Chapter 8.3

The next morning, I noticed that the chair had been replaced with a larger back and restraints for each arm and ankle. "What's with the restraints?" I asked nervously, hovering by it but not sitting.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. Sit." He ordered. Nothing for me to worry about? I scoffed. I eyed the chair suspiciously and his temper runs short, "I said sit. We don't have all day."

'We don't? Because yesterday and the days before that we did.' I thought, although I keep my thoughts to myself. Reluctantly I sat on the edge of the chair.

"TMS. What are you going to use that for?" I asked, recognizing the device in his hand.

"We're going to try and stimulate your connection with Shadow." He explains briefly, with an annoyed tone.

"Stimulate or stop it?" I blurted, then shakily breathed in to calm myself. TMS was a relatively new technology, there aren't any major side effects apart from rare cases of seizures, and has useful utility in a range or areas in psychology, but I'm sure none of the test subjects had shadows. What if it hurt Shadow? Did they even know where in the brain to stimulate? What if they damaged our connection? I needed Shadow.

"Both." He answered, and dread flooded through me. If they get what they want, they might find a way of taking Shadow away. They could weaponize shadows or find a way of giving them away… My mind reeled with terrible possibilities. Before I knew it, I was standing again, at the opposite end of the room, shaking my head. Shadow was beside me poised and ready for conflict.

"I can't let you take him away." I shook my head. My voice sounded calm in my ears, but my mind was racing with ways to get out of the situation I was in. I couldn't let them go through with this experiment. But if I refused, they'd just force Harry or Tasmin to do it and I couldn't do that to them… But if I were to do it and they took their shadows away because I refused to cooperate- that would be worse. Their connections with their shadows meant just as much as my connection with Shadow. It was irreplaceable.

"Ezra sit down. I understand that you are distressed. I'm not looking at taking him away from you." Although the words may have seemed comforting, his voice was as flat as his expression- he was bored with my reaction.

I composed myself. "You better not be." I said, "but why the restraints?"

"We will be stimulating parts of the brain near the motor cortex, so we didn't want any unvoluntary movements to get out of control."

Dr Linderman didn't do it himself; there were two other researchers who did all the work for him while he observed from across the table. Much to my discomfort, they insisted that both my arms and my legs were strapped in while they worked. The device clicked and popped against my skin as it moved across my scalp, almost like someone was flicking me in the head.

Click… Flick… Click… Flick… Click… Flick…

It didn't seem to be working, apart from the tenderness that was beginning on my scalp, nothing came of it. At first, I was glad, and then I was bored. Dr Linderman watched in silence- not at me, but at Shadow who was standing off to his left. His expression doesn't change, and I wondered if he was bored too. Maybe he'd tell them to stop… I thought, but then I started feeling strange. Woozy- like I couldn't concentrate on my connection with Shadow. Panic seeped in and I tried to grasp it. I realised it was still there, but I couldn't understand it- we were still connected but our communication was all jumbled. I was afraid and he was afraid, and neither of us understood what was happening.

"Stop!" I yell through gritted teeth. Dr Linderman watched on, completely unfazed as if I hadn't said anything at all.

"It's working. Turn it up." Dr Linderman instructed, and the clicking got loader, the force on my scalp more intense. So did our panic. My eyes watered and I struggled against the invisible force that kept me from Shadow. It wasn't working. I was losing. I was terrified that it severed it completely.

I couldn't stop him. I couldn't tell him to stop, he only saw that I was in danger. It wasn't his fault. Shadow flew passed me and slammed into the researchers. I heard them yelp and crash into the wall behind me. The rod scattered to the floor, skidding to a halt at Dr Linderman's feet. I couldn't see what was happening behind me, but I felt Shadow's rage and confusion.

I breathed deeply, and again concentrated on Shadow, but everything was still so jumbled. Finally, when I got through, Shadow released the two researchers he pinned against the wall and returned to my side. He broke off the arm restraints, and with trembling fingers, I unbuckled the ones at my ankles.

Throughout the whole ordeal, Dr Linderman didn't move- neither did his expression. Did he not hold any concern at all for his workers? Finally, his eyes flickered to the cowering researchers behind us, "I think that's enough for today." He stood and the two researchers followed closely behind him, giving us a wide berth, and snatching up the rod before leaving.

My ears were ringing, the popping echoed on my scalp as a lingering sensation, I massaged my skull with my fingers which seemed to lessen it a little. My connection with Shadow was getting clearer with every passing second but it did nothing to lessen the enduring fear. I was here so the others didn't have to be, so they could be safe, but none of us are going to be safe if they work out how to take away our shadows. That wasn't why I agreed to it.