CHAPTER 3: Tyler

Dear diary,

I don't know what's happening to me but it's like I have the darker version of myself within me. Like, it wasn't as bad as the previous few days but it's constantly growing and growing.

I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across this post on pen palling. Obviously, I was curious about it so I decided to have a look because, to be honest I have been feeling a bit lonely since; everyone at school just drifted from me just like that. I'm guessing people still aren't over the fact that I kinda lost out on the match I had. But, win or lose we're supposed to be a team right? That's definitely not what my friends were thinking since; next thing I knew - they shunned me like a cold soup. But... tough lesson to learn but at least I realized that I DESERVED true friends, don't we all? ANYWAY, back to the present, I managed to find this girl called Joline as I was scrolling through possible pen pals. She's exactly my age and she seems like someone who can understand what I'm going through. Fate, right? I am so tempted to just click on her name and start speaking to her but it's like there's a force field around my finger… stopping me.

Suddenly, in my head there's just screaming and firestorms of doubt and darkness hurling towards me. The force is so big that it even just pushes me to a corner where I can't seem to break out. I feel something dark... just emerging right out of me and so far it's scorching breath was almost scalding my face. I really needed to clear my mind of the overwhelming emotions I was feeling. However; the dark side was clever enough to put like a mental force field around me and now I can't seem to get out of this trap. I feel so annoyed and stupid. I was this close to getting out of that dark cage and ready to open my eyes up to this new possibility. However, as I was all beat up and shriveled on the floor, I remembered… it's all in the mindset.

Slowly and steadily I closed my eyes and was able to think of my happy place. I just remember that faint memory of my mom making me pancakes and as I looked to both my parents. I felt like the luckiest boy in the world... Eventually; I slowly got up and went over to my phone. All it took was one click to make that needed change to my life. I clicked on her username and typed out a casual introductory message. 'Hi, my name is Tyler... Penpals?' Short and sweet, just what most people like. I just hope she doesn't just ignore this as most people tend to do. Wherever she is… I need her to see my plea for help. Fingers crossed.