Page 21

It's the 31st, and no one bullied you today. Anyone who even wanted to took a good look at your excessively short hair and probably decided that this was enough bullying to last the rest of your lifetime.

After you had broken up with Oikawa yesterday, he had watched you leave with tears in his eyes, but he didn't further try to argue with you. It made your heart feel a bit better because you were sure that your heart couldn't handle Oikawa's heartbroken expression nor voice when he had begged you to stay with him.

You had cried your eyes out yesterday, not coming out of your room until midnight and you'd gone to see your favorite rice meal in the microwave by Mei, and it made you cry again while you knocked on her door.

It had been the first time you had shown yourself to her after the incident, so she looked startled, but dragged you to the bathroom and cut your hair properly for you. At less, as proper as it could get.

You were glad it was a Saturday and that you wouldn't have to go to school anymore till winter break was over. Hopefully, by the time school starts again, people would have forgotten all about you and Oikawa. You were sure they wouldn't, but you sure hoped for it.

After making breakfast, Mei had announced that she will be busy for the rest of the day, preparing some food for Oikawa before he leaves tonight. She invited you to come to help her if you felt like it, but you watched blankly at the way she kneads the dough and cooks for Oikawa as if she was preparing enough to last for a week.

"Do you want to talk about what happened, honey?" Mei had asked you, well into the evening.

"You'll know by now, Mei. It's Oikawa we're talking about."

"I… Yes, I do know, but I want to know it from your side. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling angry that you're cooking for him. I know he can cook and he's moving to go with his parents, so why would you do that for him when he's done this to me? It's as if he's paid you to feed him."

Mei blinks for a bit, letting out a little sigh before she glances at you with a smile. "It's ironic that you're right, honey."

"What?"

"The part where he's paid for me to feed him."

Your eyes go wide, glaring at your sister. "What the hell?"

"I didn't want to make you feel guilty for always kicking him out when he comes for meals… But he has been going to the grocery store with me quite often to help me out, and he pays for his share of food… A bit more, actually. He likes my cooking and asked me to cook for him in return for what he buys in extra, for us. He told me not to tell you, because you'd feel so guilty after you realize just how many times you've kicked him out in the middle of a meal… One he's paid for and is allowed to have…"

You wanted to cry. You hated him. You hated Oikawa. He did so much not to hurt you, in secret like this, and it makes you so angry because there was nothing wrong with kissing someone in public but it's just what the society has made out of it that has made it follow this kind of consequences, towards you

"He's probably really lonely right now, finishing packing up his last items. His boxes have already been moved out, and he's texting me every hour and asking me if you've said anything about him."

You let out a grunt in response. You had been nothing but mean to him, but he's so fond of you and you hated that. He was too nice for his good, and in a perfect world, you two could have dated like normal. But this isn't a perfect world, and the entire nation knows Oikawa… It'd follow and harm you forever, and your reflection from the glass cupboard is a constant reminder of that fact.

"He's sad about his mistake too, and I'm not saying this because I'm on his side, but… He did that because he loved you. It's because he loves you, that he doesn't care even if you taunt him, and call him names. You have a very shitty attitude towards him, and he pulls pranks on you. In a way, that makes you two work. It'd be nice if you can say goodbye to him at least if you're not too angry." Mei kisses your forehead and gets up from the sofa. "There are brownies in the fridge if you'd like something to munch on. I'm gonna go out for shrine visits after I give Oikawa some food. I'm not gonna ask you to come with me because I know you won't. So eat a lot and call me if you want me to bring you something, okay?"

You nod, and Mei takes a large bag filled with food she'd prepared, and then leaves the house. You can hear Oikawa's door opening from downstairs, and closing after a couple of minutes. You spend a long time in a daze, thinking about everything that Mei had said and how far you and Oikawa had gone.

It all started with him attacking you with a volleyball, and it felt like he did nothing but ruin your life when you rhino about it that way. But when you think about the way he'd be so insistent on getting your attention, so excited when you'd call his name, and hold you so warmly, you find yourself silently crying and missing him, so, 'so, so' much.

It's half an hour to midnight when you hear a loud knock on the door. It's not Mei. Mei would never knock on the door. She always had her keys with her, so you knew exactly who it was.

"Masumi-chan?" Oikawa's voice calls out, and it pains you so much because he sounds so sad and defeated, as if he was saying his last statement after he loses a game.

"Masumi-chan. I know you're in there. I just heard you walk near the door." He says, so quietly that you barely missed it, even though you stood near the door. "I...I'm not going to ask you to open the door. But, I'm gonna leave right after this, so… Can you please listen to me?"