Chapter 2

So, on Tuesday, I may have fudged the truth a little bit. You see, I did not really have to go to a quinceanera. I did not want to be involved with that club at all. I did not want to be called gay for going there.

I know people are totally accepting of it here, but I am still used to people not being cool with it here. I am getting used to it here. I finally understand their culture. Half the population are lazy, 25% are crackheads, and the other 25% are people with common sense. Makes sense for California. The most liberal state of them all. 

And now it is Friday, and I have to go to the club meeting today. The past few days, I have thought a lot about this. If only I had someone to talk about these things with. Like a good, trustworthy friend. 

Anyway, I am walking down the hall. All by myself. Regretting ever wanting to go to this meeting. And not wanting to be called homophobic for not going. I practically have to go at this point. And now, I am right outside the room. I do not know if I want to go in. Suddenly, someone opens the door and almost smashes my face to shards.

"Oh hi Jared! You came!" Says... Gio. My imaginary sex partner.

"Hi. Umm, so this is GSA?"

"Yes, and this is only like 10% of us."

"Ah, so where can I sit?"

"Umm, you can sit right there in the front!" Great, I do not want to sit there but fine. 

And now, I have been sitting there for at least an hour, and suddenly I hear this.

"Chicken  wing, chicken wing, hot dog and baloney, chicken and macaroni, chilling with my homies." From the local crackhead. She was yelling this inside the hallway. And as she walked in, literally everybody was staring at her.

She then began to come to me and sat next to me. I feel so weird. The only appropriate response is to get my phone out and scroll threw tik tok. Yeah, the usual thing you do when it is awkward. And then, this crackhead breaks the ice.

"So, my name is Katelin, your local crackhead, and your new bestfriend. Here is my resume. You can see I have no credentials and no experience, but a multiple offender of invading peoples privacy for the better. I do keep your secrets though, so nothing to worry about."

What. The. Fuck. Kind of witchcraft is this. This is the only thing I could brew up in my cauldron.

"Hey. Thanks. Here is my phone bestfriend." I legit gave her my phone. How come when someone tells you all about them in less then 1 minute who have the feeling to trust them. Anyways, she went through my phone and found out I am too obsessed with Demon Slayer, and have too much pictures of my cat. Too be honest, she do be a cutie tho.

And now, we begin talking about ourselves during the whole meeting, even when we weren't supposed to be talking. And now, I have a crackhead of a friend. What could you possibly not want.

Gio then approaches me after the meeting. He tells me that if I ever needed help with homework or just to study, that he can help. I said thank you, and continued with my day. And I still do want to be with him. Maybe I will ask for his services later on.

I begin texting my local crackhead, and tell her everything about me. Except, the parts about Gio. God forbid she ever find out.

The next day at school, this girl approaches me after gym. She told me that she liked me, and asked if I would want to go get some coffee with her. I told he sure, but we aren't dating. I agreed to go. We begin talking about how we love coffee, but agreed that Oreo's are 100% better. I actually begin to believe that me and that girl can become something in the future. By the way, her name is Abigail. I can't wait to see her again so I can tell her that I want to be her boyfriend, and hopes she wants to too.

Sooooo, remember when I said I wanted to date Abigail? Well, I asked her out earlier. This is how it went.

2 Hours earlier

I swear to god, this lunch line is too long for crappy food. Why do people even like this food anyways. They serve half the appropriate food serving, and the food isn't even that filling. It is disgusting.

I want to tell Abigail as soon as possible. She is the only girl I have ever liked before. I don't think that I should waste any time. I want to get this over with before I fall more in love with Gio. I do not want to think about him. This is just a phase, and all I need is someone to distract me from him.

I need to find Abigail now. If I know her correctly, she is in line for cookies. Like she said before, she absolutely love Oreos. That is my favorite thing about her, she loves Oreos. 

"Oh hi Jared!" 

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Ummm, let me think about this. After one date, you want to be my boyfriend."

"Umm, kinda yeah. You did want to be boyfriend and girlfriend before you even knew me remember?"

"Well yeah, that was before I met someone who had some common sense. Do you know how hard it is to find a cute, funny, and attractive guy in this school who has common sense? It is absolutely difficult. And you showed me that you can make things special, in a way that no one else has made me feel before."

"Sorry, so is that a no?"

