think if I walk up with a pack of mens underwear this early in the morning. I try to think my way out of it. Seeing something that just might work, I backtrack to the aisle with the cards and pick out a ridiculous birthday card and go to check out. Neither of us speak to each other thank goodness. I don't know what I would do if they asked questions. I sulk my way back to the car and throw the underwear in before I plop into the car. I can't believe I had to do that, and the worst part is that I practically set myself up for that.

Looking at the clock, I see that I have some extra time on my hands. I plug my phone into the aux and play God's Menu. I pick up a latte for myself and a couple cups of whipped cream for Donner and Blitzen. After a second thought, I get a black dark roast for Will. I'm mad at him, but I don't want to hear anything about why I didn't get him anything. Even so he doesn't deserve anything special so black coffee it is. I get to the house and knock on the door.

"Come in."

That's strange. If he thinks someone broke in last night, why would he leave the door open for me. It should be locked and he should have asked who I am. Walking in, Donner and Blitzen slide around the corner and I forget all about Will. Dropping to my knees I give them both pets for a few minutes, and then give them the cups of whipped cream.

"You spoil them too much."

"You don't spoil them enough."

"They get plenty."

"Then I'm sure you won't mind if they get a little bit more."

"Remember why you're here."

"Oh yes. Right."

I pull out the underwear and hand it to him while looking anywhere else but at him. I can't look him in the eye. This is too embarrassing.

"Here."

"Thanks. How did you know I wear boxer briefs?"

"You told me."

"No, I didn't."

"Oh, really?"

"Really."

"Must have been a lucky guess."

"And they're the exact size I wear. How did you know that?"

"Now I know for a fact that you told me that."

"Did I really?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it."

"And I'm sure I didn't."

"Huh. How crazy is that. It must have been a lucky guess."

"Is that so?"

"It is. What are the odds?"

"Pretty slim."

I giggle nervously and then he speaks again.

"Thanks for bringing these. Now that you're here I'm going to call the police."

"The, the police? Over such a small matter?"

"Small matter? Whoever stole my underwear committed breaking and entering along with theft. This is no small matter. What if they are a stalker? I can't let them get away with this. Whoever did this is clearly a pervert and they need to be taught a lesson."

Uh oh.