Chapter 8: L O S T

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"When all else is lost, the future still remains"

- Christian Nestell Bovee-

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After a year

I started working as a customer service representative at F-Mobile as soon as I turned 18 years old to support my families financial needs and payoff our debts when my grandmother was hospitalized.

We started renting as well since our house was sold to take care of our hospital bills.

Now I don't know what to do next. I'm typically lost after all that happened to my life forgetting all the dreams and setting myself aside prioritizing my family.

There's no turning back anymore all I have left is just to move forward waking up day by day and go to work, do overtime, wait for the payyout and pay our debt. It's like a never ending cycle...

This is the right thing for me to do and that's what I have to believe. Even though I am sick and tired of waking up everyday achieving nothing. The living should continue to live.

"Centris" the Taxi driver stopped in front of the building itself "Here" I gave him the 500 peso bill for the fate and he gave me the change "Thank you!" I said to the driver as I goes out of the Taxi.

This is it!

You can do it!

It's the first day of training today for my very first job after I entered the legal age here in the Philippines.

As I enter the building, I was amazed as soon as I entered the building with 24 floors and has six elevators functioning in this humongous building.

"11th floor" that's what I read on my trainee manual they had given me after I my contract signing.

I'm nervous and excited at the same time and I'm thinking of what will I buy my mom and siblings once I got my first pay because I really wanted to treat them and as what I watched on the Korean drama "The Producer" you should spend your very first payout to treat your family.

As I reached the 11th floor there is a guard sitting behind the information desk "Training room 11b po?" I showed the guard the pass that was given to me.

"You just need to go straight then turn left and turn right on another corner that has the F-Mobile sign and it's going to be the training room on with the red door." said the guard and so I followed his direction and I remember that the red door is always dangerous.

"Thank you!" I replied then I went straight to where the guard instructed me to go to and I saw four guys sitting on the bench "Wave 148b?" asked by the guy wearing glasses and having this mohawk style hairstyle "Yes, 148b" then I smiled and waved at them.

"Have a sit!" then the guy with the chinito eyes and a pale skin offered his seat "Thank you!" I sat and relax while the trainer is not here yet.

"Are you a newbie or a call center hopper?" the chubby guy sitting opposite of me asked "Yes, It's my very first job" I answered still smiling at them

An hour has passed and the other folks arrived already then we we're called by the trainer to come inside the training room.

"Good morning wave 148B, welcome to your Day 1 of communication skills training. I am Karen Ann Regalado and I'm going to be your trainer for the whole 3 weeks of training!" she looks so strict and scary to the point that I am avoiding her gaze.

"I have been on this company for 6 years now and I became a trainer on my 3rd year of stay. I graduated BSBA major in Human Resource at UST now..." she continued then pointed at my seatmate on the right side.

"Introduce yourself counterclockwise you first!" So meaning I am the last person to introduce myself.

I suddenly felt little about myself because all of them introducing themselves are all graduates of  their bachelor's degree.

"Last one please introduce yourself" Ms. Karen pointed at me, so I stand up and take a deep breath to calm myself down before introducing myself.

They are all staring at me intently literally waiting that eyes are on me so I inhaled then exhaled letting out a deep sigh.

"Hi! My name is Kirk Cosby 18 years old." I started to introduce myself "Yeah, so I'm an undergraduate of BS in Information Technology at Polytechnic University of the Philippines and this is my first official job" I smiled then tried to sit down when Ms. Karen asked me a question.

"First official job? Did you had any part time jobs before?" she asked as she walk near me.

"Ah, yes I once worked as a jeepney conductor when I was in high school to 1st year college then on my 2nd year I worked as a part-time encoder at Philcoa" she nodded and said "Okay, welcome to F-mobile!" then she went back to the front.

I hope I am making the right decision for myself and my family. "Kirk! Wanna join us?" Try asked he is one of my team mates who looked like an Arabian.

"Where?" I asked "My unit, just a little celebration!" added Liano the guy with the small eyes "Join us! You should come with us since it's our day-off tomorrow!" Joyce added trying to convince me.

"O-okay! I'll go with you guys!" I can try mingling with my friends more. I think it's not that bad.

After shift we went to Liano's pad around Timog and they bought a 10 bottles of brandy and 2 cases of beer.

"Kirk, it's your turn now!" they gave me the shot glass "I don't drink, I'm so sorry guys!" I declined at first "How old are you?" asked Julian "I-I'm 18 years old now" I answered them.

"You should drink now! Here try it and relieve some stress!" I can't say no anymore and take the shot "Yeah! Cheers for Kirk!" they all rejoice and clink their glasses after I finished the whole shot in one go.

At first I felt a something spicy or hot from my throat to my stomach but as I took 3 to 4 more shots it's getting sweeter until they all fell asleep and me finishing the last bottle. Alone.

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After three months I resigned because I got sick where I was just staying on my bed having high fever and allergy wounds on my legs which really hurt.

I saw how stressed my mom is when I am not working since she is the only one who is providing our needs.

That day when I was already recovered I immediately look for a job.

"I only have 100 peso bill on my wallet" and here I am walking from Commonwealth Market to Techno Hub to apply for a job.

"Are you applying for a job?" A headhunter approached me while I was walking "Y-yes" I answered her.

"Come with me we have an offer for even a high school graduate. The company is called Concentrate have you heard of it?" she asked "Yes, I'm familiar with the company" I answered "What is your educational background?" she asked me again.

"Second year college undergraduate" I answered again. I'm actually losing patience if the person has a lot of questions but since I need this job I'll fake it until I make it.

After a series of interviews, online assessments and forms to fill up. I am one of the few agents waiting for the final result.

I checked my phone which only have 6 percent left on my battery life and it's already been 11:08 in the evening and I'm still waiting here.

"Kirk Cosby?" I heard my name being called "Yes?" I walked immediately towards the HR interviewer.

"You will be back for your job offer tomorrow morning and if you have some of the requirements you can also submit it tomorrow" said the interviewer.

"Thank you!" I thanked them since I was able to make it and finally I have a new job. I surrendered the visitors pass and redeemed my Philhealth ID.

I went out of the building to see that it is already dark outside. I sighed after thinking that I'll walk from here to Litex so I can ride a Jeepney to Montalban and go home.

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I already experience many ups and downs in my life. I never see myself working as a call center agent before because I have a target dream before, I just gave them up because of my family.

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"Hi guys! Welcome to Fish Network! My name is Kirk Cosby you can call me Kei and I've been with the company for almost three years now and my quote for you today is laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason you need medicine thank you!" they all clapped after my introduction.

"And we also prepared something for you guys and I KNOW that you also prepared something for your buddies right?" This is my current job as a Buddy at Fish Network.

I'm doing this job for a total of 5 years now and I've been to three different companies already.

This is not my dream job but this is the job who can support my family's needs.

A butterfly who's lost on it's way found out he bacame a moth and was drawn to a fire that is slowly eating him up.

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"Some people get lost for so long they forget what it was like to be themselves"

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