No More Joy

"I really like you too..."

You blush a little and look down. He moves a bit closer and then he stops. You hear him give a loud sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like I want to show you who I am. I can't hide from you anymore. I want to be honest and real with you"

"Then please show me"

"But I'm afraid it might change things between us"

"I don't see how it will change things but I can promise you that I'll try and see why you kept it from me?"

He looks down and then slowly takes his hands to his hoodie. He's just about to lift it when the door opens. It's your dad.

"Honey I-"

Jason jumps away from the door and your Dad's eyes are on Jason.

"Dad!! This...this is Jason"

"Please to meet you sir"

He just stands still like a pilar glued to the floor

"...and what is this guy doing here?"

"He...he just came for a visit"

"When you are sick??��

"Sir, I was just leaving...she's too modest, I just drop off some food so that she won't go hungry sir"

"Isn't that very thoughtful dad?"

Your Dad suddenly breaks his gaze from Jason and look at you.

"Uh..yeah, I guess"

You lead your Dad into the house and Jason moves at the same time to the door. He opens the door.

"Dad, I'm going to walk him out, okay?"

"Okay but you better just say bye"

"Yesss...Dad!"

You walk with him outside and close the door.

"I'm so so sorry abo-"

He holds up a hand.

"I completely understand. If he didn't react as he did, I would wonder if there's something wrong, Because you're too beautiful not to protect"

You blush and look away.

"Jennifer!"

"I'm coming, Dad!!"

"You'd better go"

"Jason, thank you for coming tonight"

"I will come whenever you need me, you know that right?"

"I think...I know that now"

He turns to walk to his car.

"Jason!"

He turns and stares in your eyes with heat shooting through.

"I....I really wanted to see your face..."

"Jennifer!!"

"You'd better go...I really want to show you"

He turns and drives away. You go inside.

"What's going on Dad? Why are you so....so?"

You gesture at him.

"Honey, how do you know the guy? You know you can't trust anyone? We can't just let anyone in our lives? Come on Cati-...Jennifer!!"

"I know Dad! Don't you think that I'm not thinking about that every day?...but he's different...."

"Come on honey. I see how he's standing there with his hoodie on and not even shaking my hand?"

"Yeah, I know it looks suspicious but Dad, please trust me"

He walks closer to you and put his hands on your shoulders. He looks you in the eye.

"Honey, you must be careful who you let into your life. You know that we can't just have a normal life-"

"I KNOW!!!! DAMMIT!!! I know! Every day, every minute, every second!!"

You cry and run upstairs to your room.

"Honey...honey!!!"

You slam the door and fall on your bed.

(Why???? why me???? why did I look around the corner?????)

You cry for, you don't know how long until you fall asleep.

You wake the next morning with your head pounding. You get a text.

"Hey"

You look at the text and wonder if you should reply, after the conversation with your Dad last night. You know.....he didn't say anything you didn't already know.

"I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking of you the entire night and how I really want to show you who I am"

You read his text and your eyes start to water.

(Now that he finally wants to open up and show me who he is....I can't)

You put your phone away and head to work. It doesn't matter if you're sick, you feel dead inside. Lucy looks you up and down.

"Hey sunshine! You look chipper? Who stole your candy?"

"Pfff...I just want to work,okay?"

"Okay, okay"

She holds her hands up in surrender. You get your notepad and make your way to the front door just staring outside. Mike walks closer to you.

"Hey"

"Oh hey"

"Are you feeling any better?"

"....oh...uhm...yeah"

"Are you sure?" You just stare outside.

"Jennifer?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going on?"

"With?"

"With you? You seem distracted?"

"Oh, no I'm fine" You get another text.

"Jennifer, did you get my text?"

You put the phone away and just stare. You feel your eyes watering but you push it back, feeling numb. The first rush comes in and you do your job perfectly. You take your lunchbreak and just stare at your food. Your phone beeps.

"You okay Jennifer? Did I say or do something wrong?"

(No Jason, you're perfect but I can't)

Mike walks up to you. "Hey Jennifer.....I'm worried about you"

"Why?"

"You seem....off?"

"I'm fine....just I need to....I need to just do my job"

"Okay, I get the message...."

He turns to walk away. "Mike!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I just need some time,okay?"

"Yeah, I get it"

He walks back to the kitchen. Your phone beeps

"Jennifer?" Your heart is breaking but can't you explain anything to him. It's better to just block him out. The lunch crowd is coming in and your two favorite customers arrive. Two girls walk in. The one called Stacey speaks up.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in?"

Her friend Arizona answers."You're not talking about the pathetic excuse for a human being are you?"

They laugh and point at you. For the first time, you feel something for the day. You're not sure if it's anger or rage but they picked the wrong day to mess with you.

"Who you think you are???? You come in here every week just to make sure that you are still plastic and unbelievable stupid. Let me guess...you couldn't get into college but luckily Daddy could pay off the dean of admission, isn't that true Stacey?!"

You are shouting now. "....and Arizona, did Mommy send you for those boob implants? What is the going rate for something like that these days?"

Everyone is staring and laughing silently at them. They look around the diner in horror and then back at you. Arizona is the first one to jump you. She smashes you into the countertop and you cut yourself just above your eye.

Stacey is also on you, her fist collides with your jaw. Then Mike is there and some of the customers to hold them back. Your Dad comes out of the kitchen.

"I think it's better of you ladies leave and NEVER come back!"

They leave and turns to you saying:

"This isn't over, low life!"

You lay down on the floor and you're ready to die. Your Dad picks you up and takes you to the kitchen.

"Honey, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing Dad, nothing. Just....I want to go home,okay?"

"Okay but please talk to me"

"Not now....please not now..."

Your turn around and walk out the back door. Just as you turn the corner, someone grabs your arm. It's Mike.

"Hey....are you....okay?" He looks at your face and concern is in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to go home, okay?"

"Can I walk you home?"

"Thanks Mike but I just want to be alone"

"Are you sure? I just want you to be safe?"

"I'm fine, please just help my Dad in the diner. He needs you now more than ever, please"

"Okay, I'll do that. Take care, okay?"

"Yeah...I will"

You walk back home and you're not sure how you got there. You go upstairs to your window. You stare through the window and you remember how Jason was standing there and how happy you were that he was with you.

"Jennifer? Oh my god!! Your face??"