Chapter 7

It wasn't always like this, between me and my father. We used to have a happier life, back when fights were almost unknown of in my family, back when the stress to be perfect didn't exist, back when my mother was alive.

I remember coming home to my mother cooking in the kitchen and my father's car missing. He was always coming home late because of his job, but when he arrived his face lighted up and his mood was visibly better. He used to come in quietly and surprise my mother by hugging her from the back and giving her a kiss on the cheek. In their 20 years of marriage when he used to do that she always got scared. But only seconds later she would smile and throw the "I thought you said you are not going to do that again" phrase. My father always promised but we all knew that he isn't going to keep the promise. Truth be told, I don't think my mother wanted him to stop, I think she liked to be surprised by him.

I always saw true love when I looked at my parents; I knew that they were meant to be together. My father used to treat mom like a queen, like she was the most important person in his life, which was probably true. Mom always said that he was like a second mind attached to hers because he always knew when she needed something and knew exactly what she needed. I have never seen such a powerful connection between two people. He knew her better than anyone.

One time when I was 12 I asked my mother how she met my father. She laughed and said that it was just a beautiful coincidence. Apparently my mother was given to my father when she was 18. She was promised by my grandfather since she was a child, but no one knew except their parents. My mother's father did a horrible mistake which cost my other grandpa a life. His older son died because of that mistake, to make up for it my grandpa asked for another life. My mother's father then swore to give his daughter to his younger son when she is going to be good for marriage. The deal was made and none of the children knew until they were both 18. My mother accepted it as she was used to doing what my grandpa told her, but my father had a girlfriend at the time. He ran away and almost fought grandpa, he hated my mother after he found out why his brother died, he found her guilty too. They never told me what the mistake was.

Eventually, they convinced my father to marry her. In the beginning he was barely speaking to her, treating her like she didn't exist. "Your father always felt guilty for those few years of our marriage. He made himself dumbly stubborn for believing that I was to blame too for his brother's death." I could hear my mother's voice telling me this even now. "He never hit me; he was a good man even when he was acting badly. Don't forget this about your father, my darling Vivien." She always made sure that I didn't misunderstand that part of their life and hate my father for it. She taught me love, only love and happiness.

She was all that really kept us together. My parents' family hated each other, they never made up after the deal, but when my mother was around, they were at peace; it was like that mistake never existed. So was in our house. Everything was kept in balance by her, but that balance broke when we found out that she is sick. I will never be able to forget that day.

At the beginning it appeared like a normal day, a school day. My mother always took me to school since her job was a few blocks away from it. Despite my father's growing business she never wanted to give up on her job, not even when she had me. She made that clear and no one discussed it anymore.

I got prepared and went downstairs to have my breakfast. I remember the dress I wore; it was a yellow simple dress. Who could have known that the exact same dress will end up burning in a bin only a few months later? I found my mother in the kitchen like I always did, the smell could guide anyone towards the kitchen no matter which room they were in before.

-Smells amazing mom, what are you cooking?

-Good morning to you too Vivien, don't forget your manners so soon, okay? I'm making my special eggs.

-Sorry mom, good morning.

-Do you want pancakes with these too?

-Of course.

I knew something was off with her; she wasn't as energetic and joyful as always. We ate in complete silence.

-I'll meet you in the car.

-Oh, no. I'm afraid you will have to take the bus today, I can't drive you.

-Do you have to leave earlier for your job? I don't mind being early at school, I can stay in the library and read.

-I'm not going to work today.

-Why?

-It's nothing important sweetie, a doctor's appointment. Now hurry if you want to catch the bus.

That was weird; my mother never missed any day of work in her life. She always put her doctor's appointments in the afternoon so she could go after work and when she couldn't she would go right after. The only ''missed days'' she had was when she gave birth. She stayed for three days in hospital and the fourth she went back to work. She hired a nanny despite my father's complaining. Something wasn't right but I didn't keep on talking about it.

I was late to school, I missed my first bus and my first lesson was math with Mrs. Winston. She was not the nicest teacher from all the ones I had and the one thing she hated more than disrespect was late students. She was not listening to any explanation, she didn't care. For her being late was just another form of being disrespectful and the circumstances didn't matter.

I knew I was going to be in big troubles with her since I saw my bus leaving and I realized that I'm going to be late, but I did not expect what was about to happen. When I arrived, I ran to the class, arranged again my messy hair and clothes to be presentable and knocked on the door. I waited for 5 minutes and then knocked again. 10 more minutes passed and nothing happened so I decided to enter. I opened the door carefully and stepped inside, the whole class looked at me confused. I was used to that so I didn't pay much attention to them but I froze when I saw Mrs. Winston's cold gaze. I closed the door and went to my bench quietly; I was getting my things out from the bag when I heard Mrs. Winston say my name.

-Miss Collin can you answer me this question?

-Yes, Mrs. What is the question?

-The question I just asked you.

-I am sorry Mrs. but I did not hear it.

-Interesting, maybe if you were paying attention you would have heard it.

-Yes, but I was getting my things from the bag.

-Well there is no need to do that Miss Collin, because I asked you what are you doing here?

-What do you mean Mrs.?

-Did I permit you to enter my class?

-No.

-Then what are you doing here? Get out!

-But…

-Pack your things and get out of my class.

