CHAPTER 3

2 YEARS LATER

Samantha's POV :

I look out the window and see just how much gloomy the weather is today.

The weather reminds me of myself. The clouds are dark like my life. The rain drops are like my tears and the lightning strikes as if its venting its anger just like how I vent my anger by cutting myself.

Its scary. It's so scary to know that the world is so cruel at the mere age of 12. I am supposed to be enjoying my life and playing with my friends but look where I am....sitting in my room, staring out the window and wondering how my life turned this way. But I guess that's how my life always was.

At the mere age of 12, I cut myself after I saw the cruelty of this world. At the mere age of 12, I cutted myself cause I knew that no one actually cared. At the mere age of 12, I cutted myself cause I knew that I am just a waste of space. And at the mere age of 12, I wanna kill myself.

Its funny how much opposite Sammy and me are. He is living the perfect life, has friends, has people who love him. And here I am, a failure, a waste of space.

Why am I even alive? Its a question I have been asking myself very much nowadays.

More like a question that I have been wondering for my entire life.

I am staring at the ceiling for what seems like eternity. It's as if it's the most interesting and mysterious thing in the world.

I chuckle quietly at my silliness.

After awhile, I get up and head downstairs. I lock the main house and go back to my room.

I head towards my study table and open the drawer. I found my razor and grab it. I sigh and enter the washroom.

As soon as I close the door, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding for so long.

I didn't look at myself in the mirror. Rather I went straight to the tub and turned the tap so that it's filled with water.

Finally, with little courage, I look at myself in the mirror. Honestly speaking, I am disappointed at myself. The baggy eyes. This stupid body. I shake my head and look away from the mirror.

I look at the razor and bring it close to my wrist.

First cut. "You are worthless."

Second cut. "You are fat."

Third cut. "You are disgusting."

Fourth cut. "You should die."

Fiftt cut. "You are a waste of space."

Sixth cut. "You are nothing but a burden."

Seventh cut. "Just die and do us all some good."

Eight cut. "No one wants you around."

Ninth cut. "Your life doesn't matter."

Tenth cut. "No one cares about what happens to you. "

The last cut did it all. It vented all my anger at once.

Now I am seeing my own blood drip from my wrists. Even though, it's hurting, I feel sort of numb.

It's sort of hilarious. I never thought I would cut myself at this age.

A 12 year old girl cutting herself. What a great life. I chuckle dryly at the thought.

But then again, I never did think that my life would always be me getting bullied.

I sigh and glance towards the tub. I see that it is filled with water now.

I take off my clothes and enter the tub. I keep myself steady by resting my head on the back wall.

All of a sudden, I am feeling dizzy. My vision becomes hazy. I feel really weak and tired now.

Maybe its because I didn't have food yet. Also the blood loss.

When was the last time that I actually had something. Was it yesterday night or the day before yesterday? Who cares anyways?

All I need to do is get thin. But why am I trying so hard? Why do I have to give so much efforts when I know that I won't get what I want in the end?

I wonder why.

I slowly began to see things getting even more blurry.

Maybe this is it. Maybe God is finally listening to my prayers. Maybe I am finally gonna leave this hell.

Before I blacked out, I just took one person's name.

"Sammy."