Chapter 8.2

"We need her body. Go get it." Rickons voice echoed coldly. He'd somehow knew the path we'd taken and followed us here. It was true that the distant sounds of fighting had since stopped. He threw the end of a rope at me. I hesitated for only a moment before doing what he'd ordered.

I gripped the rope with all my might as he lowers me down, shining the torch over the edge, casting long sinister shadows. My heart skipped a beat each time he loosened his grip, sending me down a few feet at a time. I gave a sigh of relief when my feet met solid ground.

A constellation of stalagmites lined the cavern floor, creating a deadly series of spikes. I find her off to my right, the sight of it turning my stomach. Her small body was impaled twice- once right through her middle, and another on her left leg. Several of her bones were broken, twisted in horrific angles, and blood dripped from her hair after several hits to the head on the way down. I tried not looking at her face, as I struggled to free her from the stalagmites. It made a horrible suction sound as I tried lifting her body, but the stalagmites were too high and I didn't have the strength to lift her above my head, and she fell right back down.

Shadows hands pass over my shoulders to the body, and with his help I manage to free her corpse. Although he has no expressions, I thought I saw sadness in his demeanour. I tied the rope around her chest and yelled "She attached to the rope!"

He tugs on the rope, and after a few moments she disappears in the darkness above me. I hear him heave her body over the edge, and for a terrifying second, I though he wouldn't bother throwing the rope back for me. But then it appears a few inches from my head; I ignored the blood coating on the rope and wrapped my hand around it twice, gripping it tightly, and ignoring the discomfort as it dung into my palms.

Once back onto the ledge, I saw that Jay had reappeared, significantly more bloody than the last time I saw him. RIckon hands him the girl to carry and he slings her over his shoulder like luggage.

We wordlessly searched the passages until we found one with air flow and we followed it through till we were met with the weak sunlight of dawn. The exit was a different passage from where we came in; it was high up in the rock face, almost breaking the treeline.

We'd spent more time wandering the passages than we thought- dawn was breaking on the horizon, and I had a sudden shock that Rickon hadn't given me the antidote for the prisoner's bangle that night. I searched my body for the tightening pain in my chest, but there was nothing. I waited. I followed them down the rock face, half climbing half sliding on loose rock until we reach the forest floor. We navigated around the mine to the entrance and met up with the rest of the squad, who'd sat, resting and scattered nearby.

"We found the smugglers, they've been dealt with."

"What's with the girl?" Leon inquired.

"It seems like Dr. Johnson isn't very good at keeping hold of his experiments. We'll drop her off on the way back."

Without another word they start assembling for the return journey. When we'd walked for about ten minutes, Jay takes out a device and presses a button. There's a distant boom, followed by the sound of tones of rock collapsing as the mines caved in, this time permanently.

After that, hours pass marching through the forest with nothing happening and I was met with a confusing concoction of emotions. After the first night I received the bangle, every evening he would give me a small vile of tasteless antidote, and I never felt the pain of the poison again. Did I develop an immunity? Or was the entire thing a facade? I wasn't sure, but I'd spent all this time trying to accept that this was my life, had I now found a way out? Should I try escaping? I think I'd acquired enough knowledge in order to survive long enough to escape. What would I even do if I did? Where would I go? I'd done terrible things to survive, was it all for nothing? Could I even face having a normal life? Could it be normal?

My mind raced with possibilities and emotions: hope, guilt, fear, indecision. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't notice how far we'd come- we returned to our truck on the outskirts of the forest. Jay shoved the body on the floor of the truck and I was forced to climb in after, nestling next to her feet. If it was all a façade, then maybe this girl didn't have to die. If I left sooner, maybe she got away. But I also knew that Rickon wouldn't have let that happen, so one way or another she would have ended up dead. My mind raced with the list of people that might not be dead if I hadn't been there; but the truth was, with the exception of a Jason Smart's bodyguard, they would have died anyway. If Dark Moon Squad encountered enemies or were send out on assassinations, they would die regardless of whether I had been there or not. If I'd chosen to escape sooner, it would only have spared me the guilt of doing it. Even though I knew this, my mind felt heavy with regret.

With this on my mind, we drove to the experimental institution. Rickon took the body, but thankfully he didn't order me to come with him. I remained seated, formulating a plan.

I needed to make sure it wasn't an anomaly, I needed to test it. That night, when Rickon gave me the little vial of antidote, instead of drinking it, I kept it in the side pocket of my trousers. Then I waited for the pain to hit, as soon as there was any hint of pain, I would drink it and be done with it. It never did, and eventually I fell asleep.

But even with the revelation that the prison bangle wasn't working, I realised it wasn't just the prisoner's bangle that made me reluctant to leave, nor the threat of death if I did try to escape. It was more than that. I was owned by them. I was compelled by some invisible power to do what they asked. Even if it turned my stomach, I still did it. The obedience was drummed into my very being. I don't know when or how; but it was there. It was terrifying to even think of escaping, but from somewhere I still had hope.