Chapter 26: Return from the Dead

As the weeks passed, I slowly began to improve. However, Edith wasn't as lucky. She did regain a bit of her strength, and was able to hold down food a bit better, but her improvements were small. She was still weak, and often slept for days. The Doctors were trying to figure out what illness she was suffering from, but there were so many other patients that also needed help, and none of the Doctors had the time to focus on Edith. I couldn't blame them, no matter how much I hated the idea of Edith being sick for so long.

The hospital was always full, and more people came every day. There was one Doctor, though, that spent more time than any other and would sit close to Edith, and check on her quite frequently. One night I woke up and saw the Doctor sitting in the chair next to her bed. He had light brown hair, with a dark mustache, brown eyes, and he looked like he was moments away from falling asleep. I watched as his eyes drooped shut, and I felt sorry for him. I knew he had been there for days, and the bench that the Doctors would rest on did not look very comfortable. I cleared my throat, loud enough to wake him. He jumped a little and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. He had dark circles under each bloodshot eye, and he also had small streaks of grey beginning to appear in his dark wavy hair.

"I wasn't falling asleep," The Doctor said, looking at me and rubbing his eyes.

"Of course not," I said with a soft smile.

"I'm sorry I haven't slept in 48 hours. Not good sleep anyway," He said with a yawn.

"It's all right; I know what it's like not to sleep," I responded, sitting up in bed, and leaning against the wall.

"I suppose you do," The Doctor responded with sadness in his voice.

"You take excellent care of Edith," I said, trying to change the subject.

"I try, I wish I knew what was making her so ill. I would do anything to make her well again," He said, seemingly to himself.

"You care very deeply for Edith, why is that?" I asked, surprised by my own bluntness.

The Doctor smiled a little bit, "Edith and I were neighbors before the war began. I knew her and her husband quite well. I was horrified when I heard what had happened to her family. No one should experience that kind of loss," He said, no longer smiling.

"She lost everything," I said.

"A lot of people did," The Dr. responded.

There were a few moments of silence before the Doctor walked over to my bed and checked my pulse, and put the palm of his hand against my forehead.

"You are healing quickly, I am glad to report," He said confidently.

I nodded absently, not really concerned with my own health. "Do you think Edith will recover?" I asked

"I hope so, but unfortunately, she still has a fever and isn't eating as much as I would like. I honestly can't tell you if she will get better, but I will do everything within my power to help her," The Doctor said, patting me gently on the shoulder. "You should get some sleep, if you wish to make a full recovery," He added gently.

"Sleep is easier to talk about than actually do. Can I walk around for a bit? I think it would help me sleep," I said, feeling suddenly restless.

He hesitated, taking into consideration my wounds, but I had been lying in bed for weeks. "As long as you stay quiet, and you don't disturb any of the patients," The Doctor nodded, taking back his place at Edith's side again.

I got out of bed, and put on the hospital robe the hospital had given me. My feet felt cold against the stone floor, and it reminded me of the cellar floors of my father's home. I hesitated a bit, feeling my heart speed up, but I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the bed and onto my feet. I walked around slowly, looking at the patients as they slept, a few of them had family sitting by their beds. Most of the families had gone home, it was very late at night, and the wooden chairs that sat next to each bedside were not very comfortable. The families of the ill, usually went home and would return early the next morning. I admired the family members that stayed and chose to sleep in the hard, uncomfortable chairs next to their loved ones.

I roamed around the halls, watching nurses care for patients and file paperwork. A few Doctors looked up at me as I aimlessly walked the halls of the hospital. A few of them asked me if I was looking for someone, and I simply explained I was just going for a walk to help me sleep, they all offered me medicine that would help me relax, but I preferred to walk, so they left me alone. As I made my way down long, dimly lit halls, I decided to make my way back to my bed. I hadn't made it all the way down one of the longs halls, but each room looked the same, so I didn't feel as though I would miss much by ending my exploratory walk short by one hallway. I turned and started back to my bed, as I slowly approached the stairs that led to the floor that my bed was on I heard my name.

It sounded like a small whimper.

The voice was a soft whisper, and I didn't think much of it. Until I heard it again, and again, it was quiet, but the voice sounded like they were in pain. I looked around the long row of people, most of them were sleeping, those who were awake either had a nurse sitting by them or were reading quietly. No one seemed to notice me, and I didn't see anyone watching me, or trying to get my attention. I turned and began to walk up the stairs when I heard my name again, this time it sounded desperate and hopeless. It was louder than before, and I spun around in surprise. My eyes darted to each bed that I could make out in the dim lighting, but there didn't seem to be anyone who was calling to me, the voice seemed to be floating through the air, and I felt as though I were the only one who was able to hear it. I thought I was losing my mind. I quickly ascended the stairs and made my way back to my bed. The Doctor was still sitting by Edith's bedside, but he rested his side against the wall by her bed, and his eyes were shut. I could hear the sound of his breath going in when Edith's breaths were going out. I almost woke him, but I thought he deserved the rest. I crawled under my covers, and pulled the blankets up to my chin like a child, scared of the dark. Moonlight shimmered around me, and sleep covered me like a wave, but as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't get the small voice calling my name out of my head.