"That is not a no. It is not right now. I want to take our time for once. I have never taken my time before."

"I understand, and respect your wishes. Bye"

"Where are you going, I want to hang out!"

"Sure. I just remembered, I have somewhere to be right now."

I swear, she wanted to hang out, but give me that long and complicated lecture on how boys do not take that long. I need to go home. I have a lot of chores to do. Oddly, here at this school, on Mondays school ends after lunch.

2 Hours Later

I just woke up from my nap, from a text from the local crackhead. She just sent me a link to Instagram. Let me check this out. Oh, it is Abigail's Instagram. I never actually looked at this before.  Wait, look at her newest post. It is her with this boy at school. It is captioned "Here with my new boyfriend." So, she never actually wanted to date me, she was just pulling my rope so she could have two boys at once. 

Remember when I never felt this feeling before with her? Well yeah. I never felt love before, and then it suddenly breaks your heart. Why is this so complicated. It should not be that complicated. I am going to Katelin's house, she usually likes to cry with me. She has cookie dough, best time and place to cry.

Once I get there, she took me upstairs to her room. She made a tent in her room with cookie dough in big bowls inside the tent. She made it so her room was dark inside. She had a iPad inside the tent to watch our favorite show together "Demon Slayer".

The Next Week

I have not spoken to Abigail since that day, and I am grateful she has never came my way since. I have been thinking about Gio a lot though. I still want him. We have still been going to the GSA meetings. I have really made a lot of friends well I was there. I met this kid named Jada. She never actually confirmed her sexuality, but I think she is Bi. Another girl, named Sarah. She is quite a weirdo. Acts like  a cat, and I am pretty sure she is pan.

I am so glad I have been going to these meetings. My parents do not know I am coming here though. They think I am just staying after school to study. If they ever found out I was going, they would kill me. 

At the latest meeting, Gio has announced he found a new boyfriend. His name is Diego. I swear, this is one of the biggest heartbreaks that has happened to me ever. Greater then that Abigail girl. Don't get me wrong, she was a good person. I liked her, but Gio is my soulmate. I cannot imagine myself with anyone else but him. luckily, next week GSA is going on a overnight trip to Sacramento as a influence on the latest state legislative bill concerning school lgbt rights. And, I heard a rumor that Diego cannot go. I can go, I told my parents it is a school trip for extra credit. Gio is going though, and we are sharing a room.

I have to wake up at 2 AM and be at the school at 3 AM. We have a long day of driving ahead of us. I sit next to Gio the whole ride. I have a feeling Katelin knows what is going on. She keeps giving me this look whenever I am looking at Gio. Gio is sleeping right now, and I am tired as well, so I am going to go to bed. I will see you later. 

2 Hours Later

I wake up, to laying on Gio's shoulder. I notice that Katelin is giving me the dirty look. I then check my phone to see 500 unread messages, from the local crackhead. They all are saying: Wake TF up Matthew, stop sleeping on his shoulder, why didn't you tell me, I know your gay, don't look at his groin area. 

I then look down there to see that he was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants. And I see something that no one below the age of 15 should see. Now, may I remind you that this is a Christian Minecraft Server, so I will leave it at that.

I am going to kill Katelin. Now I am going to have to sit on this bus for another two hours seeing Gio's situation and knowing that my situation is growing slowly too. I need a blanket to cover this. I do end up falling asleep again, and on his shoulder, completely ignoring Katelin. 

2 Hours Later

The bus stops, and I fall and hit my head on the seat in front of me. Gio does the same thing. Once he realized I was sleeping on his shoulder, he starts to laugh, and I start to laugh also.

We get off the bus and walk into our hotel to change and put our stuff down. As me and Gio walk into our room, we both freeze, and stand there for several minutes. We notice that there is only one bed. 

We agree that none of us will be sleeping on the floor, I will just take the left, he will take the right. As I go take a shower, I hear him unpacking. As I get out, I noticed I forgot to close the door to the bathroom. And the towel is at the door. I cannot go get it because he will see me. I do not know what to do.

I just decided to yell for him to close the door. He does, I get my towel and get out of that bathroom. And then, we hit the road to the California Capital. We spend all day together speaking at a hearing held by the general assembly and senate.

When we arrive back at the hotel, we both take a shower and go to bed. We are both, right next to each other in nothing but our underwear and a sweatshirt. It is hard for me to fall asleep, but eventually I do. And then, I wake up to a panic attack from a dream. He wakes up too and calms me down.