I put my things back in the bag and as I was going out I could hear chuckles.

-Wait for me in the hallway we are going to have a talk after the course.

The class started approximately 30 minutes ago and it was 2h long because it was a double lesson. At the beginning I thought I had to wait 30 more minutes for this lesson to finish and then she is going to talk to me in the 10 minutes break. But when that happened she went out of the class without even looking at me. After 10 minutes all my classmates went back in the class and at the end she entered, slamming the door right in my face. I was still not allowed to go in.

After 1h 30min of standing I was sore everywhere. I was so thankful when the door finally opened and my classmates started going out. I was waiting for the teacher ready to explain why I was late when I saw her going out with a disgusted look on her face.

-I hope you will be able to recover all the things we did today. We have a test from those tomorrow. Maybe you will succeed in not being late if you don't want to miss it.

She disappeared as fast as she said those words. I was annoyed that I had to stand out of the classroom for 1h and a half just for this but at least I wasn't going to get a long speech about how disrespectful it is to be late.

This day started bad even from the beginning and it was only going to get worse. In that moment I thought it was just a mist of misfortune, but the path of bad luck traced on that day was only starting.

For one relaxing hour, nothing happened. I had a normal class of history where I wasn't late, plus I loved Mister Wilson, he was one of the coolest teachers in school. He had a funny way of teaching and was always in a good, funny mood. He could cheer anyone up. Little did I know that this will be the last good moment from that day.

I had a 45 minutes break for lunch before having my last 3 hours for the day. I had my Bolognese pasta plate with me when I was about to start searching for my friends. The lunch hall was very big and every table had another group. I was walking through the tables looking for the table we usually sat at when suddenly a guy moved his chair to get up. The chair hit me making me lose my stability and drop my pasta on the ground. I turned around to face him but instead I bumped into him and the glass of milk he was holding got on my dress. I stepped back right into a piece of pasta and tripped on the rest of them. I looked up and saw the guy I bumped into looking at me confused. He was so handsome, a blonde, tall guy with blue eyes like the ocean. He gave me his hand to help me and I could feel everyone staring at me. He smiled and examined me with attention.

-Um, I'm sorry for that, I didn't see you.

-No, it's okay. I should have paid more attention on where I was walking.

-You, might want to change that.

I didn't understand what he meant but then I looked at my dress and saw that half of it was wet of milk and the other stained by the Bolognese sauce. I also looked around to see the glances and smiling faces, I was their show.

-Um…yes…I…probably should.

I said those already leaving. I left him in the middle of the hall and went to the closest bathroom. This was the worst.

I tried to clean my dress but it was impossible, the stains were still visible and my dress became soaked in water. I called my mother hoping that she will be able to bring me new clothes but she didn't answer. Usually when she didn't answer she was probably focusing so hard on her work that she forgot about the real world, but now she wasn't at work.

I didn't know what to do, I had three more hours which I couldn't skip and my mom wasn't answering. I stayed there in the bathroom until I heard the bell ring. It was signaling the beginning of the next course. I decided to take my jacket from my locker and put it on to cover some of the stains.

I was already late for chemistry and I was stained everywhere, I was going to be the main show of that class. I entered the class and, as expected, everyone looked at me.

-I am sorry for being late Mrs., I had a problem during lunch.

The teacher just nodded and pointed to an empty bench. I went there grateful that I could sit and no one will see my stains anymore, then I heard my name.

-I forgive you for being late Miss Collin, but as you know the late students have to do a problem at the blackboard.

Oh no. I completely forgot about that. Everyone is going to stare at the big discolored Bolognese stain on my butt.

-Please go to the blackboard until I choose your problem.

I stood up and went slowly; I could already hear whispers and giggles. The teacher gave me the problem, it wasn't a hard one, great I could do that. I tried to do it as fast as I could. After approximately 15 minutes I was done. I put the chalk back on the table and started going to my seat.

-Wait there a minute.

-Yes Mrs.? Is there any problem?

-Yes, your last calculations are wrong.

I went back to see what the problem was. I erased my calculations and did them again.

-No, that is still wrong.

I was erasing and recalculating but the teacher was still unsatisfied. After another 10 minutes I finally realized where I was wrong.

-Yes, now they are correct. You can go back to your sit now, pay more attention next time, okay?

I was so happy I was in my sit again. I wasn't going to get up again since my last two classes were in the same room. Behind me a girl came closer to my seat so I could hear her mocking me. She never stopped talking about me and making jokes. I had to stay there and listen to her for the last 2h and a half. I was so done when I could finally go home, I almost ran to my house.

I was so excited to enter and find my mom in the kitchen cooking and to tell her everything that had happened, but when I went in the house she wasn't there and there wasn't any smell of food. Instead I heard screams from the living room; I went slowly to see what was happening.

-Everything is fine Alexander you don't have to worry that much.

-Fine? Tell me how is this fine, what is your definition of ''fine''?

-You are overreacting.

-Overreacting? You have cancer for God's sake Lorraine!

What? My mom had cancer? I backed away from the door slowly, tears falling uncontrollably on my cheeks. I ran in my room and cried until I fell asleep. When I woke up again it was in the middle of the night and my mother was beside me. I could feel her hand on my leg. I could feel that she knew I knew.