The next morning when I woke up, I rubbed the sleep dust from my eyes, and my eyes fluttered open, and the bright sunlight showered over me. Once my eyes adjusted to the sunshine, I noticed Edith sitting up in her bed. Her hair looked damp from a shower, and she was nibbling on a piece of toast. The Doctor sat by her side, whispering to her, and I noticed her cheeks getting pinker as she quietly giggled to whatever the Doctor had said into her ear.

"Good morning," I said in a sleepy tone.

Edith looked over at me with a weak but bright smile "More like afternoon now."

I sat up slowly and rested my back against the wall, "Afternoon?"

"Yes, dear, it's almost noon," Edith said gently.

"Now now, Edith, she needs her sleep," The Doctor said with a smile, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

"You're right George, I was just telling her the time," Edith said with a smile.

I was surprised to hear her say his name. The way they smiled at each other brought a sad warmth to my heart, but I couldn't help but envy the looks they exchanged.

"It's the first time I slept without waking several times during the night," I said with a rested yawn.

"I'm glad you slept well, you need your rest," Edith said in a motherly tone.

I nodded and stretched my arms above my head.

"Would you like breakfast or lunch?" Dr. George asked.

"Lunch. I was never too keen on breakfast foods," I answered.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Edith insisted contrarily.

"She is right," George agreed.

I looked at both of them as they nodded at each other in agreement and smiled. "I suppose I could use a little breakfast," I said, feeling suddenly like my choices had been taken away.

"Beth, you can have whatever you like, you are a grown woman. I can't make choices for you," Edith said, sounding a bit concerned.

My smile widened, "It's okay, you are right about breakfast."

George stood and patted Edith's hand gently, and then left to go get me food. As Edith nibbled the edges of her toast, I looked at her with a coy smile.

"He's handsome," I said with a girlish grin.

Edith blushed a little but then said passively, "I suppose so, I didn't really notice."

I scoffed dramatically, "Edith, don't lie."

"He is an excellent Doctor, and I am feeling much better than I did. I am lucky to have such a skilled physician taking such good care of me," Edith said with a sly grin as she took a sip of orange juice.

I shook my head, knowing she was avoiding the topic, but decided that pushing the issue would do little good. George approached, holding a tray of food in his hands. It had lunch and breakfast food on it. He smiled a little, looking as though he had just done something bad, but not bad enough to feel sorry for it.

"I snuck you some extra food, you could use a little meat on your bones," George said with a warm smile as he placed the tray on my lap.

"Thank you, Dr. George," I said, looking at Edith and then back at George.

"Please call me George, Beth. And you are very welcome," He responded amicably.

"That was very kind, George. Thank you," Edith said with a gentle smile.

They shared another lingering, and then George cleared his throat. "Well, ladies, I must attend to my other patients. I will be back later to check on you both." George nodded and then walked away

Edith watched as George left, and I noticed a small smile appear in the corner of her mouth that vanished when she caught me looking, and she continued to nibble on her toast.

"I am glad you are feeling better," I said, hoping to get rid of some of the tension.

"I am feeling much better, thank the Lord," Edith said sincerely.

Edith and I talked for a while, exchanging stories of when we were young, and small bits about our families.

Edith knew I didn't like talking much about my father, but in a moment of silence, Edith looked at me and asked, "Was your father always bad?"

I looked at her with a little surprise, but I knew that most people would have a hard time believing me when I told them that he wasn't.

"No. He was good and kind, he took care of many people in my town." I responded passively.

"Really?" Edith said with shock, "What was he like?"

I didn't like remembering him when he was good and loving to my mother and me. I didn't like humanizing him, or allowing myself to miss him or feel betrayed by all he had done to us.

"He loved my mother and me." I said softly, "He was proud of his job and all he had accomplished. He loved to take me ice-skating in the winter, and swimming in the summer. He and my mother loved each other deeply, but she was shy about showing affection in front of me, but I remember a time when I walked in on them kissing in the kitchen," I said with a small smile.

I looked up at Edith, "He was normal. He was good. I loved him with every ounce of my being, he could do no wrong in my eyes," I felt tears begin to well up into my eyes. "Until he betrayed me, and my family, he chose safety over his family and what I truly believe he thought to be right."

Edith seemed astonished by what I was telling her, her eyes were wide. "I'm so sorry, Beth, you didn't deserve any of what happened to you."