We sit there for minutes, and just talk about us. And then, I go for it and start making out with him. MY first kiss. This is what it feels like. I like this. I love this with him. And then, he pushes me away. He yells at me saying he has a boyfriend. I freak out and run out saying sorry faster then Trump hiding his tax returns. I end up crying in the hallway, sitting on the cold concrete floor for an hour. Not wanting to face him again.

I walk back in, and sleep on the floor.

When we wake up, I see him in nothing but underwear. We both get dressed, and get on the bus. Instead of sitting next to each other on the bus ride, I sit with Katelin. She can tell that I am depressed, but doesn't seem as if she cares. She is still giving me the dirty look. I swear, I just want to get a brick and hit her so that her skull gets crushed against the window and the blood just flows down the window. 

When we arrive back at school, I don't really feel comfortable going to GSA meetings. I decide to join SCA. I enjoy changing the school. I can't run for office since it is the middle of the school year. Everyone there is super nice, except for the President of the school. He is super protective of his office. He can run for office next year too. Maybe I should run against him...

In the halls, Gio doesn't look at me anymore. I feel so bad. Whenever I walk past Diego, I feel so nervous and can't keep my breath inside. I never should have done what I did that night. 

Our school ends up having an assembly to honor GSA for assisting in creating a LGBT Discrimination protection law for the school workplace. The principle grants all the credit to me and Gio. Gio rolls his eyes at me. Whenever I look at him, he looks away. 

We have a school prom the next week. There, I will be asking out this girl from SCA to get my mind off things. I honestly think I am not gay. I am a disgrace and I need to go back to normal. She is super nice, and super relatable.

1 Week Later

It is time for prom. My parents buy me a nice suit. They embarras the shit out of me. As we walk to the school in our tuxedo and dress, me and lake (my date) talk about ourselves more in detail.

I find out that Lake just found out her parents are getting divorced. And that this is one of the worst nights for her. I just want to turn her mood around so much and give her a good night.

 As we arrive, we see our school lit up and the beach decorated. The first thing we do is meet up with my friends. I look at Gio, and he just stares at me. 

I see him walking to the bathroom, and I follow him. At least he is trapped so he is forced to talk to me. As he walks out, I stop him.

"Let me go... to my boyfriend."

"NO, I need to explain myself. I am so sorry for what happened. I didn't mean too. I do not like you".

"Does it look like I care? You kissed me, I have a boyfriend, and I cannot be talking to you"

And he pushes through me. And honestly, I let him. I am tired of feeling regret. I appologized, and that is the end of it. And then, Abigail's boyfriend walks out. 

"Dude, what you heard... you misunderstood." I say with panic.

"No need... I heard nothing". I am honestly scared. Would if he tells people. I knew I never should have broken my policy. This is what happens, it could ruin people.

2 Hours Later

"Hi Jared, it is me... from Anchor Secrets. Anyways, it is all the rage on that you kissed Gio on a school trip? Care to comment?"

"Umm, no.. that is false" I need to find Lake right now.

I ran away from that Anchor's Secrets girl, and running through the star light dance floor outside on the beach. Everyone is just to happy for this right now. I am running through everyone, searching for Jake. If I do not find her in time, you know. 

"Hey Jared, did you tell people about what happened on the trip? I told you I have a boyfriend and then you pull something like this?"

"I promise I did not say anything, where is Lake?"

"That doesn't matter. Diego broke up with me."

Everything just stopped. Everything went gray, and the air is still. I cannot breath, I cannot breath, I cannot see anything at all, except Gio.

"Come with me Jared, get some fresh air. You are having a panic attack again."

30 minutes later

I am sitting outside, next to the water with Gio. Just me and him. It is so peaceful.

"I am so sorry, what happened with you and Dieg-"

"Don't be. I broke up with him. Sorry for the mis-wording".

"You broke up with him? Why"

"Diego never was romantic. He never was fun. I could not do what I wanted to do. With you, I could. I never felt this kind of relationship before."

He broke up with Diego, because of me.

"So, what are you saying?"

"I want you. I want what you give people that no one else ever gave me. I love you" Says Gio.

And now, the world has gone silent. And remember when I said everything was gray and silent, this is more silent and isolated then I have ever felt ever.