"No one deserved what happened to them. But thanks to my father, they were tortured, killed, and torn apart and buried in unmarked graves where no one will ever be able to find their loved ones, just like my mother," I said, allowing a tear to slip down my cheek.

"I shouldn't have brought this up; I'm sorry, Beth," Edith said, looking mournful.

I quickly wiped away my tears, "I'm okay," I stood up and pulled my robe closer to my body, "I think I'll go for another walk."

"Would you like some company?" Edith asked, but even if I had wanted her company, I knew she didn't have the strength.

"No, thank you," I said, turning to walk away.

I walked outside, sat on the front steps of the hospital, and watched people walk past me. I watched as new patients were escorted into the building, and as other people were released. I liked watching people walk by. I saw so many soldiers, and a few of them had pretty young women on their arms, or they were in a group of other soldiers. Some of the dresses on the dainty young girls were so lovely. I envied what they had. I envied how they still had everything. They had youth and romance and love. I felt like I was just a shell of the person I once was. Every person I had lost had taken away a part of me. I wish I could have lived the life I always thought I would.

A cold breeze blew my hair around my face, and I watched as the trees gently swayed back and forth, I watched young men and women walk by laughing and smiling. Some of the buildings nearby had been destroyed and laid in ruin. I watched some children play in the wreckage. The gentle breeze was cold, and I felt my body begin to shake. I heard the door to the hospital open, I didn't turn my head, but then George appeared. He pulled out a cigarette and sat next to me, he offered one to me, but I shook my head. He then lit the end of the cigarette, and blew a puff of smoke out of his mouth. "Edith told me about your father," George said softly.

I looked at him in surprise, "What did she tell you?"

George looked at me with sadness and understanding, "Enough."

"I wish she hadn't," I said with a shake of my head.

"My brother is in the SS. I hated him for it, but I didn't really have the right to," George said, putting the cigarette in his mouth and taking a drag.

"Why didn't you have a right?" I asked passively.

George looked at me with a stern expression "Because I joined the Nazi party out of fear, and he joined the SS out of fear and a bit of pride."

My eyes went wide with shock, "You're a Nazi?" Fear rose deep inside of me.

"I joined the Nazi party to be able to live. If I didn't, I would have been seen as a traitor and fired and possibly killed for being a sympathizer," George looked at his feet as he spoke, "I was too weak to stand up for what I believed to be right, and my brother was too weak to resist the pull of what the country told him he should be doing."

"Where is he now?" I asked.

George blew a big puff of smoke out of his mouth, "Nearby, I suspect. He was in a tough situation last time we saw each other. I did what I could for him. He worked in a labor camp for a while, got in some trouble." He said casually.

"How do you know he was working in a labor camp?" I asked.

"Spoke to him for the first time in years. He was...broken; inside and out like everyone else in this place. More defeated than I had ever seen him, in more ways than one, someone really had it out for him," George said, looking down at his feet as he spoke.

"I'm sorry," I said in quiet sincerity.

"I really hated him," George said, gritting his teeth a little.

"Do you still?" I asked.

George took a moment to answer, "My brother really believed the lie when he joined the SS. That's what made me so angry. I was equally as guilty, but at least I knew I was joining out of fear, and not because I believed any of it. He did, or he wanted to at least. I hated him for wanting to believe the lie, and being part of all of this mess. But I suppose I am equally to blame. I've never held a gun, but I sure as hell didn't do anything to stop those who did. What about your father? Do you forgive him?"

"My hate for him is stronger than my love, and every day I try my hardest not to fall apart because of it," I said, feeling tears begin to well up into my eyes.

"You are very strong, Beth. You should be proud that you were brave enough to stand up for what you believed in," He encouraged gently.

"Thank you," I replied softly.

"It's cold out here, and you still need your rest. Why don't you come inside?" George said, throwing his cigarette on the ground and putting it out with the tip of his shoe.

I stood and followed George inside; it was warmer in the hospital, but I was skin and bones at that point, so I felt as though I was shivering all the time.

George and I walked down the long hallway to the stairs, but as I was about to reach the stairway, I heard my name.

It was loud, clear, and familiar.

The voice caused me to spin around. I looked around helplessly, hoping to see whoever was calling to me. George paused for a moment, He looked at me and then at the rest of the people in the large open room. A moment passed, and I heard my name again, and again it was clear, and I knew the voice. I strolled back down the long row of beds, looking at each person. I heard my name again,

louder, and I frantically began to search for the source.

Then, finally, I reached the end of the hall, at the last bed, near the far window. I slowly approached. George hovered over me like a concerned father. My heart raced, my eyes went wide, and I felt as though I was going to faint. My whole body started to shake, and I was sure that I was completely losing my mind.

The man in the bed before me, was John.